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Just had a curious question...what action does another person do towards you that speaks the most intimacy to you (whether it involves physical touch, emotional expression, words of affirmation, etc)? Now, what action do you do to display the most intimacy towards someone?

Listener59 5 Aug 31
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22 comments

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7

One of the things most likely to engender intimacy in me is for another person and I to make ourselves vulnerable to each other.

mischl Level 8 Aug 31, 2019
7

Since we seem to be going down the love languages path, I’m acts of service all day. As the receiver. As the giver, I lean into words of affirmation and physical touch.

6

Also, touching my face. Reaching out to hold my hand or touch my arm when in a deep, emotional conversation. Also, something that I've recently discovered about myself in a long distance friendship--sharing thoughts and feelings via music. We send each other links to songs on YouTube that describe how we're feeling.

5

It's not a particular action, it's the overall way they are around me, how they treat me, how they interact with me. Their very presence: where I feel I want to be around them more and I get the same feeling from them. Really more of an energy than anything else. It also feels incredibly comfortable and natural, like we're supposed to be together. No other way to explain it.

bleurowz Level 8 Aug 31, 2019
5

Has to be time. To give each other time to be together. The rest all comes afterwards.

Nardi Level 7 Aug 31, 2019

good question by the way.

4

This is a great question as it really gets you thinking as to how do you put into words what you just take for granted.
There are just so many words, looks, touching and ‘little things’ myself and my boyfriend do that affirm our extreme intimacy everyday. If I had to pick just one it would be touching. Holding hands all the time. Walking down the street, around the grocery store, watching tv. Our bodies touching while we sleep. Hugging waiting in line somewhere. It’s just a mutual feeling of we can’t get enough of each other. Some people are uncomfortable with PDA, we don’t give a damn.

Hazydays Level 7 Sep 2, 2019
4

What I find endearing is if they pull me in close for a hug or embrace or cuddle and kiss the top of my head, or forehead or my back. Just an affectionate, non-sexual kiss.

what I do back is pull em in for a snuggle in which I am the small spoon or hug them and nuzzle my face against their chest or face (depending on how tall the guy is) and I use my words to be affectionate too.

4

Let you know when that happens been a long time

bobwjr Level 10 Sep 1, 2019
4

Hmmm...I think what speaks the most intimacy to me is someone looking deep into my eyes.

And our partner eyes glisten with desire

4

Excellent question! It took me a lifetime, but small things have real meaning and should not be taken for granted, but cherished. Sex is only icing on the cake.

3

Trust is my most intimate gift.

EdEarl Level 8 Sep 1, 2019

@ToolGuy Yes!

3

It's all about touch for me.

3

For me it’s small acts - bringing me beverage, or something similar

Haemish1 Level 8 Aug 31, 2019

@Listener59
It’s the unexpected acts that are the most appreciated.

2

When a person makes an open, honest personal remark it shows me they feel a close connection. The second part is difficult as I need to feel close enough to another to display any intimate connection. I have learned relationships have to start out with friendship and gradually evolve.

@Listener59 Attitudes about relationships often evolve as one ages and gains more experiences. At your age people are still evolving and often make changes in their values. This was absolutely true for me and my first 2 relationships started pretty much at the get go. Their were no real core values and I changed so the relationship crashed. Unfortunately, as one grows and develops core values, it also becomes more difficult to find an appropriate match. One absolutely have to start a relationship on a friendship level in order to become aware of any mismatches and problems later. My last (late) relationship drove that home in a wonderful way. However, living on an island, albeit very connected and extroverted community, and at my stage of life and sense of values make a deeper relationship very unlikely. In my bio I mention connectedness, physically, emotionally, mentally and fiscally imperative and I have to stick to these values.

1

There is a certain look that catches your eye that can speak volumes. It's not just a look but a dedicated attention that you are the only thing on another person's mind. When 2 people connect on this level it's magic. As for the action...I am a master of light touch...a long lost art of non-verbal communication 🙂

warlord13 Level 6 Sep 3, 2019
1

As others said this is a great question. Moreover, the responses are also great. Thanks to everyone.

EdEarl Level 8 Sep 1, 2019
1

Welcome newbie to the agnostic community....your words or actions are totally up to you as you choose an intimate partner and the one you choose must listen and watch for your cues to accept your choice for love....if you are being contacted by someone first YOU DECIDE if you are comfortable with their words or touch....be careful and take your time getting to know an intimate partner

0

Touch. My hand on your shoulder or forearm. One arm around your waist. A real hug, holding, heads side-by-side.

0

All of the above

bobwjr Level 10 Oct 5, 2019
0

I think that is the most important question to ask oneself. Many relationships don't work out because people have opposite ways of expressing/ feeling that they are loved. For me it's communication. When someone is really willing to share with me their deepest feelings, goals thoughts and dreams.

Kojaksmom Level 8 Oct 5, 2019
0

Oh, are you asking about intimacy within a relationship? That's a whole different story.

0

Talk is cheap. Touch speaks loudest to me. It could be any kind of embrace. I find myself placing my hand firmly on a person's shoulder to convey intimacy even when I'm speaking. When it comes to receiving intimacy, I'm slowly dying from lack of it. I think I try to convey intimacy as a substitute for not receiving it.

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