A man I had a casual relationship with misunderstood when I told him I cared about him. He told me that I wasn't supposed to fall in love (part of the "deal." ) I told him I wasn't in love. Truth be told I cared about him as a friend, and it was my first FWB situation...so jealousy flared up a couple times. I figured my way out of the jealousy for the most part. I realized that just like he was free to do his own thing; I was free to do mine. It became interesting. I told him about guys I went out with (nothing serious), and I told him that if I got in a serious relationship our sexual relationship would be over.
However, I realize that I may not be cut out for that type of "relationship."
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FWB never made a lot of sense to me.. I 'get' being able to have an open relationship, but to have sex, talk , and cuddle repeatedly and NOT have emotions?? How is that even possible unless your psychotic or just dead inside? (Imo)
hippydog
Level 8
Oct 8, 2018
0
He even admitted to having feelings once...I wish I had screen shot that message. He probably wouldn't admit it now.
I was in a FWB relationship with someone well-outside the age range I prefer to date, and he dropped the L-bomb. I politely told him not to say it again and reiterated that our arrangement was strictly FWB. His response was, “you can’t tell me how to feel.” I replied, “I’m not telling you how to feel, I’m telling you not to tell me how you feel.” I also told him that I would end the relationship if he said it again. The next time he came for the weekend he said it again. I reminded him what I’d told him and let him know it would be his last visit.
He was outside the age range that I want to be serious with, and I just didn’t want more with him. What I didn’t tell him (but probably should have) was that I couldn’t continue to sleep with him knowing how he felt because I have no desire to toy with another’s emotions.
SurvivorSteph
Level 6
Sep 26, 2018
0
You did the ethically right thing. Sure, you could have strung him along in order to get laid some more, but you realized that wasn't right.
I like the FWB arrangement, but I'd like more.... Of course, it doesn't look like that's gonna happen any time soon.
Jthurston2
Level 6
Sep 25, 2018
1
FWB relationships have never been easy for me.
Sydland
Level 7
Sep 25, 2018
0
@Shouldbefishing Yes. The middle and end are complicated.
Friends care...this distinguishes FWB from hook-ups...
seattlepanda
Level 7
Sep 25, 2018
4
I had a similar experience with a FWB. We had some wonderful times together but it didn't last, I was starting to feel more for him than him for me. Although I was disappointed, I'm grateful for the experience and we remain friends. Before I met him, I thought FWB was just a terrible thing -- I'm still all for a serious relationship, but if I go awhile not meeting anyone and a casual opportunity came along, I wouldn't rule it out. I want love, but I'm not a nun.
bleurowz
Level 8
Sep 25, 2018
1
It’s a process learning how to do casual or multiple relationships if you never have. It’s been quite a year for me in that regard too.
brainyactress
Level 7
Sep 25, 2018
2
You go girl
Interesting. I had a similar experience with a FWB. She was serious though and became uncomfortably possessive.
seattlepanda
Level 7
Sep 25, 2018
2
Yep, need too. She wanted more and I didn't have it to give at the time.
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