This is mostly directed towards women. This question is inspired by these "rent a boyfriends" and "rent a friend/family" in Japan. I know that most will think it weird, because what kind of loser does a person have to be to "rent" companionship, especially if you're a woman. ESPECIALLY when the long held belief is that by nature of our gender, it's "easier" for women to date than men. It is, but it's not always safe, and it's not always easy when you're someone like me: big, black and not conventionally attractive. Not to mention, clinically anxious and depressed, awkward and not as socially inclined because you can't trust anyone because you have gotten burned constantly by people you thought were friends. Anyway, I know this concept screams "gigolo", but I don't want to sleep with the guy - I just want an age appropriate, educated, funny, caring, and affectionate guy to go to movies, museums, concerts, have drinks, maybe clubbing or just a night in with some weed, Netflix and snacks. Someone classy and urbane, but down to earth as well. I know that I can ~get that for free~, but assuming every thing would be ideal, I'd be the one in control because I paid for his time. No bullshit that comes with dating normal guys. Yeah, I know I'm pathetic but I'm pushing 40, and with some shallow people, it's either time to be put out to pasture or put in that order for 25 cats. I know some people will assume that I can just stroll out the door and shake people's hands with eye contact, but again - I'm socially awkward, mentally ill, fat, dark skinned and with resting bitch face.
I'm pushing 62 and I would no more pay a man for a date than I would drink kerosene. If all you want is an age appropriate, educated, funny, caring, and affectionate friend to go to movies, museums, concerts, have drinks, maybe clubbing or just a night in with some weed, Netflix and snacks; why does it have to be a guy? Platonic negates a need for gender. And if it is truly affection from a man that you want, paying a man to feign it would be a waste of your money.
Also, I looked at your pics on your profile. Lovely eyes and a lovely, welcoming smile. Attractive! You don't look like someone who should have to pay to be loved at all! You are young and beautiful, and all you need is a healthy dose of self confidence. Wish I could package that up and mail it to you, honey.
I hope you are seeking therapy to change your self esteem issues and other disorders that limit your social interactions. Only then will things change for you and your outlook. As for paying for company...I wouldn't be happy spending ANY amount of time with someone knowing that they were not there by choice (being in my company for money) and for me it would be a waste of my time and money. Perhaps you can find some groups locally, or online, with other socially awkward friends and try to change your mindset. I was in a similar frame of mind some years ago and with some therapy and a shift in how my brain perceived reality, I turned my life and happiness around. The more you can push yourself to get 'out there' the easier it will become. Good luck to you.
I sincerely think you are a lot more attractive than you believe! Self esteem issues perhaps? I was just thinking, it's not entirely unheard of in the US to have paid companions. I've been hired more than once as a companion to an elderly or very disabled person. I would also do a little tidying & make us lunch, but having someone to talk to & give them attention was very much needed by these people. I just haven't heard of young or able bodied people hiring someone to do this--although many of my housekeeping clients end up paying me for talking too!
It sounds like you don't even really want to "date" your hypothetical paid companion--you just want to hang out. If you pay someone for that it's nobody's business & I think you should try it. Maybe even tell them that you want to work on social skills & ask for a little gentle feed back.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do!
Ummm, paying someone to be with you is using an "escort service" and has been around since the beginning of time. Paying someone to have sex with you is called "hiring a whore/gigolo" and also been around awhile. Why do you feel this is news?
And "putting me out to pasture"??
I just turned 70 and now have the best boyfriend I have Ever had, turned down a 52-year old for him. WTF are you babbling about?
I just went and looked at your profile. Lady, you're gorgeous!!!! I think you had another post from an earlier time where you also mentioned something about your looks as being unattractive. May be start bit by bit and stop self-sabotaging. I know how that is myself. I suffer from anxiety including social anxiety, and add OCD to that, so I have trouble with change, new people, even touching and being touched by people. I've become aware that I talk myself out of things and put self-doubt into my own head. I try to fix that one step at a time. You can do it. Or as some have said, may be look into therapy. That doesn't mean you can't hire a date if you want to. That's your choice.
I would definitely be open to the idea but I would try to exhaust all other options first. Have you looked into meetups in your area? If you have any hobbies that could be explored in a group setting, that might be a good, low pressure way to start putting yourself out there. Many people are socially awkward so don't be too hard on yourself about that. I looked at your profile and think you're quite stunning. Try to understand that most people don't see us the way we see ourselves.
For once in awhile, as a nice treat for yourself, and you can find a reliable safe source for paid dates (I wouldn't even know what to call that), I say go for it. Men get escorts to look pretty on their arms all the time and no one cares (well, not no one may be but it's more acceptable). Would I do it? Probably not. But I wouldn't judge anyone who wants to do it.
Actually, men have been trained to "pay" women to date them from way back. Women accept it as how it's done, even wheedle for things from their boyfriends. Women are becoming equal. They could switch and "pay" men to date them and give the men gifts as they have for women, always. Remember the trope: Men give security for sex; Women give sex for security. Isn't it about time that is not necessary? After that, payment could be a business deal.
You are NOT pathetic. You are in a certain situation, as we all are; you have a want, and an intelligent way to fulfill it. It is unconventional and you are using your brain to make the choice rather than follow a whim. If you can afford to pay for something that makes you happy and does not hurt anyone else, go for it.
..Reading other commenters, it is true that you may be wrong about your situation. Maybe there are better options; maybe you are more able to get what you want and need without spending money.
But that is for you to figure out.
Best of luck.
Well...there at the end, you brought the wrath of ugly, down upon you! I am floored! If all else fails...go mingle among the ugly people! Lol!!! In all seriousness, your kind of mental illness for starters is treatable! Unless you are just pulling our leg? And on the ugly part...over my life time, I have seen some pretty ugly people who were seemingly happy and even married for long years! So that should not be the gauge that you use, to find your happiness! And, you can learn to make your ‘particular look,’ exotic! I love exotic looks and they are not the classic kind of beauty! And, lastly but most important... find out what nurtures you and allows you to feel joy! And, spend a fair amount of time on them, so that you develop a life that works for you! You will be forced to spend time on hard ‘life issues,’ like everyone else! ‘Change your mind (thinking) and change your life!’ Over my lifetime..,I see that this works and there is no reason that it can’t work for you! Best of luck!