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I recently brought my new significant other out the closet (I've been dating him for three months) and introduced him to some family members. I also made it Facebook official where I received something like 175 likes and about 50 nice comments. However, only one of my three children and one of my three grandchildren "liked" it. Nothing from my other children or grandchildren and nothing from my siblings. I'm pretty disappointed that they don't appear to be supportive. Has anyone else dealt with this?

ProudMerrie 8 May 14
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0

This is not an unusual problem. Families are like tribes that have a culture, customs and hierarchy. Introducing a new member into this family causes concern that the other members may be displaced and/or the culture and customs may be upset.

ArthurK Level 6 May 14, 2019
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Children can be weird around this (the younger, the truer overall) as can siblings. Personally I never had anything but appropriate responses from extended family, but then we aren't super close either geographically or relationally so who knows, maybe their true thoughts never registered on me.

mordant Level 8 May 14, 2019
1

Pisses me off. My sister lost her husband to colon cancer- and when she started to date - her siblings helped with the kids getting to acceptance. Ie I think we set the tone.

You can never call how family will behave. Sigh.

RavenCT Level 9 May 14, 2019

@ProudMerrie And that would not be healthy in the least. And you know that.

You do what's good for you. Hopefully they'll catch up.
You are allowed to be happy! ❤

0

This is a common problem. Kids don't like 'their' mom to find another as they fear this will ruin their idea of their family.
When my late partner got together with me her 3 kids all protested. Even though 2 were headed elsewhere they still complained and she had to wrote a letter and read it to them that it was her turn to get her life back. Their father was a jerk and 2 didn't want anything to do with him. The 3rd son did communicate as he felt it was his Christian duty. Funny, but this son married another S. Baptist and moved to Richmond VA. The wife didn't want to have anything to do with an atheist and shunned her to the point she refused to visit her son and grandkids. When our dad died we wanted our mother to date and find another even though we loved our dad it was now about mom. She did find someone but he constantly took advantage of her and she complained all the time. Unfortunately, she was too big a wimp to dump him and only was able to do so by dying.
This is about you and not them. They have had their time with you and now have lives of their own. This needs to be their choice, support you or go away.

JackPedigo Level 9 May 14, 2019

@ProudMerrie Mother's should be used to disappointments. If things work out for you the kids may come around. Her kids did begrudgingly.

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It's hard for kids to conceive of their parents being actual people....with all the same doubts, fears, passive aggressive crazy range of emotions that we all experience. Some of them will "evolve" over time....some never will. Best you can do is just soft pedal everything for the time being and let things run their course. Even tho some kids can accept the fact (intellectually) that their mother needs to continue to live her best life - there is a strong primal emotion that - for some - just can't see her with anyone other than their dad.

Lavergne Level 8 May 14, 2019

kids tend to thik they have to have !00% of mom's attention forever

@ProudMerrie You gotta live your own life....eventually they will start "talking" about your new relationship - and why it bothers them or why they disapprove or whatever is going thru their heads. That will give you the opportunity to talk it out with them.....give them a chance to maybe really "hear you". That's all you can do - the rest is up to them to decide how much they value the relationship they have with you. I've always been a big believer in "pick your fights carefully". Not every battle is worth fighting.....

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