Agnostic.com
15 3

Have you ever been deeply in love with someone and they felt the same and then one of you falls out of love? What do you think causes this?

Jama765 7 Nov 2
Share
You must be a member of this group before commenting. Join Group

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

15 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

0

For me., got into relationship very fast and ignored things that were important to me such as being atheist. Having many religious family members religion doesnt bother me, but realized it was different when it came to my partner. I had overlooked my own needs and thought it would somehow work out., eventually this only pilled up on top of other things i didnt like and eventually after many talks., i was done talking and walked away. It takes time and experiences together to know a person and after three years i realized i was not happy and wanted something that alighned with my beliefs. I understand challenges will come up in a relationship but i realized they are easy to overcome if you already share a general viewpoint in life and love.

Raidel Level 3 Nov 8, 2018

Yes, that was part of the problem for me. He pushed me very hard on the speed of things and I just didnt want those things.

0

All of the noise of living in this day and age drowns out a lot of the good stuff.

Remowill Level 7 Nov 6, 2018
0

Could be anything. Timing, life changes, miscommunication. Every situation and every relationship is different.

bleurowz Level 8 Nov 5, 2018
2

Someone gives you a compliment, and it feels good. Someone gives you a gift, and it was exactly what you wanted. It makes you feel special. Someone gives you attention, and it makes you smile. Once upon a time, you were in love, you enjoyed their company. You missed them when they were gone. You thought about them all the time. You enjoyed their attention. You found pleasure from their affection, they made you feel incredible.

A commitment is made. The two become comfortable. They settle into a routine. People are not all that complicated, we all want to relax and feel like these intimate feelings will last forever.

Time goes on, and its been a while since they gave you a compliment. It does not feel so good. Your partner says, “not tonight dear, I am really busy and need to finish something." We understand, but it does not feel that good. We become absolutely confident they are coming home after work, so we do not think about them as much as we used to through out the day. Their attention is no long as appreciated as it once was, now its merely something expected to keep the peace. So they kiss you on the cheek before they go out the door.

My point in all of this, is love takes work, not just while we are dating, but all the time. The same things that won our affections when we date still work once we are in a committed relationship. If you want intimacy to last, you need to work at it, and keep working at it. The other person is not some thing you can store on a shelf, they have feelings, and thoughts and need your attention.

1

Brain chemistry and the reduction of some, or you realized the other sex is not what you had thought...Challenge me..,if your dare...pussy cat...

Coron Level 3 Nov 4, 2018

Nothing to challange. I think you nailed it.

@Jama765 *I may of come off rather rudely since I did not think a sensitive, intelligent women similaire de ce calire to yourself would read my silly comment - you have my earnest apology..................... Perhaps, If you wish, we may discuss matters of the heart & soul some evening; and Wee may laugh and in an intelligent way over a fun topic such as:- what makes relationship work well. . Also, if you are not too busy, have a swish at my profile since Wee may have potential for quality friendship...Coron aka Pegasus...qed...have a fabulous day/night...

2

I was once in love with a slightly older woman. I thought we would go all the way and be a good couple as we really got along so well. Anyway one night i was busy doing something away so she got drunk and made out with a friend of mine who told me afterwards. Then when i asked her she said to me she only did it with him because she couldn't find me. I was heart broken and never did understand her infidelity. Anyway that was the end of us as the trust was destroyed.

Nardi Level 7 Nov 3, 2018

If you don't have trust you really have nothing.

@Jama765 agreed

2

Yes, people change or people have fantasies and discover the truth.

EdEarl Level 8 Nov 3, 2018
0

Prioritizing of self.

rcandlish Level 7 Nov 3, 2018
1

It really depends on what fuels the fire. Not all fires are equal.......

IamNobody Level 8 Nov 3, 2018
0

My first husband and I were totally crazy about each other. We met, began dating within two months, were engaged four months later then married four months after that. We had not known each other a year yet, when we married. Had two babies together, and were very happy. I went back to school to be an RN the second year, plus was working, so that began the strain. It was both of us, not being as willing to compromise and work together. Right at the four year mark, he cheated. Broke my heart good, but I can’t claim total innocence, since I was stubborn and went to school/work after he asked me to wait.
He left two weeks before graduation.
I’ll always hold feelings for him, but that was in 1985, so all the emotion is gone from it.

2

I'm going with open and honest communication. I'm also going to add lack of conflict resolution skills which then leads to neglecting issues and ultimately resentment.

Nukdookum Level 8 Nov 3, 2018
2

IMO real love is a lot more than just the feelings. I don't think people just happen to fall out of love. Relationships take a lot of work and some can't or won't do that work long term.

Agree 100%!

2

Can the love develope into such a strong friendship that the relationship just changes?

Jama765 Level 7 Nov 3, 2018

I think the way I would put it is. One of the aspects changes. Love requires a few things to stay ignited. Trust, attraction (chemistry), friendship , etc..
If one of those aspects goes away? It's like cutting a leg off a chair.. not good

Sex is biology. Love is biology + psychology. A relationship? Now that's reality!

4

Lack of communication and honesty. Imo

hippydog Level 8 Nov 3, 2018

And people change .
And sometimes it wasnt true love but more of an infatuation.

6

Familiarity. Knowledge gained through time.

Sometimes... you can love someone... but can’t live with them.

Agree and sometimes we rush things and only realize we made a mistake..

@Jama765 Mother Nature makes us “rush things”. She clouds our vision, our rationale, in her quest to make life. It’s narural... but for Long-term situations... can be maddening...

Write Comment

Recent Visitors 109

Photos 164 More

Posted by UnitySomeday my princess will appear before me. ❤️

Posted by AtheistPeace666Hello I'm a single Canuck looking for my special lady Canuck.

Posted by KhaCRYou ever feel like you found the perfect sexual partner then he turns out to be a complete 💩bag and you can’t find the satisfaction in other encounters?

Posted by EntheogenFanI have a story to tell.

Posted by EntheogenFanI have a story to tell.

Posted by KateOahuYes, I agree that the reverse is also true.

Posted by JolantaThis is what women have to put up with and then they want to be intimate while we are still angry because they will not do their share of housework.

Posted by JolantaDucky, Snookums....

Posted by SorchaThis is a guy I was talking to from okcupid. He is totally new to online dating and it shows.

Posted by JolantaThat’s Amore. Some women are just far too shallow.

Posted by JolantaSomething for real intimacy perhaps.

Posted by Green_Soldier71Has anyone here had any experience with (or known someone who has/had) a SEXLESS MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP or a FRIGID PARTNER?

Posted by EyesThatSmileNakedness.

Posted by LetzGetRealMy family has often commented how I should become a "cougar"... as I look pretty good at my age and have a younger mindset than some of my peers, I guess this is there rationale?

Posted by Ann-1980The 4 types of Intimacy to feel sufficient, satisfied & healing in a love relationship.

Posted by Philip21over the top thinking? [agnostic.com]

  • Top tags#relationship #sex #intimacy #video #friends #religious #hope #religion #world #god #children #wife #marriage #book #kids #advice #death #reason #agnostic #beliefs #Atheist #hell #money #society #movies #fear #hello #Present #parents #belief #loves #Song #community #lonely #books #divorce #culture #humans #dogs #sleep #chemistry #Christian #college #soul #animals #sexy #philosophy #holiday #DonaldTrump #sexuality ...

    Members 1,850Top

    Moderator