Was just listening to the soundtrack to this movie and it got me thinking. It doesn't have much to do with intimacy, but I thought it stirred some interesting thoughts regardless. The movie is called "Begin Again" and it's about several individuals who "start over" and find new meanings to their lives. SMALL SPOILERS ahead if you haven't seen it and wanted to watch it!
-----In this movie is a brilliant and beautiful song called "Lost Stars," written and sung by Keira Knightley's character, and a particular scene's dialogue that involves this song had always stuck with me, because I always found it applicable to many aspects of life: In response to her ex's "pop remake" of her song, Keira Knightley's character tells him that "he's lost the meaning of the song in production." Through his fixation on adapting his music to what the greater audience demands, her ex had forfeited the individuality and the emotion attached to the piece, instead shaping it into a much-repeated emotionless formula.
-----Upon listening to the very song again, I was brought back to a conversation I had with an ex of mine, shortly before our break-up. I know this doesn't correlate or apply 100% but the very idea seemed to resemble somewhat what happened. So, my ex at the time was questioning his beliefs about his religion, Christianity. He told me that despite his family's emphasis on religion, he didn't feel that he naturally prioritized it and felt ashamed because of it. He felt like he "wasn't being a good Christian" and felt like he wasn't doing enough good in this world. How this relates in my mind is his very fixation on "being a good christian" (appeasing outside sources such as God and his family) rather than being a good person on his own collected values and morals from various experiences.
-----His strict upbringing of specific sermons and narrow-minded perspectives (in my opinion) seemed like an emotionless, non-inclusive of individual situation, repeated formula. And he was afraid to approach his individuality, his doubts that he expressed. I believe that fear of his family's disapproval drove him to fully adopt his family's views without critically thinking or considering his individuality. To me, he's lost the true meaning of being a good person, by equating good to Christian, rather than examining what good is on its own, appreciating the beauty of our freedom to consider what is good and the ways we feel we can do good. I don't aim to start a debate and it's not about complaining about my ex, just sharing thoughts and I'd be happy to hear yours on this very concept, the concept of what it means to be "true to oneself."