Agnostic.com
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To me, intimacy means trusting someone enough to be vulnerable with them. It can feel like a hopeful gamble. In the beginning, it's a surface thing like being naked in front of them. Later on as you build trust, it's deeper. You share your dreams, your fears, your failures - and you hope that they will still love you. When they do, there's a rush of chemicals somewhere between euphoria and victory and feelings of gratitude and happiness ... sometimes of rawness, sadness or a desire for comfort. No matter the reason, that moment is a gift that strengthens your bond as you walk your individual paths side by side.

What reactions have you had when you've taken this leap? Did it get easier? Did you feel stronger? Weaker? Was it scary? If so, was it as scary the next time you shared something about which you felt vulnerable or insecure?

If you choose to share, thank you!

Jess

FlippantLlama 8 Nov 16
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2

When I am interested in someone as a partner I always share of myself freely. Making myself vulnerable to another person is always terrifying. I have been hurt many times by my vulnerability. I have also been rewarded by it. I find that there is no reason to hide anything from potential partners. Obviously I don't start off with the really twisted stuff on the first day of communication but everything will come out in the end. I don't worry about familiarity running things. I am a dynamic human being and will grow from day to day. My partner will also grow and we will both be enthralled as we watch each other's journey, sometimes together, always supportive of each other.

When it hurts it's as if your entire world is crumbling and you have no idea how to regain your footing. It is an extremely painful experience. You've made yourself vulnerable and paid the price for it. It can make you want to never experience that level of pain again. It's hard to stand back up when you've been knocked down, as the old adage goes. But, as we all know, you have to get back up.

I realized many years ago that I could not make myself so vulnerable. I could keep my cards closer to my chest but then in addition to saving myself from that possible pain I'm also holding myself back from the possibility of love at the same time. I know just how wonderful love can be. I also know just how painful vulnerability can be. In my opinion the love that I stand to gain is always worth the pain that I might one day feel and so as terrifying as it is, I open myself up to both possibilities every time. For me there is no other acceptable option.

One of my favorite songs had this reminder:
Silence whispers her condolences, for the greatest trajedy of all is love lost. But the greatest virtue belongs to those who would give everything to love again. It is a test. There is always hope and the strongest and the bravest will always keep it close to them. For if you surrender hope, then love was right to leave you.

I will always give everything when it comes to love. I am eternally hopeful that my vulnerability will reward me with love which will make up for all of the past pain that I endured along the way.

Nukdookum Level 8 Nov 16, 2018
2

I am so luck to have this in my life now

1

I've yet to experience the two together (physical and emotional) for more than fleeting periods. Either I couldn't sustain it or he couldn't. I hope to see that change.

bleurowz Level 8 Nov 16, 2018
1

I remember ripping my clothes of to get intimate with my partner for the first time. She blushed and remained fully clothed which in turn made me panic that it was too much too soon but it was also too late, I had committed. I was standing there completely naked with an erection wondering how to salvage my dignity so I dived under the covers hoping I hadn't freaked her out. Well she didn't run away and joined me under the covers and we're still together now. We do talk a lot and thanks to that experience nothing else seems like it's too awkward to talk about. 🙂

Nardi Level 7 Nov 16, 2018
2

I've not had much experience with the kind of intimacy you are discussing here with a man. I'm in the beginning of it currently and we are still at that stage in our relationship where we can't keep our hands off each other. Physical intimacy with him is perfectly compatible... The emotional intimacy will take time...

With that said, I am very intimate with most of my gfs... I can tell them anything and share anything... And I do... They know things about me that no one will ever know about. I've been sharing alot with them lately about my new relationship... They are the most important relationships in my life.

3

For me it's the opposite. Emotional intimacy comes easily. I wear my heart on my sleeve and speak honestly and sincerely about the things and people I care about. And, for the most part, it seem to be reciprocated. People tend find me easy to talk to, supportive and non judgmental. It's still scary, you're letting yourself be vulnerable and that's always at least a little terrifying, but it's a terror I'm comfortable with. Like a seasoned sky diver.

Physical intimacy is far more nerve wracking for me. No matter how much I trust or believe her, my insecurities still make their presence known to me. It takes time and effort for me to work through it and move past them.

3

That is beautiful. I have something painful in my life that is hard to share...probably 5 people know. When I meet the right man this will be one way I'll know he's right...that I feel comfortable enough to share AND he doesn't even flinch.

Cabsmom Level 8 Nov 16, 2018
1

on the other hand, familiarity breeds contempt

TheDoubter Level 9 Nov 16, 2018

I think I depends on the people involved. I think familiarity can be a beautiful thing

@Cabsmom it can be. I was just being the contrariant, the troublemaker

@TheDoubter. Ah ha! It's true In some cases though

1

Yes, I have been there. However, it took a long time for both of us to build the trust needed to arrive at this point. Also, it meant trying to understand each other's background and work around any things that were sore points from previous relationships.

JackPedigo Level 9 Nov 16, 2018
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