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Have you ever had a frenemy?

"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer"

Have you ever been successful at this?

By silvereyes8
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72 comments

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0

I am nice to my ex so I can see my kids anytime I want. I don't hate her and have accepted she is who she is. However, I don't like her and I don't trust her. I don't know if that counts as a frenemy. It does make me a little two faced, which goes against my core principlas. But doing what is best for my kids and seeing them when I want is a higher priority.

Rudy1962 Level 9 Mar 25, 2018
16

Nope. For the sake of professionalism, I maintain cordial relations with the handful of coworkers and managers I don't especially like or respect, but I don't have the energy to carry that on beyond basic courtesy or into my personal life.

resserts Level 8 Mar 25, 2018
11

Have one now. Fortunately, I will likely never see him again. He's a trumpanzee and went off on me the last time we talked on the phone, called me all kinds of mean things. I'd loaned him a fairly large sum of money a few years back, and to his credit he's paid most of it back, but I am afraid I'm going to have to cut him loose, even though I'm probably one of his only friends. Don't care about the $$$, whether or not I'll ever get the rest of it; I'm just not inclined to put up with any more verbal abuse from the guy.

Condor5 Level 8 Mar 25, 2018

Hence the reason you were one of his only friends...Some people burn bridges with their anger, but can't or won't do enough self reflection to see they are the problem

This is why I never loan money and expect it back. If I can loan the money and they pay it back I get my money and a pleasant surprise, if not oh well.

@icolan that's how I see it.

@Rudy1962 besides all that, he's a "Christian". Some attitude for a "christian," huh?

@Condor5 well seems his God has a chip on his shoulder too smile001.gif

@SKDeitch At this point in my life I have even rejected attempts to pay back old loans. Someone I used to know and once loaned a few hundred buck to attempted to contact me through a mutual acquaintance, claiming to want to pay the money back. Fortunately, the acquaintance was aware of his current situation and I replied with "Nope, rather lose the money than allow that mess back into my life."

@icolan Similar thing here. That unpaid money makes them avoid me so it's money well spent LOL

8

I have a colleaguenemy. I have to tolerate her and coexist because I have to work with her for several hours a week, but I don't trust her one bit and make sure I watch my back.

Jnei Level 8 Mar 25, 2018
7

I have an aquaintemy. He's a friend of my roommate's, who is an unironic gay neo Nazi, and I'd like to send him on an emergency trip to the dentist's. That being said though, my roommate has been on and on about how few friends he has in this town, so I tolerate this guy hanging out at my place for his sake. I can't wait until my mortgage is up and I no longer need roommates to pay on this place.

Nebroxah Level 6 Mar 25, 2018

How can he be a gay neo-nazi, the cognitive dissonance must be blinding.

@icolan I'll tell you if I ever figure it out. Mostly he just takes his time on 4chan /pol/ way too seriously.

@Nebroxah I guess it has just never made sense to me to be involved in a group that actively opposes a fundamental part of who I am.

@icolan
Then there was the gay general who got caught playing with his privates...

7

I’m agnostic about the existance of enemies.

skado Level 8 Mar 25, 2018

Good answer.

6

Yes. Most of them covet what I have or who i'm with. It's easy to spot them soon enough. It's heartbreaking when you find someone in your family acting this way. smile010.gifsmile016.gif

5

I don't have the Frenergy.

Clever lol

5

I certainly have. People are just jealous by nature. It was frenemies that started nonsense between me and my ex wife and some of them do their best to get me to hate her to this day. People just cannot leave people alone. I absolutely do not like drama. I hate drama. Yet, I deal with and talk about drama every day. Why is there drama? People are jealous and they just cannot leave people alone.

DenoPenno Level 8 Mar 25, 2018

Drama. I hate it. One of the biggest reasons for the demise of my last relationship; she couldn't live without it, and I absolutely refused to get dragged in.

5

Probably. I see things that people do out of spite but I let it go and they usually get over pulling that sort of thing because they find it doesn't affect me much. Had that very issue crop up today. Unfortunately it does mean I don't really trust anyone fully.

4

I'm currently looking for one.
Maybe two.

Please send references.

4

Yes, but unfortunately they didn't start out that way.

bleurowz Level 8 Mar 25, 2018
4

Successful? No. Not really. The wheels fell off it, in very short order. Thankfully, the mutual friend fell out with her too, not long afterwards. The only reason I entertained her in the first place was because she and the mutual friend were joined at the hip, and I didn't want to lose the mutual friend.

4

I just severed ties with one. It might have been more like an acquaintance than a friend, we didn't have much in common other than bicycle riding. For the last yearsmile038.gif, he would bring out the liberal/conservative difference. He'd say, "Got a picture of your girlfriend (Hillary Clinton) over your bed?", or "Liberals are angry. They're just angry they lost the election", or "I hate liberals!" You can see how I just couldn't take any more. His "teasing" was more tormenting, than friendly banter.

He just sounds like a total idiot - you're definitely better off without him in your life!

I can't take all this political shit just under the surface. By brother, who I get along with, and see eye to eye politically can't even give it a rest. It is not only, his lense through which he not only sees the world, but also frames his conversation and becomes his personality.

4

I've not had someone say, "I hate you, and I'm gonna get you." I dislike being around bad people, in spite of the adage, "Keep your friends close, and frenimies closer." But, my future seems destined for political activism, and politics makes strange bedfellows.

EdEarl Level 8 Mar 25, 2018
4

Most of my so-called friends would have no trouble throwing me under the bus and you realise that when your ass is against the wall which it has been before and they have.

4

My ex?

godef Level 7 Mar 25, 2018

Same here

4

Sure. I stayed friends with my angry, jealous Thai married woman supervisors at work who tried to get me fired when I didn't reciprocate their romantic feelings for me. I played stupid, ignored their horrible behavior until the term was up. Besides, since I remained cheerful and didn't react, they stopped attacking me.

3

I’ve come across women that have had different ethics to me . I remove myself from all people who don’t deserve my energy .

3

In the music business they are everywhere. It is probably the same in most businesses.

Sticks48 Level 9 Mar 25, 2018
3

Yeah, but nothing arsenic couldn't resolve. smile007.gif lol.

3

No,
Life is too short to put up with that crap.

3

Several members of my family

3

I had a couple of roommates that this fits. It got to a point where I was paying for everything just to prevent disconnects or eviction notices. After a couple months of that and dealing with all of the idiots one of them kept bringing over I decided the sensible solution was to kick someone out of the apartment. So I did, me. I found a new place and did not tell either of them where it was. I have since moved to a new city and have returned to a somewhat normal friendship with one of them. I say somewhat normal because even though we have been friends for over 20 years we have very little in common any more. He has more in common with my unemployed brother than me now, it is kinda sad that such a long friendship is withering, but it is probably for the best.

icolan Level 7 Mar 25, 2018
3

Oh, yes. In my profession, I fougt many battles against her, vigorously. When her control freak tendencies got her in trouble in her job, I was conciliatory. Some time later she showed an interest in dating. I did not repond, as I was already married to a mean-spirited control freak and did not want more of the same.

wordywalt Level 8 Mar 25, 2018
3

My oldest sister! ????

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