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Why do you use agnostic.com?

I have learned a lot about myself using agnostic.com. What do I like? I find listening to other peoples daily hardships and frustrations grounding for me. It is easy for me to get absorbed with my daily challenges and think I have it so hard. When I see how others deal with life, I find it grounding. I find it provides perspective.

I also found out I will never hit level 8 or 9. I just don't always have something meaningful to say.

So thanks to those who help me keep grounded. I read most posts. It is good to share the world with "you all" as they say in the south.

You all know we aren't getting out of here alive , right?

LOL

Bigwavedave 8 June 3
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42 comments

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1

I wish I knew.

1of5 Level 8 June 4, 2019
8

I joined right after my husband past away. I needed a place to get away from all the religious bullshit I am surrounded with living here in Texas. I can't tell you how sick of hearing "he's in a better place", "it was part of god's plan", blah blah blah. This site has helped me get through one of the hardest experiences of my life, and I am forever grateful for the kindness of strangers when I first posted. I've since made some friends on the site and couldn't be happier that this site exists for Atheist and Agnostic people. Now if we could just keep the buybull thumpers away the site would be perfect!!!

8

I've met some really wonderful people that I have made an effort, and will continue to make an effort, to meet in real life. Just because we have laughed and chatted about the state of the world and life in general...grown ups that know our time here is all we have so better make the best of it...

I, too, have learned a lot from other peoples' experiences, good, bad and ugly...we can't all do it all or be everywhere, etc. so learning from others is the best education...

I like most people here and find that a sense of humor and a sense of outrage are both appealing to me.

You will always be a 10 to me, Dave...

@thinktwice. Thank you Linda. You are too kind.

@Bigwavedave Hey...not been on a lot lately...only two more months to go before I am officially retired...very scary,but have to take a leap...I can't wait to meet all of my new friends in NC!

@thinktwice yes, its 7 months for me, I am nervous as well. Did you get a place away from the Himacanes?

@Bigwavedave We have decided not to keep the place on Carolina Beach...even though it survived last year, I would rather be closer to the city...we will be going down to meet with the realtors in early August...hope no bad weather while we are looking! lol

8

You just now shared something meaningful, to me, at least.

7

It's the people here good people don't always find that and the women wow

bobwjr Level 10 June 3, 2019

@BohoHeathen you are awesome woman

There are and have been several women on here I would love to meet and try dating, but they all live far away. I don't think that situation with this site is ever going to change and I will not try dating LD or move to improve my chances of finding someone. So it will probably never be more than an online community for support and making friends LD.

@TomMcGiverin that distance thing really is a downer, isn't it?

@Heidi68 Yes it is, because the positive reactions and really attractive, interesting, and compatible profiles on here that I find from women on these boards validate for me that I have something to offer women as a partner and that there are women out there that might want me, but in the end it only leads to frustration by giving me false hope that I might actually find someone in my area, when in two years on Agnostic that's never happened with this site and no new women my age have joined in my area. It feels like some desert mirage of water on the horizon that's never there when you move closer, something that's never in reach.....

No active local women my age on here, and no real capability to date the ones far away who seem compatible and interested in me, due to lack of courage, strength, and energy. Seems like the non-believing hipster women who are available, compatible and want me are all on Agnostic far away while on Match all the women in my area are believers, non-hipsters, or don't want me. I would try dating you in a heartbeat if you lived in my area.

@TomMcGiverin yeah no one close to me too

@TomMcGiverin same here - even the couple who are remotely close to me are still several hours away. What to do?? So I choose the comaraderie of this group and figure my dogs are pretty good company 😀😀

@Heidi68 you may not be too far for me like the beach?

@bobwjr I love the beach but I am stuck here for approximately 10 years. My horse.....

@Heidi68 😟

@Heidi68 maybe I can visit

@Heidi68 I'm glad you have the dogs and that works well enough for you. I have my friends here, but it's not enough. I don't have pets, but if I did it would be a cat. I don't want to deal with the mess and smell tho.

@bobwjr That really sucks. There were about 5 or 6 women my age on here from my area when I first joined over two and a half years ago. I messaged all of them and struck out, none of them would meet me. Probably because all most of them had in common with me was being a non-believer. Otherwise, I think most of them were conformist, culturally mainstream Iowans that were not hipsters at all like most people on here, so we didn't have enough in common, I didn't have the looks they wanted, or a combination of both. Two of those women appeared to be hipsters and seemed to have a lot in common with me but they were easily above average looking, so I think I had my answer. Hipster, non-believing women can be just as shallow about looks as most mainstream believing women, but it goes both ways........

@TomMcGiverin I have a cat also - but she is a barn cat and only likes to come in for short periods of time when it is cold out 😀 she prefers my horse over me.

@Heidi68 That is so cute and sweet. I admit I have a soft spot in my heart for cat women, all other things being equal. People who love cats are all good people, in my experience. I even watch My Cat From Hell on Animal Planet, even tho I don't own a cat, just to get my cat fix.

@bobwjr and @TomMcGiverin I do not think you should narrow it down to someone local. Because my late husband lived in another country and that did not stop us. It was a BIG love I would have never experienced if we thought that way.Just saying what I have experienced . Don’t rule it out if you find someone you click with on here . Hope you find THE one.

@Gypsy494 I still hope and distance is m mainly a hindrance not impossible just rare and hard

@Gypsy494 I get your point and I have even personally known people that LD has worked for, including a woman that was a very close friend of my late wife. She met her hubby online from Iowa while he was living in the UK. It did work out in their case. But I have also known myself for 60 years now and I know what I can emotionally handle, both with the risk of trying LD dating and having it fail, as well as the risk of moving far away (and then having to cope with that without my friends around) and having that fail. I don't think I could handle the emotional impact of either, esp. the latter, and I am not willing to risk my mental health on either. Remember that my friends are all I've got. I don't have family that I can lean on emotionally.

If a woman from Agnostic said at the beginning that she was willing to move to Iowa for me after dating LD, I would be open to that. But let's be honest, who is going to move to my area for a relationship if they already live on either coast and/or in an area that is much more hip, liberal and enjoyable than Des Moines Iowa, esp. with the winters? I have asked that ? with several women from this site and none of them, even the ones living in the Midwest already, like Chicago and Minneapolis, said they would be willing or interested in moving to my area for a relationship with a partner. And I don't blame them at all for that. It's not worth the risk on their part to move to an area that offers much less than their own area and they don't know anyone but you, esp. if the relationship doesn't work out. Moving somewhere foreign (where you know almost nobody) is emotionally hard, esp. when you are older. Starting over there if the relationship doesn't work out or, worse, if you are widowed again soon, would be devastating for me and probably for others as well if they really don't have any friends there besides their partner.

It's not as easy as it sounds.

@TomMcGiverin I am an animal person, humans not so much 😀😀

@Heidi68 I am a fan of Morrissey's music, at least most of it. Not so much a fan of the man himself these days. As Moz would say, he really likes animals, just not very many humans. I can agree and relate, Heidi.

@bobwjr indeed she is.

6

I find fellowship on this forum. In the Bible belt, there are few people I can be honest with. They tend to get offended that I don't believe in gods. Here, I can be myself. 🙂

bestwithoutgod's yea, I feel that, when I check members with 50 miles of me, there are just several.

6

I originally signed up here because I was "looking for a woman to come in to my life".

But at 73....I've pretty much 'given up" that search for a "lover".

I had recently moved farther away from a long distant (60 miles/1 hour) relationship to double that distance - It's been 13 years of off again-on again-off again - where we can't 'agree to disagree". The move helped me "distance" myself from her....

I gave up on "match" and POF....a few dead ends left me depressed. A.com gave me some optimism.

But then I learned that A.com is much more like FB; much more of just a social media site...for talking about different things....learning and sharing....which I've come to love even more than the "persuit" of a lady to love!

...and while that's been going on I'm learning to love myself better.

I definitely feel some mental health improvement thanks to good people on this site.

I also joined to find real love. But after being here for awhile I realized it's really important for me to make friends, even just online friends, I can communicate with who aren't praying for me. I love many of my facebook friends but I'm sick of religion and politics. Here I find real people to talk to who don't think everything in life can be solved by praying.

6

It serves some of those same purposes for me too. Yesterday I shared about my father's death both here and on FB. It was interesting to see the differences between the responses on the respective mediums. I got some very sincere, touching responses on FB, but I think the ones on here were more helpful, meaningful and comforting, probably because the commenters on here share my non-belief and are more honest and outspoken.

Good point! I too find FB far colder, meaner, more hostile, less tolerant than the folk here...but to be "agnostic" - to admit that label when signing up - implies a level of self-awareness that FB doesn't have.

I see A.com as a real force for good. Kudos to the @Admin!

6

Hello @Bigwavedave.

Don't give up on level 8 - I've only just achieved it, though it was a long haul. 😉

I really like this site, and come here for a few reasons.
1st I don't have to "hide" my atheism. On other social media, there are many "god lovers" and while my friends know that I don't believe, I can't post as freely as I can here. I don't want someone's prayers and I don't want to debate religion at every turn. On Facebook and Instagram I'm all "butterflies and rainbows - be positive - you can go it!!!"
The other side of that same coin is that I volunteer in the community, I therefore keep my profile public and try to keep it as "sanitized" as possibly. The folks I interact with are of many different faiths & beliefs, and I don't want to make religion an issue.
2nd The folks here seem to have a higher collective IQ than other social media outlets. I more likely to have a decent conversation here and am able to relate to some folks here better and easier. Also, for the most part, I don't have to watch what I say. My every letter won't be scrutinized by some troll.
3rd Memes R Us! I feel like my day isn't complete without some awesome Memes and that group is just freaking awesome. It's were I go to unwind, vent, laugh, get shocked, roll my eyes, find some cheese...
To clarify, I had no idea Agnostic.com was a dating site when I first joined, and was happy that there was an option "for community". Not that I don't want to date, but to me, community and friendship are more important and definitely a required 1st step for any relationship.
🙂

I find atheists over all more intelligent.

6

I also joined after my cousin told me about this awesome site. I somehow landed in Texas after my husband passed and felt and still do like a fish out of water here. But with this site I can talk to like minded people. I find so many over the top religious people and trump crazies here in Texas ......what was I thinking moving here from Canada??
You all keep me sane .

6

I love Agnostic.com because of the intelligent, funny, kind and thoughtful members.

It's a joy.

6

I'm here to give my meaningless opinion just like everyone else. It's mostly entertainment when I have nothing better to do in the "real world" for a few minutes.

5

I have too many facebook friends with similar worldviews. It's interesting to see some different ones. And I enjoy a relative anonymity here.

5

I use agnostic.com because I like the opportunity to discuss, read or share any topic with a freethinker community. since I came to this page I have learned a lot from each of the members, but when they suggest books, videos, songs or any article is a plus for learning and it enriches my way of thinking. Another reason to be in agnostic.com is for community and as plus to see if I can find my romantic - non-believer soulmate.

5

I find it like a support group. Sometimes it is easier to discuss your issues with people who you don't know personally. Plus, you get advise from different perspectives. The best part is no one tells you to pray about it or gives you advise based on scripture.

5

Don't sell yourself short.

4

Don’t worry about hitting level 8 or higher, nothing different happens there.

Nine is when they send you the invoice isn't it ?. LOL

4

For community and for similar nonreligious viewpoints.

4

"you all" as they say in the south." The Southern (Dixiebonics) word is "y'all". Y'all can be singular or plural. All y'all is plural.

Y'all come back now, ya hea.

Glad I read comments because I was going to.say the same thing

@Heidi68 That would have been OK and it's always nice to be agreed with.

4

It's a more open minded web site and don't have to deal with religious bs. I feel more accepted here than Facebook or offline.

4

i like it because, although there are proportionately just as many pugnacious punks and ignorant idiots here as on facebook, there are also proportionately just as many cool folks, and they're not the same cool folks i know on facebook, so i've expanded my reach and my reachability, both. in addition, very few people here say they're going to pray for me or tell me i'm going to hell, so that is cool too. (on facebook, i don't get that a lot either, because i've weeded such folks out of my life, but still. it's potentially more annoying on that level. i still hang out there. i can multitask, you know.)

g

@genes see don't you hate that little thoughts and prayers button ? Lol with the held together hands?

@Bigwavedave lol who is genes?

i have never seen a thoughts and prayers button.

g

3

I started using Agnostic, because i thought it was this relief from all the unwanted thoughts and prayers occurring in the periphery of my life. I did get into a huff n' puff with someone over inappropriate internet behavior and then retreated from logging in daily. I also spoke with someone I met on AG about his absence from the message boards and chat rooms. He told me he got into this tumult with another member with slut-shaming at the core of their disagreement.

I think because AG is so different from other social media outlets, it's hard to remember that we are still online with strangers. I have met a few people on AG who have enriched my life. But there are still some personalities with whom I clash.

I'm at level 7.4 / You mention that you don't think you're going to get to the next level. From 7 to 8 is a long stretch. Some people come on daily with good morning messages. Others share the profoundity of their thoughts. If you stick it out and find what works for you, you'll get to the next level. If you lose interest in the site, I don't think there is anything wrong with saying you need a break from AG. (Yes! Even AG!)

Good Luck in reaching the level you want and have fun with whatever you do!

@Lillyfield41 yes between 7 and 8. And they quit counting getting a response to a post. So the system is really set up for you to post a lot to move to the next level. Lol. My once a week posting will take awhile.

3

I feel free to be myself. Because after all, even i am amazed at some of the shit that comes out of my brain! I have to censor myself when I'm around normal Christians

@kojaksmom you are one who I read all your posts . I enjoy following your thought processes to the challenges you face . We all have our burdens eh.....

3

I don't worry about the level I'm on. (Though I do look forward to eventually getting a tee shirt.) I just enjoy chatting with people who have views similar to mine. 🙂

3

Yes, we aren't getting out of here alive.
Agree with you, this is an interesting experience in so many ways, other than just grounding. I do find fascinating how one thing lead to another and next thing you know, the thread takes a detour between other parties. Sometimes not even discussing the original topic and going at each other like it's their duty. At times goes the other way, where everyone contributes with thoughts and ideas, suggestions, etc. This is more than just Agnostics.com, this is a channel where we all are connected and it is up to each and every one how we choose to use it. Keep the narrative alive my friend, let the communication flow and move forward. Now, IamGoing back to sleep.... Cheers

@iamnobody... well said . Thank you.

3

Of those I meet - I prefer most dogs to most people. But on here I meet many people who I would like to sit with and share coffee or a meal - so metaphorically we do (and my dog lies beside my chair as we chat)....and I look forward to crossing paths with many more interesting agnostics

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