I would personally love a doggy photo... it's a cat or bug/insect photo (ie if someone owns a tarantula) that would skeeve me out... blegh

The pose with the car. Generally arms crossed, even legs crossed, leaning against some compensation machine with multi horsepower.

@linxminx that is an automatic left swipe!

And whats wrong with my dog?

@PondartIncbendog

It's not YOU.

@maturin1919

A photo with the dog is better. "You must be in every photo" is a rule of thumb with online dating.

@LiterateHiker He's better looking!

@PondartIncbendog honestly... there have been times in the distant past where I would message a guy I was uninterested in just to tell him he had a cute doggy... I had to start blocking any guy I did that to cuz they figured me messaging them meant I wanted to date... Oops!

@demifeministgal Yeah. I just like to remain anonymous. I don't show pictures on the internet of myself or anything that could identify. I don't like stalkers. I met an old friend from HS. She had the picture of the bar that she hangs at, the front of her house and her work schedule. From facebook, I could figure her address, the type of car she drives, her work schedule and her vacations away. Bad security.

@PondartIncbendog you take your online anonymity much further than I ever had! And people say that I am too private online... I need to start referencing you and people like you to complainers gosh darn whiny millenials

@demifeministgal Holdover from my security training in the AF. Am I paranoid?

@PondartIncbendog

Yes, you are paranoid.

@PondartIncbendog AF?

@demifeministgal BTW, if you have to know what I look like? I'm four foot one, have a limp, back hump on one side, (moves sometimes) I have all four teeth, and several patches of hair.

@demifeministgal Air Force.

@demifeministgal, @LiterateHiker NO, I'm NOT! Are you watching me?

@PondartIncbendog

I was joking.

@LiterateHiker I know.

@PondartIncbendog oh my... be sure to wear a hoodie and sunglasses when running errands or all the ladies will chase you down like a celebrity... looking like that you must be quite the ladies man!

@PondartIncbendog aah.... Americans and their abbreviations.... y'all LOVE abbreviating words/terms... I've learned many over my years interacting with Americans online

@demifeministgal Yeah. All the cougars are after me in this town. Its scary.

@PondartIncbendog you may be joking.... but in case you are not, I know what that feels like... senior men IRL are into me as well. :/

@demifeministgal Y'all: A small rodent commonly found in the southern part of the USA. Identified by its beer like smell and proximity to old cars on cement blocks. Also Y'all's commonly have bad teeth and have been known to chew off their own feet. Y'all's have been known to weigh as much as six hundred pounds and eat as much as thirty hambargers an hour.

@MichaelSpinler Please, write your own post, this is about how women perceive men’s photos. Game playing is a different subject again. Perhaps yourself @GIjeff04 and @storm1752 can start one, you all seem to have your own agenda on this post.

@girlwithsmiles sorry. I thought I was answering the post with what I thought was relevant anecdotal experience. Obviously it was a generalization. I certainly have met amazing people from online but they are few and far between and I'm referring to the pay-for dating sites. Not this site. I saw gals griping about guys and guys can gripe about gals, it seemed reasonable at the time. Sorry to cause any consternation. Hope you have a great weekend

@MichaelSpinler I’m not man bashing and and not sexist. The genders perceive things differently, yes it’s a spectrum and not an absolute. This is the first post I’ve ever made that has been gender specific... and will probably be the last due to the nightmare comments.
@GIjeff04 I’m sorry you got conned into one of those paid sites, some do string you along to get your money and are not a true reflection of dating as the women get paid to post. Unless you’re talking eharmony; that’s legit

@MichaelSpinler assumptions, assumptions and an inability to converse about the topic at hand. Good evening.

@girlwithsmiles this motherfucker honestly went and accused you and this post of man-bashing and being sexist... yeesh sounds like an incel! Yikes! I guess the OP had to specifically state this is about this demographic of men, NOT ALL MEN! NOT ALL MEN! NOT ALL MEN! And yes multiple times in caps locks because the notallmen brigade are kinda slow and do not catch it if you say it once in lowercase letters... trust me I've tried. xD

Do guys actually do that on dating sites?

I'm not even "scantily clad" in the shower! I not even sure what that means.

@mentalinnuendo yes, yes they do. And it's the silliest thing I've ever seen.

@mentalinnuendo absolutely

@Marcie1974, @PondartIncbendog, @Wildflower, @ArtzyNerd, @motrubl4u I must be out of the loop then. LOL Of course, I haven’t tried the online dating thing yet.

@mentalinnuendo I assure you, young-ish guys (aka under 40, or between 20-40) do everything she has mentioned in dating bio pics.

@Storm1752 I agree with the bad job interview statement.

You get what you expect in life, generally...just sayin'

Well stated and correct.

I’m overweight, does that mean I don’t deserve to date?

@Marcie1974 No, of course not.
I'm an abnormal person and talk funny. How about me? Fixed income, asocial, reclusive...any takers?
Once you get past the horribly bad first impression, my true magnificence becomes apparent, but by then she's gone, baby, gone!
(Did I mention my hilarious but all-but-impenetrable sense of humor?)

@Storm1752 I was specifically referring to you saying:

“ The "ladies" were for the most part the biggest collection of losers I ever saw: ugly, overweight, ignorant, you name it. ”

Makes it sound like you think overweight women are losers.

@Marcie1974 I was ranting, reacting angrily.
I've been thinking a lot about this today, and my considered opinion we ALL have our "ideal" in mind; unfortunately our ideal is probably also everybody else's in our "subculture," AS WELL AS in the dominant culture.
In the culture at large, why do the rich men always have the most beautiful women? Because women want rich men, and men want beautiful women? It would certainly seem so!
In OUR group, it may be incrementally different. I believe it is.
Our overall opinions on the fundamentally BASIC issues of life take a more central role. It's not as blatant a sell-out with us, as it is on meat-market sites like POF, where the quid pro quo is nakedly obvious.
BUT, things such as physical attractiveness, intelligence, financial stability, etc., etc., are still important.
I'd say that's fair.
I'd have thought our choices are more enlightened, but the basic, nuts-and-bolts realities are the same.
To the original question, maybe that's why a lot of men don't CARE about their physical appearance? Maybe they know it's irrelevant; they've always been successful looking like slobs, why change? Maybe the well-groomed guys are just telegraphing their shortcomings!

I'm chuckling because I have the bike, and the Dragon Queen is beautiful. I couldn't find a man who had as nice a ride, so I got and ride my own!
Oh, and yeah... men on dating sites are trolling when they use sunglasses and beers and/or hide their faces with hats and shadows. I doubt they are seriously looking for anything more than a side chick.

@DallasKimmerzzz

Hiding bad teeth? You're right.

Every single man I met with closed-mouth photos had horrid teeth. Nasty, crooked, missing, and/or rotten breath that would fell a moose. Ugh. I can't imagine kissing that.

Are you ladies ok with dentures or partials? How about implants? (I meant teeth)

@PondartIncbendog yes!

@PondartIncbendog oh yes.

I've always been told to just be myself. Sometimes that works, most times it doesn't.

I would pick rich... then if I am deemed ugly i can pay for plastic surgery to make me prettier heh

@Allamanda I have not received any points for being over 40

@demifeministgal oh because Lisa Rinna's lips are so attractive?

@lerlo googles Lisa Rinna

Not smiling often ends up looking like a mugshot.

@Wildflower i prefer a picture of someone who looks comfortable not smiling than someone with an awkward, strained expression

@basher a happy person has no problem being comfortable with a smile. To each his own.

@Wildflower lol wow. cool for you that you’re totally comfortable in pictures.

I don't smile well for pictures either. Very forced. I have a low opinion of to much smiling anyway. It could be from working too much customer service but to me it comes off as dishonest like they are trying to sell me something or not taking me seriously.
Smiling is good in its place. It's not nice to be around someone who is not happy to see you. Just not all the time, or in pictures if it comes off as fake.

May be a good temp studio!

IKR?! Even videos are done in cars. What is up with that?
I don't think I've ever gotten into my car, checked the rearview and thought, "Ooh! I'm lookin' fine! Gotta take me a pic!"

I tend to wonder if they’re not really single if they post a car selfie. At this stage I don’t care if I get it wrong, I’d rather err on the side of caution. Plus if you were serious surely you’d make the time to take a nice picture somewhere else?

Oh yes, and shirtless. That puts me off, especially if it’s a selfie taken laying on a bed!

I didn't understand a word of that? Singlets? Bears?

@PondartIncbendog Singlet-British for undershirt, either tee or (usually) wife beater.

@girlwithsmiles no clothes, no contact. Period!

There all about money? Do you mean they're? And if so, do you mean women?

@Cutiebeauty not women but the sites xx

@LeighShelton haha okay

I do know someone who worked for a paid site for men, it was called something like bored housewife’s and she was paid to string men along. But I know they’re not all like that, my old bosses daughter met her husband online. For me the paid sites were no better/ worse than the free ones though. Pictures included!

@girlwithsmiles your right and even if they are honest you don't know about the individuels on them

C'mon Annne, hes just a with it, hip, happening kind of guy who's got the 4-1-1.

@RonWilliam53 can't help noticing you ain't wearing silly headgear..........

@AnneWimsey You missed me at the Rocky Horror shadow-cast I was in... But no, I like to keep my way-cool persona under wraps.Except when its time to do the Time Warp.

@RonWilliam53 I sing "Sweet Transvestite" at karaoke all the time, complete with English accent, and gusto, confusing the Heck out of those who do not know me!

@AnneWimsey I carried all the songs as earworms for a good two weeks after and during the entire rehearsal period. Every so often, one crawls out of the pits of my brain and explodes in my ears-right now it's in just seven days...

Zzz start a post of your own, what part of, ‘this one is for the ladies’ don’t you get?
It’s one thing to be the first one to comment fishing for complements, but I don’t want your sexist bullshit on this post. Move along.

@girlwithsmiles Oh insulting men, which you did with obvious relish, is one thing. But when men fire back, it's sexist bullshit...
I see.
I will say the women here are of a much higher caliber, overall, than those on your typical "dating site." Probably because this isn't "really" a dating site. Not to me, anyway.

@Storm1752 see comment above to Spinler. I’m not insulting men, I’m discussing what women find attractive or not in a photo on an online dating site. You could read and educate yourself, but you chose to jump to another man’s defence when you see him get challenged.
I’m pretty sure GI can answer for himself... in fact he did so, also above.
Wow this post is hard work! Lols.

It’s not a competition really, there are so many variables. Not many people go for purely looks...well not many women

@girlwithsmiles (whiny 2 year old voice) But I want to wiiiiiinnnn!

@MrBeelzeebubbles well good luck...

@NoPlanetB no wonder I can't get a date... rarely brush my mop and do not own make up....

How would you know if they were not wearing makeup though? Some of us wear light makeup that is undetectable, especially via photos... for example I wear concealer and eyebrow filler but you wouldn't guess that from a pic... and would wrongfully assume I am not wearing any... interesting thing how some straight/bi men are better makeup experts than women!

You have a good photo on here...

I agree with that!

@Ellen-SoCal I got lucky. Took me several tries and some cropping of the photo.

You've elimated everyone I've ever dated

I should be perfect for you then, IF I was willing to give up MY freedom.

@Storm1752 Exactly.

My first wife was/is also Bi-polar and also refused any help. She said all the doctors wanted was to get into her pants (we were part of a military community in Europe). 5 years into the marriage she had her first affair and had 2 more. Once her clearance got taken away because of one of her episodes. She went to a regular medical doctor and he said she was OK so she got her clearance back (crazy). At onetime I thought why not a doctor getting into her pants seems like others (they were all high ranking officers) were. Mental illness is harder to deal with than physical.

@JackPedigo I'd readily agree. Mental illness is, at least for my temperment, more difficult. Particularly if personality characteristics vary dramatically, or impede healthy communication.

@LisaFultonave Absolutely, and communication is the key to any healthy relationship.

Some people simply have a strong persona, and it shows in pics..,however, that could still hide a flawed character!

Who would believe there are people without character flaws?

You have a point there. And the angle is always the exact same in each. Like someone once said, "Oh, that's your good side."

Christians make a big deal of appearing happy, especially in photos . . . it is their sales pitch! It is certainly not a guarantee of sanity or congeniality!

You're Bob? I thought I was BOB?

@PondartIncbendog LMAO ridiculous isn't i

With sunglasses probably wrinkles or eye-bags!

@Merseyman1 In mine, I was wearing shade s because I was outside in the sun. I've worn contacts and/or glasses since I was 3, so it just never phased me before. This is only the 2nd online site I've ever built a profile for, so I guess this post is providing me with tips for better photos?

Exactly how I feel, especially after my last partner looking for co dependence. I work full time I don’t have time for caring for a grown man too!

I'm surprised that isn't a profile question, actually...

@LisaFultonave some sites have it in their criteria but answering is optional. I've seen lots of guys say they're nonsmokers, but they have a cigar hanging out of their faces in a pic.

Well they can keep them! And so can you.

@girlwithsmiles I can't stop smiling