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I sent a "Hello" to numerous gals at Agnostic, and I only got a response from one of them. I thought Agnostics would be more communicative. Another big let-down.

grbosworth 4 Aug 17
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58 comments

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7

did you say more than hello? any innuendos? that will sour an initial greeting.

31

Did you have any particular reason for contacting these "numerous" women?

Like had you interacted with each of them on various posts of interest and found their comments to be intriguing to the point that you felt you needed to continue each of those conversations privately?

Or did you just send out blank messages with a dull "Hello" to gals who have attractive photos? (A bit patronizing, don't you think?)

I realize you didn't ask for advice, you only posted a grumble, but I'll give you advice anyway.

If you want attention from the ladies here, you might participate in some discussion threads of interest and impress them with your intellect, class, wit, humor or in some way contribute positively to the conversations. Then see if any members seem to enjoy the same topics. That's how you might find someone with something in common with you.

You're going to have to actually do some work to show some reason for members to be interested in you, interact with them in the discussions. Let your personality shine, rather than whine.

To just send out "numerous" messages to "gals" saying "hello" is not going to attract the attention of the high quality members here. We are a skeptical bunch, many of us with some depth, who can see right through shallowness. 😉

If I could loudly cheer this response, I would. ❤️

this is why i try to meet people in life. I have to jump through too many hoops for a simple conversation online.. Although, I will agree that participating in the posts will at least draw attention. The reality is that women are skeptical of almost everything. Probably for good reasons but that same behavior is what chases normal guys like me away...."normal" is the key word.🤣

@MrChange generalize much?

one doesn't particopate in posts to draw attention. one participates in posts because one is actually interested in the topic of the posts. if you participate in posts to draw attention you are likely to behave in real life in ways that simply draw attention too, instead of... you know, it's called REAL life for a reason.

g

@MrChange what is “normal”?

@MrChange a more detailed bio might help, to show you are indeed normal, be cause a bio that has 4 words, two of them hello ain't exactly what a bio is.

@genessa woah there tiger. I'm here making all kinds of jokes. My bad. I won't argue. I'll just mind my business.

@genessa, @Jolanta there is no normal. Bad joke peeps. You guys take this seriously. Smh

@MrChange Still thy tongue yon venomous viper! LOL!!!

@MrChange Sorry. I was under the impression that jokes were, you know, funny.

g

@genessa again. My bad please have a great day.

@Mrchange don't generalize all women by your limited experiences ! We are not a monolith we are varied individuals. the common denominator in your problem is not half of the population, it is YOU.

@demifeministgal hi. I've been following and replying to some of your posts for awhile. You probably should go back and you would know i have been grossly misunderstood. Your comment is not wrong. I really need to keep my replies short and my humor to myself. Im only explaining this to you because you can look at our conversations. Don't worry. I have many other things to do in my life than argue about wording, language and bad jokes. Please have a great day.

@MrChange I guess we take it seriously because we are sick and tired of being blamed for everything. We are fighting back, no more cowed little women, he, he.

@MrChange haha not so far (not your fault). my guy has alzheimer's and he put my pouch with all important cards in it down where the chew-happy dog could (and did) reach it, instead of putting it back where he got it. we have spent the last hour on our ancient, creaky knees and bellies retrieving everything from under the bed. but thanks for the thought.

g

I do not know how to filter out chat and response history with a specific member via agnostic. Have you figured out a way to do this with a member, without using the "follow" feature of the site? Care to share?

29

You joined almost two years ago. In that time you've made a whole 7 posts and 0 comments and your bio is a joke. No one has any idea who the hell you are and yoiu're whining because women aren't responding to a total stranger messaging them.

If you'd spent that time getting to know people maybe women would reply back to you. If you put no effort in, why would you expect any results?

Just saying "Hello" is the laziest approach possible and sending out a bunch of them means yoiu're just fishing for pussy.

Well stated!

25

You are the one not being communicative . An empty bio and an empty message , tells us nothing about you . If you're looking for instant sex , because you said hello , you aren't likely to find it anywhere other than at a boredello .

Right on, girl. Right on.

and some cash!

22

I concur with the 25 (and counting) replies you've received since posting your comment. A few things:
-You just said hello? Did you say anything about why you reached out, specifically, what in their profile attracted you, or something they said in a post? Did you invest any time and thought other than in a simple "hello?" On Match.com many, many women (rightly) say that they don't respond to a wink. As in, if you can't put in enough effort to read my profile and write something, don't bother. Far too many guys are picture responders, nothing more.
-Your "profile" is a couple of curt sentences. You come across as dogmatic and inflexible. It's fine that you are into what you are into, and you are likely an interesting guy. But you come across as a curmudgeon. It is not about you, it is about making yourself interesting and worth engaging with. No one has been sitting around waiting for you to seek them out.

Take stock of yourself and revise your message, without lying. Good luck.

Well said

19

Gals? Your lingo needs an update.😳

I mean, the man hates TV, you're lucky he didn't call y'all 'birds'.

17

When a man leads with his dick....lol. Get outta here, you whiny wanker.

17

I’m guessing you asked yourself, “What would Jesus do?” Then realized “get yourself crucified” was the answer. Success!

Good one! LOL

17

Perhaps it is because your bio and posts show that you're such a happy little ray of sunshine.

Born before color television and despised that new fangled invention since the day it arrived!!

15

Did it ever occur to you that some people actually have lives that don't revolve around you & your personal time table?

You sound so canned.,

Just so! I don’t check my messages everyday, because my real life keeps me busy. I live on my own schedule. It’s a red flag if a new person I’m dating gets upset if I don’t text back AT ONCE. That was a red flag I missed on the DV relationship: obsessive, jealous, controlling.
I don’t owe anybody anything on a dating site: I don’t have to respond to every message.

@grbosworth canned? Really? Says the one who cannot get people to respond to chats and then comes on here whining about it..... FYI- to be canned one would have to drink, which I do not. Maybe you just can handle honest assessments of your poor behavior and have to resort to name calling/character attacks. Hmmmm, explains quite a lot about your inability to get people to chat with you.

15

Seriously...if "hello" is all you can offer, your not going to spark any interest.

15

I don't look at it as a dating site. It's an agnostic site with a side of potential dating.

This.

Yep.

14

You will not attract women with an unsmiling photo and negative profile. Nobody wants to be around a negative person. You wrote:

"Technical. Hate watching TV. Not interested in color movies. Interested in traveling, bicycling, hiking, cars, gardening, electronics, physics, technical books."

Start over. Post current smiling photos doing activities you love. Describe your strengths using personality traits. Talk a little about the type of person you want to date.

Short, inane messages get no reply from women:

Hello
Hi
how r u?
Hi sexy!

With online dating, like life itself, the effort you make is equal to the result you get.

Excellent response (and tips!)....

@Lavergne

Thank you.

13

One thing a man has to know in this world is that women get hit on a LOT. If all you want to do is hit on women, you probably won't get much more response than the typical lounge lizard trying to pick up a quick hookup. Back off from that (as many other responses have suggested). To quote a trainer I once worked with, he said "In order to find a better woman, you must become a better man." And here, you must have a better presence and profile.

mischl Level 8 Aug 18, 2020

Insightful. Well said.

13

what julie said!

some people find it odd that this is both a dating site and a community. the fact is, when you date in the offline world, you don't date in a vacuum. you date in a context. the community gives people who are here for dating a context. that's not all it does. many of us are here JUST for community, and our profiles say so. did you by any chance check to see whether the people to whom you sent your greetings were even here for dating? sudden unsolicited greetings are, under the circumstances, bound to be interpreted as come-ons, and even those who are here for dating might be looking for a context first, not just a random hello from a stranger. contrary to popular opinion, women who look for love online are not necessarily easy.

g

not easy at all and everyone has their own likes and their own oh hell no's

12

referring to women as "gals" is probably doing you no favours either, unless of course you are somehow messaging from the 1940s

I personally am not offended by "gals", outdated as it is.

12

Expectations lead to disappointment. Perhaps "Agnostic" women are more discerning and cautious regarding who they respond to.

11

Your homepage indicates you have never made a comment on this site . Why would anyone be interested in you if you just write posts . Comments and reply’s reveal much more about a person than posts .The fact that you have no comments would possibly communicate to members that you are not interested in what other people have to say ,do etc,etc . This indicates lack of interest or interaction with other members .

howdy1 Level 5 Aug 21, 2020
11

No whining.
It's unattractive.

"Buuut Ricky, I really need to be seeen. Wah!"

11

A lot of people on Agnostic are here just for the group and not interested on meeting others as possible partners, like me. It will be important for you to check their choice first. Second, if your opening line is just "Hello", I'm afraid you are not raising any possibilities. Next time you say hello, try adding the reasons why you are trying to make the connection, what do you see in the other person to make you to try to connect, and finally open up yourself to see if the person is interested. Even doing all this, there's no guarantee, it depends on the other person's mood, needs and chemistry. Just like in street and social interaction. Good luck!

10

How many responses do you want.. ? Are you building a harem?

10

Is this a dating site??!!? 😮

Oh, my! Color me embarrassed if it is, because I'm happily married and not polyamorous (no judgement of those who are, of course). Am I in the wrong place? I thought that this was just a discussion site.

Really?
Literally the first question you are asked on your profile is:
"Are you interested in meeting members for dating?"

@Gareth ...which implies that "no" is an acceptable answer...right?

@AmyTheBruce ...and also "yes"!

Being available for dating is not a requirement, just an option. Lots of people are just here for community. It's usually stated in their profile like it is in yours.

10

Yea, the guilt angle doesn't hang well here especially if you think it'll work on a mass scale.
Just silly.
Surly you see why, right?

Yes he sees, but don't call him Shirley.

Shirley you see why, right?

@Willow_Wisp I would love to meet someone, but at this point, I just don't think it's going to be possible to find someone compatible before I die, so I kinda gave up. I seriously gotta give this guy props for still fightin' the good fight though.

As Leslie Nielson said in Airplane, " I am serious and stop calling me Shirley".

10

Did you first check if they wanted contact?

9

If you've ever online dated, and are treating this like another dating site, I can see why you fail miserably. You should read some of the person's comments or posts and start a conversation on their topic(s) of interest. Do this by clicking on their profile, then clicking on the comments/posts sections and then scroll down. Get much better conversational results that way then just a lazy, no effort, hello. Hello does NOT make you stand out from other men. It makes you blend amongst the crowd and disappear.

So basically "insanity is doing the same thing over and over, but expecting different results." Change your approach and it may change your results. Become accustomed to rejection as that's very common in dating, especially online.

9

And you expected a spontaneous reaction. 🙄 And heard crickets. 🤔 Can't imagine why. 😣

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