I sympathize. Masterbation falls short of satisfaction. A sex worker doesn't interest me. Perhaps a friend with benefits; someone with whom I could have a relationship would be nice. I think the sparks die after a couple of years with anyone, so I don't expect a forever sexual relationship, which make most sense when a couple have children. I had three stepfathers; two of them abused me. Though I am a stepfather; I feel children are better off poor than abused.

You are definitely not alone! I'm pretty sick of men myself. I'd be happy with a FWB but most men don't want to be friends, they just want the benefits. I tried the "just sex" route but I can't do it. Maybe a gigolo? A professional cuddler?

Sex is one of the most amazing things we can do for ourself, and our partner. We have all heard that sex is 99% mental. You should try and rid yourself of the negative thoughts, and just enjoy yourself with or without a partner. Find time to make this happen. There are a lot of awesome people just like you that just need connect.