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Incest: Immoral or Moral?

I was asked this question today by a theist. If there is no God why is safe sex between brother and sister immoral to an atheist? This guy was smart to add safe sex because it closed off my avenue to argue the health issue. So, I was thinking why is it immoral if it is consensual? I understand we find it gross but is that because of Christian influence?

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  • 79 votes
paul1967 8 Oct 12
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314 comments (26 - 50)

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7

As long as it's consensual on both sides and they're the same age and using protection I honestly can't think of any reason why not, other than "eww". But that's not exactly a concrete basis to form our mortality around.

Ariel Level 4 Nov 16, 2017

Ha I get that. But hey, who's it hurting? I feel like things are only truly crimes if there exists a victim. That's not to say I wouldn't still judge personally of course.

Thank-you cuz all i could come up with is ewwwwww!

5

I would vote 'amoral'. In some cultures, brother/sister incest in the royal family was require to keep the blood line pure (Egypt and Hawaii are examples). This of course, assumed there would be -- and even encouraged offspring.
It is really only very recently that fertility could be sufficiently controlled that a child would not result from a sexual relationship (given almost perfect contraception and the option of a medically safe abortion). In that case, the original basis for making incest taboo -- the probability of genetically undesirable characteristics appearing -- no longer holds.
In our society, incest is not uncommon, the most common being sibling incest. This form is not associated with nearly as much mental health damage as is parent/child incest because with siblings there is very seldom the power differential or the coercion seen in other forms. In fact in many cases the participants identify the relationship as consensual.
To follow the logic, then, if there will be no offspring and there is no coercion (physical or emotional), then it probably follows that it's difficult to make a case against it. (I will admit it still makes me uneasy, and I cannot identify the basis of this discomfort.)

actually there is often a great deal of trauma involved in sibling relations. Anyone who has grown up with brothers and sisters knows all to well the power differentiation and coercion of a sibling just two yrs senior, let alone 5 yrs.

There are other biological indications that incest is not intended in the evolutionary process. Did you know a girl is likely to defer onset of her period if she lives with her father. On the other hand if she lives with a stepfather she is likely to start her periods early (a potential genetically compatible mate)

Today's birth control methods , while good , are not 100% effective , but most especially so , if one member wants to have babies , and tampers with the control methods .

@MsDemeanour sounds very interesting. Do you have a good source you could share?

1

I would say that the act itself is not really moral or immoral in and of itself, however, the production of offspring from such a union is not to be encouraged. The children would be more likely to have or spread genetic disease and would weaken the overall genetic diversity and strength of the human species.

@NFAguy53 it takes multiple generations of inbreeding for serious abnormalities to manifest. Perhaps this guys parents and/or grandparents were also closely related? Or they were just stupid people in the first place. I don't personally know anyone who has married a close relative. You apparently know two pair. It must be more common where you are from. (My mom is from Arkansas, and my dad, from Texas.)

4

No vote from me, because "it depends". "Is incest [im]moral" is really the wrong question. The real question is, are the parties involved able to give informed consent and is there a reasonably balanced power dynamic?

In the case of two consenting adults of similar age, the fact that they're siblings is at least arguably irrelevant. There are some peripheral questions of genetics for any children coming from the union, though they are not as concerning as most people seem to think -- we allow people with birth defects to marry even though they may pass those issues onto their children, and the reality is that if there are no defective genes already present, the risk of genetic defects in sibling's children is the same as for anyone else. Then there is some question, if they were actually raised together, how it is that the natural taboo against being sexual with a sibling was overcome. But in principle, what two consenting adults -- sibling or not -- do in bed is no one's business but their own.

Almost any other configuration of incest is morally repugnant because either one or both parties can't give informed consent because they are too young and unformed, or, the power dynamic is wildly out of whack (e.g., I can't see any way it can be mentally healthy and savory for a [step]parent and child to have a sexual relationship, even if they're both adults). That sort of incest is incompatible with the normal functioning of the relationships and responsibilities within a family.

I agree completely.

What an informed response you provide. Thank you.

3

Sex within a family system between siblings is neither moral nor immoral. It's damaging and psychologically harmful.

@RobLawrence Typically, this interaction happens when an adult pedophile sexually abuses a child. That is definitely damaging and psychologically harmful.

1

Moral and immoral seem to be judgements handed down by the church. Sex between 2 consenting adults is no one elses business.

If that be your opinion then I feel sorry for both you and any future generations that hold to your principles for most surely there will be some possibly horrific malformations/deformities occurring in your genetic lines of the future.

@Triphid who said anything about procreation?

@Ktruin Well, unless precautions such as a Vasectomy for the males and a total Hysterectomy for the female are undertaken prior to any sexual relations taking place, somewhere sometime and somehow Nature will have its own way and suddenly procreation has become a reality.

0

you forgot "neither". not every action in the world is one or the other, some are not a question of morality.

is it moral or immoral to tie your left shoe first?

I do not view it as an issue of morality. As at least one comment pointed out, it's an evolved trait that makes us feel that way about it. it is not an issue of "morality", it's an issue of internal mechanisms that make us feel squeamish about it. and the reason that evolved should be plain to see in any heavily inbred community.

Well, when I first started school back in 1959 there was still that archaic ' push' ( religion based of course) that left-handed people MUST be FORCED at all costs to become Right-Handed.
I've lost count of the numbers of knuckles that I had from Teachers wielding wooden rulers fitted with thin metal strips in the edges of them that they repeatedly lashed my knuckles because I refused and was unable to learn to write with my right hand.
I still have, somewhere stored away, a letter sent home by one particular Teacher, a True Dragon-Lady in every way, shape and almost form btw, to my Dad stating that " Your child is little more than a terrible, sinful, sinister Imp of the Devil himself because he resists our kindly(????) efforts to help him mend his defective ways."
Later I found that the word ' sinister' was derived from the Latin - sinistera/sinisterii meaning anything LEFT of the normal ( recto - RIGHT, socially acceptable, etc, etc,) and that Catholicism had altered the meanings to imply that ' sinister' should mean ' sinful,' evil,' or ' in league with the forces of Evil.'
Guess what, I'm still left-handed when writing and using various tools, etc.
So, YES, tying your left shoe first was once classed as being an Immoral person and should religion ever get its way as it once had, we may, very sadly, see the old attitudes rear their ugly, disgusting heads once more.

@Triphid I'm left handed too and I was never subjected to that kind of abuse (I went to grade school in the 1970s and 80s). I have never read anything in the Bible condemning left-handed people either.

@DaleHusband_HS But you went to ' Grade School in America I presume whereas I went to Primary School ( Grade School) in Australia in the late 50s and early 70s.
In the ORIGINAL transcription of the Goat-Herders Guide to the Galaxy, aka the bible, you will a passage in Exodus ( Chpt. 2, verse 11 if memory serves me correct) that states, " Thou shalt smite off the hands and heads of those whom with their sinister ( left) hands cannot change to the ways that are those the Lord, thy God and be of the Recto ( right) handed ones."

0

WTF??

WTF? What? I don't understand?

@paul1967 I think she is saying she is against it LOL. I would ask her but her profile says if you are not a level four she will block you. WTF? That doesn't sound like anyone I'm interested in communicating with.

1

I think it's fine if it's between two CONSENTING ADULTS and no children are conceived from it.
Some people may find it gross but they're not the ones participating.
I bet the people who have the biggest problem with this are also against homosexuality and same sex marriage.

I imagine you're right about what you said about women not agreeing, but that is the difference between what is legal and what is actually practiced.

2

can i vote for weird

LMAO - I'll put you down for a write-in for weird.......Done got it

3

Ironically, in the Biblical worldview, incest is not only acceptable but is the very way in which our species has survived - twice. Adam and Eve, then Noah and his happy little family. Disregard the fact that such a situation is biologically impossible. Anyway, back to the real world.

Incest itself is neither moral nor immoral. It would be immoral for children to come from such a relationship, because inbred children have a very high chance of being born with a genetic disorder. However, incest itself is no more moral nor immoral than gay, lesbian, anal, oral sex or all the other kinky categories one can find on Pornhub.

People keep saying that it's not immoral or moral. I would say gay sex is moral because it's two people enjoying a sexual act. Doesn't everything land in one of those two camps? At the very least if we say something isn't wrong isn't that the same as saying it's moral? Isn't morality a description of things wrong or not wrong? I open to being shown that I'm wrong.

3

First, a Christian has no way to oppose incest because it is practiced quite a bit in their religion. Second, it might not be moral or immoral. Third, in the vast majority of cases I guess it would be immoral because of the family dynamics involved. Fourth, consider the strongest case of sibling incest that might be not immoral, two people who do not know each other at all and never find out they are siblings. In that case, I don't know. Fifth, safe sex doesn't mean no pregnancies. It is difficult to not have revulsion for the idea.

I like this answer because of how impossible it is to follow due to spelling and grammatical issues , good work! Made me laugh for a bit.

5

I find this hard to vote for one way or the other. Incest may be an emotionally safe scenario if there's no power-play going on, as siblings know each other well and (if raised well) have healthy trust for each other. On the flip side, there is SUCH a stigma attached to it, their lives would be devastated if found out. Why risk it? So, I can't make a moral judgement, as I think that is a false dichotomy based on an outmoded value system. I think what I'm saying is that morals are a construct that can be good or bad.

(...see what I did there???) 😉

I have to tell you that I like the way your brain works and even better the way you express your thought verbally. I do disagree on this point. The fact that society stigmatizes incest doesn't impact the question of is it moral. The issue should read, is it moral to you? I personally think it's unquestionably moral and very unadvisable. When I say it's moral I'm not implying good I'm saying it's not bad and my assessment of what is moral or immoral is based on is it Bad? Or not bad. I don't use, is it Good or bad because something that is moral doesn't necessarily mean it's good or advisable.

Ill make the moral judgement. One person has gone ftom bathing and feeding and taking the other person to school, to fucking them, and its now a romantic relationship dynamic, controlled and defined by the "parent". There is no way for this not to be abuse.

Also, people are going "oh brother and sister is ok.." Really? Where's this? Alexandria in the 1st Century? (Ptolemies like Eurgetes "potbelly" or Chickpea were reviled and openly mocked as inbred degenerates, which was true) or Caligula's Brothel palace? He would make everyone swear loyalty oaths on his sisters names to put that they were fucking in people's faces, specifically to offend thier senses of morality, and it got him assassinated. cassius Caerea cited "Degeneracy" as a valid reason, and proof he was a lunatic.

4

There should be a third option..like depends. Because if people were separated for years through adoption or father was a sperm donor..if they somehow found one another and started a relationship..only to find out later on they were related..how can we as a society deny them when they were not aware of the relation? If two men and two woman either twins or brothers and sisters close in age start fool around..its taboo and morally wrong but if god does not exist like most of us believe..how is anything immoral? Who makes these rules? As long as you are not causing harm to others who cares what someone does. So I guess incest is fine in my book within reason..appropriate ages..and situations..and 100% safe sex so children can not be spawned from such actions.

If its first generation brother sister the deformity rate is still relatively low. It when generations keep doing it that causes health risks

Also, parent and child relations is a lot more likely to cause problems than between siblings.

0

it is vastly immoral, the example given isn't too frowned upon, but flip it and say its a 7yr old girl or boy against their dad or mum, what can they do but do what is said and cry about it because they're told no one will believe them because they're a child. And in some countries incest is seen as the butt of a joke, not a serious issue that ruins the lifes and innocents of many children way into their own adulthood.

What you have described here is child abuse, aggressive manipulation of unwitting victims. This is rape, not consenting sex between people who understand what they are doing, It is not the only form of incestuous relationship, nor would such behavior be acceptable in any of the modern/western societies. However, there is a culture in which the daughter's first sexual experience is with her father, and in that culture it is not only accepted, it is part of community life. There are other cultures with interesting sexual behaviors that might turn the head of the average westerner, but are part and parcel of everyday life.

That would be considered child molestation, incest or not.

1

How is this even a fucking question? NO it is not okay to fuck your kids!!! We don't need an invisible man to have a moral code.

yeah, the question was siblings.

Still, incest is not okay, It's abuse and hurtful, and how is that even a question. All the same objections!

2

It is an Ethics issue. That is just not good for Civilized people to be doing.

Well, the Egyptians were civilized. The British were civilized. The French were civilized.

I don't think he said that civilized people DON'T do it, I think he just said it's not GOOD for them. I think he is wrong, but he is entitled to his opinion.

2

Two non-religious issues with incest, as I see it:

  1. The potential for genetic problems in any offspring produced.
  2. The possibility of parents or older siblings grooming children for sexual activity. Consider a father raising his daughter to be his sexual partner the day she's legally old enough to consent, and this being perfectly acceptable in law.

The former, I will leave to science. The latter is a violation of the kind of trust that a child should be able to place in close family.

I find it rather tragic when two people meet, become romantically involved, and then discover that they're related closely enough to make their relationship incestuous. There has been no grooming at that point. Just a twist of fate that made their relationship unacceptable.

What's particularly interesting is where the boundaries lie. In the UK, for example, sex with a first cousin is perfectly legal. Elsewhere in the world, it's considered incestuous, and carries the same legal consequences and moral outrage as a parent and child or a pair of siblings.

The parent and the child is a very good point considering a child being raised for the purpose loses the ability to consent due to power imbalance. I did not consider that.

Sex without informed consent from both parties on an equal playing field is rape.

It's an attitude that has cost me a few opportunities, but I believe it has also avoided a lot of regrets.

A couple of my cousins are cute, I have no sister, I doubt my brother would be up for it even if I was.

Condoms are only 98% effective at preventing pregnancy, and while my sex drive is slowing down a bit, and a partner is only fertile some of the time. Safe sex is just a phrase for less risky sex.

0

well the biggest concern is health . is it safe ? if pregnancy occurs what are the odds the child has some sort of defect ? you have to think of the child being born as well the torment hes going to endure when his peers find out . as times change maybe itll be more accepted and safer. as of now its not safe ( someone pls correct me if wrong ) and it issnt accepted ( think about what his peers will think ) . as of right now i can't agree with it exspecially the health hazzards

But the question was phrased to rule out genetics, just to ask an opinion on the morality of the act.

@Benmonk

Safe sex does not rule out the possibility of offspring, is the problem with the question as phrased.

1

Do 3rd cousins count?

If you think it does then, it does.

@paul1967 Then I'm good.🙂

2

How any one can find their own sibling sexually attractive is beyond me. My family is NOT a sexual environment I seek out.

EMC2 Level 8 Apr 9, 2018

Look at president Trump how he goes on about his daughter. So it might be beyond you but...

@PontifexMarximus Oh yes I agree. But I am saying that to have that desire is not an issue of morality, it is a perversion

3

Morality or immorality is a human question and as such, incest per se is not immoral, but society has decreed (with some good reasons) it to be immoral. I am a product of my society.

It's like anything else: if society deems it acceptable, it is. But if it's not acceptable, when it happens, even if consensual, it can cause severe traumatic and psychological distress, especially because it is a highly sensitive issue.

marga Level 7 Apr 11, 2018

Moral relativism is more easily understood in comparison to moral absolutism. Absolutism claims that morality relies on universal principles (natural law, conscience). Christian absolutists believe that God is the ultimate source of our common morality, and that it is, therefore, as unchanging as He is. Moral relativism asserts that morality is not based on any absolute standard. Rather, ethical “truths” depend on variables such as the situation, culture, one's feelings, etc.

I have to disagree that if a society sees some thing as acceptable, then it is.
Western society deemed slavery as acceptable. It wasn't.
Some arab countries believe it acceptable to prevent women from driving or stone them for adultery - it isn't.

2

I find it funny that people tend to forget the "why" of it in favor of some societal ingrained disgust.
I ponder a world where the tables are turned & its unhealthy to out breed, sex out of family would mindlessly be considered reprehensible.

“I’m sorry honey, but I’m booked for the night with our daughters.” That’s sounds just mildly repulsive.

In that world the daughters would be the honey & outsiders more than mildly repulsive.

4

Morality is not a religious concept. It is derived from an evolutionary need for human survival. Incestuous relationships are counterproductive in that they do not provide healthy genetic offspring. Incest is immoral.

Incest only becomes a problem, after multiple instances in a family tree. It was common in royal families. If there is no history of incest in a family, and I'm sure that family's particular set of gene flaws is also a factor, there is unlikely going to be a problem.

@novoxguy You're saying incest is not a problem UNTIL genetic deformities occurr. Incest is a problem to the gene pool at the beginning of the behavior. Royalty married one another. Yes. Marrying first cousins was common also. In early roman society incest was rampant among the powerful. The fact remains that because of genetic anomalies, incest became "immoral". However, the "kind" of immorality is still associated with biologic and evolutionary needs.

0

For too long now Governments, The Church and society in general have just been obsessed... absolutely obsessed with whom puts what part of their body in whom. If it's safe and mutually consensual - Butt the fuck out is my honest opinion.

Just like food... "The only people so obsessed with food are the anorexic and the morbidly obese, and so it is with the Church and sex" [nods to Stephen Fry]

@RobLawrence could be

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