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Personal maintenance to look decent increases as we get older

Before age 40, I only wore lipstick and powdered my nose. Hate foundation and never used it.

Ten years ago, my hairstylist convinced me to start using under-eye concealer and eyeliner. Now 65, I added eyebrow pencil to my morning routine. Fuuuk!

I just want to run errands and go to the gym. Living in a small town, if I skip it, I'll run into people I know and feel embarrassed.

Saying hello, I remove sunglasses for eye contact. Don't want to scare people.

I won't get into nostril hairs. Twice a week, I examine my face in a magnifying mirror with a strong flashlight and tweezers at hand. Takes nerves of steel.

If I stopped exercise, sunscreen, moisturizer, hair color and maintenance, I'll look like a bag lady. Grizzled white hair and eyebrows, protruding nostril hairs, wrinkles, flab...

Might as well turn into a mini-Sasquatch and disappear into the mountains.

This photo was taken three years ago after running. I prefer a natural look.

Your thoughts, guys and gals?

LiterateHiker 9 June 2
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43 comments

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1

I wear concealer now (acne prone skin blegh) and eyebrow liner because I like for my eyebrows to look thicker. I'd say you got away with being VERY minimalist under 40 compared to how many under 40s are right now. I think society has conditioned us to believe that womens' value rests on our appearance and this message is just further reinforced by our daily interactions with other men/women, who seem more interested the better we look. It is a shitty aspect of socialization women endure and makes aging harder for us in some respects. This looks nice too. Not like a bag lady AT ALL.

@demifeministgal

This photo was taken a week ago.

@LiterateHiker It's a bit of an old post, I will need to re-read it for a refresher 😳

8

You look just fine.

I quit wearing makeup in my 20s. For the longest time, I only wore it for "special"
occasions.
I quit wearing it altogether in my 40s.
I've got the odd lipgloss stick in my purse, and I think I may still have some
bronzer tucked away somewhere.
The only thing I've regularly worn on my face is moisturizer (since my teens), and
sunscreen.
I've never been terribly concerned with what other people think of my looks.
I am one of the least girly-girls around.

7

First off you look great. I am going to take issue with this though. Why is being in public without trying to look younger "looking like a bag lady"??? There is no reason women should be expected to be anything other than clean and neat to look presentable. I absolutely DETEST the mindset that women must wear make-up, be a certain weight, have a certain hair color etc, etc, ad nauseum. If you like doing all that to look good awesome but it should never be a requirement.

7

Natural is good with as little artificial dressing as possible. Sold a bill of goods by a billion dollar a year industry insisting everyone needs to stay and look young. Sort of like religion, selling you something you don't need but you will get some kind of reward for buying in.

Thank you!!!!
I feel exactly the same way. Which is probably a large part of the reason I
stopped wearing makeup.
It's not remotely about having "given up". Not even close.
It's so much more about accepting myself for who I am and what I actually
look like, without adornments.
I have always taken care of my skin, and my hair.

It's never been about "not caring", but it's about not caring to participate
in some sort of artificial and spurious campaign to make women feel "less than" if they won't slap a bunch of crap on their faces to make themselves more attractive to men.
Fuck that. Fuck that straight to hell.

5

On the pressure on women to stay young by British author Caitlin Moran:

"So. Yes. We're all dying. We're all crumbling into the void, one cell at a time. We are disintegrating like sugar cubes in champagne. But only women have to pretend it isn't happening.

"Fifty-something men wander around with their guts flopped over their waistbands and their faces looking like a busted tramp's mattress in an underpass. They sprout nasal hair and chasm-like wrinkles, and go 'Ooof!' whenever they stand up or sit down.

Men visibly age, every day -- but women are supposed to stop the decline at around 37, 38, and live out the next 30 or 40 years in some magical bubble where their hair is still shiny and chestnut, their face unlined, their lips puffy, and their tits up on the top third of the ribcage."

-- Caitlin Moran in her hilarious book, “How to Be a Woman”

5

When I was much younger I had a crush on a woman in her mid 30's that had completely gray hair. I don't understand our obsession with hair color at all - then... I was speaking with a older woman that complained she had to compete for employment with women half her age and all the effort it took just to stay employed in a menial office job? Are we perpetuating a harmful stereotype?

@FrostyJim

Often gray-haired women are passed over by employers and dating prospects for younger-looking women.

My hair started going white at 40. I began coloring my hair to compete.

Decided I can be a feminist and color my hair.

4

You are quite lovely! Yes, there are upkeep items we all do as a baseline, but I applaude you for maintaining your natural beauty as better than layers of paint over botox. I still maintain that those of us who do so will be far better off when the long-term effects of popular cosmetic procedures come into play.

4

It’s too bad that you believe you have to be someone else to be accepted. The reason most people don’t look their age, is that they have make up caked on, hair dyed, facial hair removed or sculpted, plastic surgery, and all other kinds of cosmetic things going on. Be yourself. Love yourself. If your wrinkles, liver spots, chin hair, and greys scare people...fuck them. Don’t give in to the hype.

And you basically called me a Bag Lady, by implying those of us who stay natural are atrocious.
I’m 46 years old. And can not look anything, but 46 years old. And I’m proud of my wrinkles and chin hairs.

@Annaleda

"It’s too bad that you believe you have to be someone else to be accepted," you wrote

That's rude, judgmental and incorrect.

I like who I am: educated, intelligent. passionate, athletic, funny and caring. A loving mother, passionate hiker, Democrat and volunteer.

My boyfriend, Bill, MD, likes who I am, too. "You are my dream girl," he said recently.

@Annaleda

Saying I will turn into a bag lady was a joke. I was making fun of myself.

Where is your sense of humor?

Everyone is different. To each, his own.

@LiterateHiker
It wasn’t rude, judgmental, or incorrect.
It was truth as I see it, and that was all. If it wasn’t, you wouldn’t be posting on it in the first place. You’ve made more than one post about your looks/body. I’m just responding to your public posts.

And you might have been making a joke, about looking like a bag lady, but words have meaning, and inferring something transfers to other people. Maybe make use of emotes to show you are making a joke.

I’ll make a non-joke...I’m 46, grandmother of 3, and look 30. Seriously. Without makeup or other ‘beauty tricks’. Yay, DNA. Some of us have it, and some of us don’t.

4

Okay keeping the bizarre stray hairs to a minimum is a must - I agree.

PSA....
Also These ladies and gents is awesome😘 [amazon.com]
You can't cut yourself with these. They will get stray hairs*. Amazing!

But you don't "Have to" on any of the rest.

Both my parents went happily grey - a striking silver in both cases and got oodles of complements.

I'll get there in my time. With long hair to boot.

As for makeup? Sun protection. That's it's main value. (I noticed my older sister - just about your age - is really patchy with sun spots). So SPF or a base makeup will remain in my lineup. That or a hat. lol

But people understand a "Day off". And "running out to the store". Let them see you as is... maybe they'll surprise you!

@RavenCT

Your parents were married.

Often gray-haired women are passed over by employers and men for younger-looking women.

Excuse my ignorance, but wat the heck is base makeup? And is it expensive? heh

@demifeministgal base make up is also known as foundation - it's easy to find one with sun protection these days. 👍

@demifeministgal, @LiterateHiker both my parents had silver grey hair. Dyed hair in their day looked flat and brittle. (They were born in the 1920's my Mum had me at nearly 40 yo).

As she didn't work for pay after marriage? Work was never considered. Just her own and my Dad's preferences.

My sister returned to the office world in her late 50's with silver hair. No problem.
I think if you look presentable and put together? Not a problem.

Heck my Dad had a palm sized white spot on his head of dark hair from the time he was little! Hereditary apparently as his brother had it too. He never worried about it.

I've always colored my hair for me. For a change or a lift. 👍

@RavenCT Thanks for that. I don't use foundation but use concealer with acne medication in it. Perhaps I should be using some SPF moisturizer too. 😕 idk

@demifeministgal I had a friend who simply used a sunscreen meant for the face.

I'm so pale that a foundation with spf in it is a good thing (I burn easily). And my Mom who had a very different nose from mine had to have a skin cancer removed from her's. So I try to remember either foundation/ a hat/or both on really sun intensive days.

If it's gardening? It's the sunscreen which is sweat resistant.

It can be worth going to a real make up counter to get what you want. I don't like anything too heavy so I let the sales person know that. Bareminerals has a line of powders with SPF I used for years. It was barely detectable on. Now that I'm in my 50's I switched back to a liquid base.
Also Bareminerals.

But I've even used Almay which is sold at CVS and WalMart. (No idea what the formulation is these days - but it was never heavy).

Good luck - ask a few friends. Get some suggestions. And like I said go to a make up counter. They'll try it on you for free if you like.

@RavenCT MY friends all have different skin tones than me, some only slightly darker and other much darker. So any questions I had they would have no answers. None of my friends are pale ghosts like me. 😉 I am only in the sun when walking the few blocks to the subway station to stores or to the library. I am not sure if I have enough exposure to necessitate spf products. what do you think? 😕

@demifeministgal I didn't use to think so. And a hat might suffice? But I learned differently a while back. You'll look younger - longer if you use a sunblock.
Funky pigmentation things and skin damage creep up on everyone.
I usually require the palest shade available in a cosmetic line. And they do exist.
In fact I recently saw MaryKay came out with new foundations (more shades). That always makes me hopeful there might be one that matches me! lol

4

I think this is a loaded topic. If we allow the changes that occur naturally to our faces and bodies, we are 'giving up' or 'letting ourselves go'. But only if we're women. Men are considered more distinguished and attractive as they age, but not women. I don't dye my hair and only wear makeup on occasion. and then usually only eye liner and mascara. I can't let go of the societal norms. Why do we care whether we look our age? I was always told that all the artifice was to be appealing to men. Even though my conscious mind tells me it doesn't matter, part of me does care. I wish I didn't.

4

I hope I look half so good at 65.

4

You're adorable!

Self-care is important in our goal to look and feel great as we age. You're proof of that.

No wonder that young doctor likes you.😜🤗

@SleeplessInTexas

Thank you!

4

I rarely wear makeup anymore. I admit I color my hair but I am a natural blonde. Less time for me. I'm retired though.

4

It's a good look for you! Nice smile. I prefer natural-looking ladies rather than those who use too much makeup 🙂

Amen to that brother.

4

I think your attitude is what keeps you young...you are vibrant and keep abreast of what is going on in the world...you exercise and eat healthy for inside beauty that shows on the outside...

Maintenance is just saying that you still want to look presentable and that you care...so many give up or give in to sloppiness and appear slovenly...I think looking your best at any age is good for self-esteem which is then good for physical health...

You look terrific...and the best is your smile...genuine...it lights up your face and brings smiles to others.

3

Really, i guess as a guy it's different. The older I get the less I care what people think and I care less and less.

3

I think you're beautiful! You look healthy, happy, radiant.

3

I see no reason to gild the lily! I guess it depends on who you're trying to keep up with. I can grow more ear and nose hair than hair on top of my head. So, I trim the top close and trim the other away and the rest you can take it or leave it.

BillF Level 7 June 2, 2019
3

You pluck your nose hair? Oh man, get some nose hair scissors, it'll change your life for the better. Don't get me started on ear hair.

Jesus, I'm a freakin' koala.

@MrBeelzeebubbles

My thick hair grows fast, and not just on my head.

"Please trim my gorilla neck," I joke when getting a haircut.

I'm Half-Irish. What's your ethnic heritage?

@zeuser

Black hairs are migrating to my outer nostrils. Scissors won't work.

Here's WHY: After menopause, women experience a decline in estrogen and a proportional increase in testosterone.

My thick hair grows fast, and not just on my head.

@LiterateHiker British Mutt. English, Scottish, Welsh. I too am a great producer of keratin. Hair and nails are fairly prodigious, so I have a pretty much all over rug. Thankfully, shoulders and bum are still fairly light/fine in coverage.

@MrBeelzeebubbles

I'm half-Irish and English. A born storyteller.

3

Beautiful

Neenz Level 7 June 2, 2019
3

You look great just like that!

3

From other photos you have a physique that most teens would envy. You have a smile and attitudethat shines out to the world - and little wrinkles around your eyes that show you have lived a life. Whatever you are doing - it works

@ShadowAmicus

Thank you. A healthy lifestyle gets results.

Since age 21, I have been hiking, backpacking, running, weightlifting, cross-country skiing, etc. Endorphins are my drug of choice.

Also never smoked, avoid alcohol and eat an extremely healthy diet. Never touched soda pop.

My father died of colon cancer at age 51. I was 24. Immediately stopped eating cancer-causing, processed and preserved meats: chicken nuggets, bacon, sausage, jerky, pepperoni, etc. Don't miss it.

3

Oh just wear a trenchcoat and a Rosanne mask. You can scare us all equally.

3

I like women in their natural state. You don’t need makeup. You’re beautiful as you are...IMHO...and no, it’s not a pickup line 😉

3

You are on to something, I have found the same thing to be true! Just because we are older doesn’t mean that we need to turn into a prune! Neither a ‘glamour pus,’ either...that looks like a person doesn’t like how they have aged! Just a little of the right enhancing does wonders for older women! Men seem to come out better as they age, if they have paid attention to their overall health.

3

You look great! I so understand what you are saying. I look like a zombie when I don't wear makeup. Dark circles under my eyes, no eyelashes, thinning eyebrows, my hair is grey if I don't dye it. Sigh.....can't do natural, I am too vain.

@GreatNani

Love you, girl! You look fabulous.

@LiterateHiker awe thanks! Not doing too bad for 52. Just have to put more effort into it 🙂

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