It's called cognitive dissonance. One's beliefs do not fit with reality. Most people have bouts of this but still cling on to their beliefs. A small minority end up going to atheism to get rid of the cognitive dissonance. All supernatural beliefs are trying to put a square peg into the round hole of reality. It simply doesn't fit. If one is truly objective and honest, one comes to that conclusion.

First I've heard of this; but it makes sense.

Sad.

I currently became unemployed because my construction company I work for has no projects at this time.
So now, on top of having no electricity because of the hurricane Friday, I am going to have to collect unemployment, and job hunt because I don't think I'm going to get called back anytime soon.
I'm just waiting for someone to say to me something like "maybe that's god trying to tell you to come back to his herd".

No but I had a friend who really wasn’t ready to go and was wishing her cancer on another person whom she felt was more deserving. It was an unpleasant situation.
Like you I just tried to support her as best I could. It does feel like a more difficult death though, than people I’ve supported that have been in a better/ less bitter place mentally.
I hope to have a more peaceful death, mentally, I think I’d just be happy it was an old chick like me, and not my nephews.

I have to question the level of friendship if your socalled friend is wishing that it is you who are ill and not her, it seems a friend should never wish ill on someone if they truly consider them to be a friend. Maybe I hold the friend relationship to a higher standard than others but I would sacrifice my own health to help a true friend but never wish and illness that I had upon another that I could be well.

I mean, whatever gives them comfort, I guess. I realized a while ago that my xtain pals tiptoe around me and not the other way round, lol. But then I'm rather vocal and unapologetic with my opinions on religion.....
I've got several bible thumpers in my social circle suffering from dire physical ailments. I just comfort and commiserate with them and gawd is never mentioned.

In my 77 years I have had several occasions of a seriously ill xian friend tell me, “I just don’t understand why this had to happen”. In other words, “Why did this have to happen to me”? I never said so, but I always thought, why NOT you? You’re no better than anybody else. You did the right thing by remaining silent and letting your friend find comfort wherever possible. But it does make one want to say, “If your god created everything, then why did he create cancer in the first place?” At age 62, in 2005, I suffered from severe pancreatitis and in 15 years I’ve never once wondered why me. My mantra has always been, “lt is what it is.” No more and no less. I just deal with the pain on a daily basis as best I can.

Because religion is a fascistic master race ideology, whose followers expect to be favoured by their God/leader and are infuriated when "clerical errors" occur in favour of the profane heathen.

I wish religious people could understand this: If you believe this nonsense nothing makes sense. Does your friend think there's a god up there that determines who gets sick and who doesn't? Why would He do that?

The son of a gun! If I don't believe utter nonsense then I have to live a life of pain and suffering.

Maybe what you think is “the look” is just in your imagination.

You're a kind empathic friend to be there for her without judgement. 🥲

I am sad for her, of course. But her belief comforts her. Let her be. If she has cancer in far too many cases the medical treatment she will receive won't do much more, if anything, than prayer. Other than cost a lot. At least prayer is free.

Having worked at a Hospital for a number of years I know the look...not the accusatory look but the scared look...the look of someone that doesn't understand why "this thing" happened to them...i would constantly hear, "the Lord has chosen you...it is your time"...little comfort to someone who was perfectly healthy until some illness ... Some cancer afflicts them...one could offer such an easy rebuttal like, "if your God was so Loving and Merciful then why didn't they just die in their sleep?" But a logical conclusion would have to be drawn and that would shatter the very foundation of Christianity..." Man was condemned to suffer because God's Creation was imperfect" ... Never God's fault is it? ... Never the fault of the creator ... God is PERFECT yet he creates IMPERFECT beings ... God is WITHOUT SIN...WITHOUT EVIL...yet he created Lucifer...where did THAT DNA come from? Rational thought tells us the whole thing is a creation of man's imagination...his dark imagination for many parts. Humanities only hope is that we continue to focus on what is real and continue to reject the fantasy.

That look? It's a look of despair! Why would you think she would wish bad things on you? That look? You think you can read minds? That's no better than believing in Jesus. Would you want her to think "that look" of sympathy on your face was you thinking 'it's better her than me'?

Very sad. I can't say I've seen that look, which I'm now very thankful for. Best wishes to your friend.