Do you think a guy like me could marry a Catholic? She passes my check list except the whole religious thing. She says my anti-church sentiments are not a problem but I don't know though.
Been there, don't do it. It might be OK with her, but it'll never be OK with her family and friends. You will wind up hanging around with her friends and note yours. I got within 30 days and realized it wasn't going to work, best move I ever made. If we had gotten married I would be divorced now.
Are you happy she is in your life, every single day? Do you love to hear what she has to say; do you love to look at her; do you love her every molecule? Does she bring frustration or sorrow to your life; and how often? These are the questions to start with
Most Catholics I know (and I was a Catholic raised Italian) are only religios on Sunday and only for about an hour, if they go at all. They may appear as Catholics at funerals but it’s just the tradition not the mission. Of that ilk you would be fine. Basically secular with Rosary beads stuck in a drawer someplace. But if it’s the hardcore variety trepidation would be how I would roll. If pagan sex moves are off limits that could be a red flag. If your having sex before marriage she ain’t a hardcore Catholic. She’s a character from a Billy Joel song.
How are you going to raise the children to Catholic or agnostic/ atheist? That I would think would be the biggest issue that you would have. in a lot of my relationships I was told that it didn't matter that I was an atheist. Only time will tell if that statement is true. From what I found dating religious man my lack of religion was always the reason for The Break-Up.
I Say try it out, but both of you need respect and good communication, all realtionships need theses things anyway.
I was married to a wonderful Catholic woman for 36 years until she died. There are bound to be some differences with any two individuals. Just don't let any difference eclipse what you have together. If both parties have mutual respect and love, it will work. Marriage takes tolerance. Don't make it an issue. Make your love bigger than everything else.
Will there be children and how will they be raised? Do you want to children to be indoctrinated into the Catholic church? Has that been discussed? How is her family? Are they religious? Are they supportive of your differences in faiths? Is she catholic in name only or does she go to church regularly? Lots of things to think about when getting married.
This is one of those times when I have to admit that I don't know enough to answer.
Why not?
I married a woman raised evangelical. She was in the process of deconverting.
I ask myself now, why else would a religious person marry and atheist, other than to find a supportive model for ditching a belief system?
Go for it!
Go for it if it ‘feels’ right for you. I’m sure it can work if you both have the utmost respect for each other.
Personally I need a partner who is as logical as I am.
I agree about needing someone as logical as I am. I have reached a point where I find it difficult to consider a relationship with anyone who is religious.
Many Catholics don't believe in their theology or at least don't take it seriously. My best friend's wife says she's Catholic but I've had several conversations with her over 25 years and she doesn't believe in sin and isn't concerned about Jesus as a savior.
Depends on lots of factors, but I think Catholics are less intense and stupid about their fairy tales than most theists. If you have a connection, I'd consider it.
Depends on whether she wants to convert you (or vice versa), whether she’d proudly introduce you to her family, have kids with you (if you wanted them). There are values issues also: would you handle an unintended pregnancy the same way? End of life choices? Many Catholics are actually quite liberal in their values and politics. I don’t get the cognitive disconnect, but it works for them. Time for some deep conversations
I agree. I believe that people with differing beliefs CAN have an enduring relationship (I don't really understand the people who think it's impossible) but some deep and possibly difficult conversations need to be had. It's a matter of tolerance, mutual empathy, and flexibility.
But it's definitely worth the effort. Don't give up on it before trying.
Life is too short. If you have a real connection then you should go for it.
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