Some friends ask me for advice about life and love and tell them to look how my marriage and how my many relationships hence so many failed because I kept picking the wrong type of women. Oil and water don't mix.
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6 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.We do not know at the time that we are picking the wrong ones. We make decisions as best as we can based on the circumstance at hand. Life is a journey and marriage is a mixed bag. The bad part of the marriage is it is hard to get out, it kills the excitement and it makes one or both parties take the other for granted.
Keep it fluid. Meet people, see how it works, else leave asap. Relationships are social contracts. Make it decent but do not hang on if they do not work. Life is too precious to do that. That does not mean you be a bad or heartless person. Be a good human being and don't hurt your life. All decisions can be done with decency and dignity.
St-Sinner
Level 9
Mar 21, 2019
1
I think it has more to do with being comfortable enough in your own skin so that you can listen objectively to a partner who espouses views that may be very different than your own. As long as you can respectfully agree to disagree on some things - but you love each other very much- I think that relationship can work. Not saying it will the easiest one you've ever had - but maybe one of the most interesting.. 
Lavergne
Level 8
Mar 21, 2019
1
The more crowded it gets...the harder it becomes to meet someone.
I read this in 1962....when the earth had 3.5 billion. Now it's more than double that, and increasing by 158 more births, than deaths, per minute.
In 1971 I got an NSF grant to study this.
...sorry...but this is a scientific and biological phenomenon...it's proven. Read the article.
Robecology
Level 9
Mar 20, 2019
1
Your rat experiments , show that high density , limited the survival of infants , not the same as limiting meeting and courting mates .
@Cast1es It does discuss the mating rates; In fact as they got intensely crowded, all mating behavior ceased and the populations crashed.
The mating became aggressive (by the males) and as the cages got smaller, the females fought off the aggressive males - quite naturally. There was also increased male/male mating activity. Lots of behavior that can be applied to what's happening today. Read it all.
You either learn from your mistakes or keep banging your head on a wall. You get to a point where you can wallow in pity or get off your back side and keep moving forward day by day, step by step.
Rowlands72
Level 4
Mar 20, 2019
1
Getting off your backside , does not change what's available in the singles market . There are members of the opposite sex out there , they just don't seem to be anything I'd be interested in becoming involved with . And if I rely on the percentages this site provides , it says the same thing . The vast majority of available members are less than 50% and at this point , the , very " best ," is about 80 % .
@Cast1es is right. If all there is, is a cesspool to choose from, all the positive thinking/go-get-em makes no difference. It’s relatively easy to make better choices when there’s a variety to choose from. I must look in my area, since I can’t afford to travel much. That seriously limits available men-women.
For example, in 5 years of online dating, various sites: gazillions of scammers, a dozen dates that were one-and-done(or not even started due to his attempting sexual assault), two short relationships(one male, one female; it’s hard to meet women!) and one guy I had to get a restraining order on. Online chatting alone, the prospects were dismal. Either there was no interest, no attraction, or all they wanted was to hook up. Or Skype sex. A few were just pure assholes.
I’d say I’ve sifted pretty long and hard, with few results! Much better here on agnostic: dated a few who are still friends, made friends, and currently dating someone. Only one negative experience.
@CarolinaGirl60, yep...I haven't had any bad dates from here or elsewhere. I only romantically connected with one person I've dated from a dating site (not here) so far, but it didn't work out the long run. The others were pleasant dates...but no connection beyond friendship.
I think I'm fairly good at weeding out men I don't want to date before going out.
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