So - for those of you, like myself, who wouldn't mind finding a partner, it seems yet more qualifiers have been added to my already complicated list ...
Do they ...?
Take care of themselves
favor the guy in the White House
Drink or drug to excess
know how to spell
like animals and nature
have control of their finances
avoid judging others
have a "personal relationship with fantasy"
have an open mind
practice kindness to most others
and now add :
counter "Black lives matter" with "All lives matter" - totally missing the point.
Sure glad I enjoy my own company ! What are your seemingly impossible-to-fill preferences ?
I have some qualifiers, or disqualifier that I would add to your list.
No kids at home and all kids being independent and responsible citizens.
Live in the immediate metro area, I don't do long distance.
Be reasonably organized and tidy.
Be able to take care of his own stuff and have stuff in porportion to the available space, ie no hoarders.
Must tolerate small children
I gave up long ago .
There are no men around 50 who are willing to take their time . Everyone at this age is looking to get married , and I have no desire for that . Also , everyone pretty much does some type of drugs , and that’s a huge turn off for me .
They see a high tech nurse and an independent woman , and their priority is how to include that into their mortgage . No thanks . Add religion / trumpists / unkind thoughts and manners , and I am hiding in my house for ever .
I have learned to travel alone , dine alone , do everything alone . I will die alone , and merry Xmas .
I gave up dating and relationships five years ago, embraced my independence, and FREEDOM!!! Not looking, and never will again. I am much happier today than I have ever been in my one marriage, or subsequent relationships. We enculturate our males with a need to control and rule over something. I got tired of being that "something." Never again.
I agree with a lot of yours but I don’t know what you mean about a personal relationship to fantasy. I would add shared humor and intelligence, similar values around money, family and friends; doesn’t smoke; lives independently; divorced or widowed, age appropriate (my age +/- 5 years), and similar sex drive and attraction.
As I wrote in my dating profile:
There must be fifty ways to meet your lover.
Hike a new trail, Dale
Climb a new hill, Bill
I’m full of joy, Roy
Come trekkin’ with me.
I’m lookin’ for smiles, Miles
Intellectually smart, Art
Love a man with wit, Mitt
Come set yourself free.
If you are a Trump supporter, hit the back button NOW.
I'm seeking an athletic, intelligent man with a great sense of humor who treats me with respect and kindness. Shared recreational activities are a bonding experience for couples. That's why I want a man who also loves hiking.
Although I'm a great cook, I'm not willing to do all of the meal planning, preparation and cooking. Everyone loves the magic words: "Dinner is served."
Loving relationships work best when we add a certain spirit, an attitude of goodwill. I wouldn't know a grudge if it mugged me. I miss the tender touch, laughter, conversation, intimacy, teamwork and fun of a committed, loving relationship.
At 66, I enjoy my own company, have a happy life and am not willing to settle. Over 70% of women age 60-80 refuse to remarry. Yet 2/3 of older men want to remarry. Why?
I found many older guys want a mommy to take care of them- doing all of the housework, meal planning, cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc.- and great sex.
I'm not willing to be a kitchen slave or maid for a lazy, sexist guy. Forget it.
I actually had a list that I asked the guy that became my 2nd and last husband before we went out. Evidently it was a pretty good list since we were married 38 years before he died.
I asked him if he went to church.
I asked him what he thought of black people
I ask him how often he saw his children from his 1st marriage.
His answers assured me that he was not interested in religion and accepted people based on how they acted. He also was obviously a consistent absent father who had no bitterness toward his 1st wife and always put his children 1st. Then there was that grin and the green eyes.
I have no list and no expectations from anyone or anything or life in general. Don't get disappointed that way.
Since covid homebound been watching free amazon movies. A lot of love stories don't leave space when someone dies for anyone to fill it because they were so in love. I'm kinda in that situation. I had a wicked crush on my 2nd husband in high school, we met at 14 but he and his best friend switched sisters for like 6 years and I couldn't get to him until my 30s.
He was good looking, kind, always said 'do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?" So we were always happy. Hard spot to fill for me anyways. He passed in 2005. I have dated, never interested.
When making lists of what you are looking for, think about how YOU stack up against what some woman is looking for. The category which an awful lot of men fail at (I am a male), is Are you not an asshole? The majority of men are assholes. You can have the best list in the world of what you are looking for, but no will woman be interested in you if you are an asshole.
One other thing, these lists of requirements don't work. There's either chemistry or there isn't Someone could tick every one of those boxes then you meet him/her and an hour or even a year later, it turns out you can't stand them.
It's all about the chemistry.
Intellect and independence in massive quantities. Enough of that combination with a relatively undamaged ability to love (prerequisite love of self), taking joy from work -not toil, and intense curiosity about how life works are what I hold out for.
Sadly, though a whistle is sometimes heard in the distance, I'm contented with the probability that the last train probably already left the station. One MUST have standards by this age or be doomed to 'Groundhog Day'.