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Would you pay someone to date you?

This is mostly directed towards women. This question is inspired by these "rent a boyfriends" and "rent a friend/family" in Japan. I know that most will think it weird, because what kind of loser does a person have to be to "rent" companionship, especially if you're a woman. ESPECIALLY when the long held belief is that by nature of our gender, it's "easier" for women to date than men. It is, but it's not always safe, and it's not always easy when you're someone like me: big, black and not conventionally attractive. Not to mention, clinically anxious and depressed, awkward and not as socially inclined because you can't trust anyone because you have gotten burned constantly by people you thought were friends. Anyway, I know this concept screams "gigolo", but I don't want to sleep with the guy - I just want an age appropriate, educated, funny, caring, and affectionate guy to go to movies, museums, concerts, have drinks, maybe clubbing or just a night in with some weed, Netflix and snacks. Someone classy and urbane, but down to earth as well. I know that I can ~get that for free~, but assuming every thing would be ideal, I'd be the one in control because I paid for his time. No bullshit that comes with dating normal guys. Yeah, I know I'm pathetic but I'm pushing 40, and with some shallow people, it's either time to be put out to pasture or put in that order for 25 cats. I know some people will assume that I can just stroll out the door and shake people's hands with eye contact, but again - I'm socially awkward, mentally ill, fat, dark skinned and with resting bitch face.

Stepmomofdragons 7 Sep 12

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IF you learn to cook well, smoke good weed, and give a decent handjob then there's no reason to pay. Many a male would gladly spend his time with you because in the end that's all they are looking for.

Good grief, why would any woman want to be saddled with that in exchange for just a man's presence? Sounds like volunteering for extra chores to me!

@Deb57 I agree with you. I have no need or desire for any of that crap.


Ladies, you're in luck! I'm offering a special rate for the month of September; 10%off through Groupon and buy 2 dates and you get the third date at 1/2 off! Get me while supplies last!!!

You're a hoot. I might buy you a drink.

Why can't everyone see it with sense of humor like you, beats me. Hilarious answer dude !! ??


I'm pushing 62 and I would no more pay a man for a date than I would drink kerosene. If all you want is an age appropriate, educated, funny, caring, and affectionate friend to go to movies, museums, concerts, have drinks, maybe clubbing or just a night in with some weed, Netflix and snacks; why does it have to be a guy? Platonic negates a need for gender. And if it is truly affection from a man that you want, paying a man to feign it would be a waste of your money.

Also, I looked at your pics on your profile. Lovely eyes and a lovely, welcoming smile. Attractive! You don't look like someone who should have to pay to be loved at all! You are young and beautiful, and all you need is a healthy dose of self confidence. Wish I could package that up and mail it to you, honey.

Deb57 Level 8 Sep 12, 2018

I am educated, funny, caring, affectionate, classy and urbane. Any offers?
PS. not to mention witty, creative and a great lover (should that be called for)

Just curious , How would that work ? Is there an hourly rate ? Does your paid time begin at your place or do you meet at an agreed upon site and your paid time begins there ? Do you dress for a predesignated destination ? Are there separate charges for that ? "Asking for a friend ."

@Cast1es If you pay my travel expenses, we can work it out from there.


I hope you are seeking therapy to change your self esteem issues and other disorders that limit your social interactions. Only then will things change for you and your outlook. As for paying for company...I wouldn't be happy spending ANY amount of time with someone knowing that they were not there by choice (being in my company for money) and for me it would be a waste of my time and money. Perhaps you can find some groups locally, or online, with other socially awkward friends and try to change your mindset. I was in a similar frame of mind some years ago and with some therapy and a shift in how my brain perceived reality, I turned my life and happiness around. The more you can push yourself to get 'out there' the easier it will become. Good luck to you.

I couldn't agree more. I do miss having a woman in my life, but not at the expense of my own happiness and peace.


I sincerely think you are a lot more attractive than you believe! Self esteem issues perhaps? I was just thinking, it's not entirely unheard of in the US to have paid companions. I've been hired more than once as a companion to an elderly or very disabled person. I would also do a little tidying & make us lunch, but having someone to talk to & give them attention was very much needed by these people. I just haven't heard of young or able bodied people hiring someone to do this--although many of my housekeeping clients end up paying me for talking too!

It sounds like you don't even really want to "date" your hypothetical paid companion--you just want to hang out. If you pay someone for that it's nobody's business & I think you should try it. Maybe even tell them that you want to work on social skills & ask for a little gentle feed back.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

Carin Level 8 Oct 23, 2018

I don't think I could. I would end up becoming attached to someone that only had a monetary interest in me. I don't think that would feel very good in the long run.

You know, I bet that would happen to me too.


Ummm, paying someone to be with you is using an "escort service" and has been around since the beginning of time. Paying someone to have sex with you is called "hiring a whore/gigolo" and also been around awhile. Why do you feel this is news?
And "putting me out to pasture"??
I just turned 70 and now have the best boyfriend I have Ever had, turned down a 52-year old for him. WTF are you babbling about?


That's a really interesting question. I probably wouldn't because I'm cheap but not because there's no appeal in the idea. I think it's the aspect of not having to deal with all the signal reading and drama that feels so appealing.


I just went and looked at your profile. Lady, you're gorgeous!!!! I think you had another post from an earlier time where you also mentioned something about your looks as being unattractive. May be start bit by bit and stop self-sabotaging. I know how that is myself. I suffer from anxiety including social anxiety, and add OCD to that, so I have trouble with change, new people, even touching and being touched by people. I've become aware that I talk myself out of things and put self-doubt into my own head. I try to fix that one step at a time. You can do it. Or as some have said, may be look into therapy. That doesn't mean you can't hire a date if you want to. That's your choice.


Serious answer, therapy to deal with social anxiety and self esteem. Flip answer, there are people who love your look. Put it to good use!


I would definitely be open to the idea but I would try to exhaust all other options first. Have you looked into meetups in your area? If you have any hobbies that could be explored in a group setting, that might be a good, low pressure way to start putting yourself out there. Many people are socially awkward so don't be too hard on yourself about that. I looked at your profile and think you're quite stunning. Try to understand that most people don't see us the way we see ourselves.


If someone needs this particular kind of companionship go for it. Just be careful. Lots of creeps out there, unpaid and paid.


For once in awhile, as a nice treat for yourself, and you can find a reliable safe source for paid dates (I wouldn't even know what to call that), I say go for it. Men get escorts to look pretty on their arms all the time and no one cares (well, not no one may be but it's more acceptable). Would I do it? Probably not. But I wouldn't judge anyone who wants to do it.

@Stepmomofdragons can, but do you want that? That is the big question that can only be answered by you!

@Stepmomofdragons It is your decision ultimately. People will judge no matter what. Do what you feel is right for you.


No fuckin way-I've had men lie to me about owning companies and ended up supporting them and their children. Rent a Man. Craziest Idea Ever


Nope, I rather be alone. Nothing wrong if it works for others.


How about just calling some guy you know and say,

How about dinner/movie etc.? My treat.


Does the boyfriend come with heavy furniture moving abilities? Then I would rent one.😉

I work for pizza, also available for back and foot massage.

I would rather date you and pay a moving company.

Very good. Reminds me of a very old joke:

Lovely woman approaches man in the street and says, "Hey babe, I'll do anything you like for a hundred bucks." The man's face lights up and he quickly pulls out his wallet and says, "Deal! Now paint my house."


The way it usually works out for me is that I pay people to leave. Sometimes you have to do that. You may regret it later, or you may not. It can go either way.


I wonder if it's terrible that my first thought upon reading the title was "Donald Trump!".

Though, that was less dating and more hands on involvement with something that allegedly is quite mushroom like.

Please forgive me.


Actually, men have been trained to "pay" women to date them from way back. Women accept it as how it's done, even wheedle for things from their boyfriends. Women are becoming equal. They could switch and "pay" men to date them and give the men gifts as they have for women, always. Remember the trope: Men give security for sex; Women give sex for security. Isn't it about time that is not necessary? After that, payment could be a business deal.


That would be a no from me.


I don't have to pay someone to date me. I can pretty much get a date whenever I want by announcing I have free time & a desire. The question is, are they worth my time?


If both of the parts agree with the deal and are true to it, why not?


You are NOT pathetic. You are in a certain situation, as we all are; you have a want, and an intelligent way to fulfill it. It is unconventional and you are using your brain to make the choice rather than follow a whim. If you can afford to pay for something that makes you happy and does not hurt anyone else, go for it.

..Reading other commenters, it is true that you may be wrong about your situation. Maybe there are better options; maybe you are more able to get what you want and need without spending money.

But that is for you to figure out.

Best of luck.

Wow, I was the only Yes vote, at least the two pages I read 😀 well this is what feminism is all about. Choices. Men do this all the time.


Well...there at the end, you brought the wrath of ugly, down upon you! I am floored! If all else fails...go mingle among the ugly people! Lol!!! In all seriousness, your kind of mental illness for starters is treatable! Unless you are just pulling our leg? And on the ugly part...over my life time, I have seen some pretty ugly people who were seemingly happy and even married for long years! So that should not be the gauge that you use, to find your happiness! And, you can learn to make your ‘particular look,’ exotic! I love exotic looks and they are not the classic kind of beauty! And, lastly but most important... find out what nurtures you and allows you to feel joy! And, spend a fair amount of time on them, so that you develop a life that works for you! You will be forced to spend time on hard ‘life issues,’ like everyone else! ‘Change your mind (thinking) and change your life!’ Over my lifetime..,I see that this works and there is no reason that it can’t work for you! Best of luck!

@jorj well, I appreciate that!

@jorj yes, sometimes it takes some people longer than others to find that out! And, that is a real shame! Sometimes...a misspent youth!

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