In the past six years I have lost a daughter, my son, my wife and most recently my right leg. Being agnostic I never took time to pray for or to anything. When I get asked how I have survived all that I simply reply will power and self determination. I live by one rule"To Thine Own Self Be True"! Does anyone else have a similar motto?
I'm so sorry for the loss of your loved ones and losing a leg. I've experienced trauma and loss both as a believer and a nonbeliever, and it was much harder when I was a believer for various reasons such as "testing our faith", etc. I don't think most believers fully grieve their losses. They deny finality as a way to cope which (IMO) devalues life. I don't have a moto per se, but I do have a quote:
"We all have two lives. The second one starts when we realize we only have one." Tom Hiddleston
First I want to say how sorry I am for all your losses. I was feeling pretty down today, as I was missing my children and at least they are all still here. Then I read your account. Life is not always fair and gives us no guarantees. I try and live in the day that I am given. And not allow myself to stay down, if I suddenly find that it has crept up on me. Stay the course...best of luck to you.
Within three years I had a heart attack/open heart surgery, lost two ex-husbands (one I still loved very much), two brothers and a father. I understand exactly what you are talking about.
When asked, I just tell them that what happened would have happened whether or not I believed in a God. Nothing would have made a difference. Now, what would have made a difference would have been if my brothers and one ex would have stopped chain smoking, my father decided on a different career (he was a Chemistry teacher and worked around dangerous chemicals all the time), and the other ex controlled his diabetes and morbid obesity better. My point, I tell them, is not the "God" you worship, but the way you take responsibility for yourself.
I salute you and your mental strength. I too have suffered tragic losses, my elder son by suicide just a few months ago, the most recent. I have been asked by believers how I manage without god in my life to pray to for strength. They are amazed when I tell them I find the strength from within myself, and have no need, other than having the company of understanding and supportive friends and other family members...for “no man’s an island”. ( in my case woman). I too use the Polonius quote from Shakespeare as a motto to live by, for if we cannot be true to ourselves and our own ideals, then our lives are completely meaningless. I trust you are keeping in good health, you don’t say why you suffered the loss of your leg, but that is an additional trial which you have had to cope with, and one where I cannot assume to know how it’s left you feeling. Best wishes for the future, I feel you will do well.
Condolences on your losses. I lost my family when I discovered that religion was a myth. When I rejected Mormonism, my wife took the children and disappeared. Later, I discovered where my children were, but they wanted nothing to do with me. I have reason to believe that my ex-wife has painted me to be a real monster. I know she has accused me of things that are not true.
However, I have my integrity intact. I know the difference between myth and reality, and I choose to live in reality. I am sad to have lost my family, but I am happy to have my integrity and my knowledge of the truth. It's been 30 years since I lost my family, so I have overcome it, and I'm happier now than ever before.
I think I shall adopt your motto, "To thine own self be true." I have lived it, but you have put it in words for me. Thank you!
I have been through hell a few times, I think they know my name there. I've lost babies, loves, family. So much pain has come my way.
One thing my dad told me when I was really really young that stuck: "You are stronger than you think you are, and wiser than you will ever know. Never let anyone tell you that you are not. When you give them that power, you lose a little bit of your strength and wisdom." I might have forgotten that a few times.
Below ignores the situation your personal situation. I do want to acknowledge your perseverance in the face of what you've seen. Keep working forward.
Think about it. The fact that we're here at all is unimaginably unlikely. Among other things, what are the chances that our parents got together and had us -- and their parents, and their parents and so on through time. (BTW -- that unlikelihood applies whether Dog is involved or not.)
Just that we are here to think of these things makes us the luckiest creatures imaginable. I have my issues too -- just walking or moving is a struggle for me. But you know what? I don't have much room to complain. On the scale of possible outcomes, I'm not all that far from the top. I'll work with it.
I think it was a Bloom County character, Bill The Cat that sometimes fell into a numb stupor contemplating the very idea of it all. Sometimes I can see his point.