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I kind of wish I had a significant other. But it is very difficult to find someone who thinks like me. I had one really good relationship that lasted a few years. He was eccentric and could easily think outside the box. It is, on occasion, frustrating to think differently than most people. It is hard to find people who don't fit into "normal" - my friends call me eccentric. My enemies call me odd. They also call me other things. Does anyone else feel so very "different" ??

SKH78 8 July 6
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18 comments

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2

This whole place is full of different

bobwjr Level 10 July 7, 2019

Most of us have felt the same but it can happen as several here can attest to

2

I do! I'm convinced I was not ever ment to be loved.

Kojaksmom Level 8 July 7, 2019

Sorry but wrong you are meant to be loved just not e easy to find

@bobwjr it's not a bad thing!

@Kojaksmom it sounds bad to me.You quit before you begin.

@Lorajay I was married for 21 years to a guy who was a chronic cheater. 5 years after his death I began dating again. I have been nothing but disappointed by the men that I date. At 53 it seems pointless to be looking for a needle in a haystack.

@Kojaksmom actually can be a form of depression if you think you are unlovable don't have to be a Pollyanna but just at least a little optimistic

@Kojaksmom actually many here older than you have f found someone I was older than you when I found last partner of 14years big hint if he was cheating you were looking in the wrong place not everyone is a jerk like your husband jerks do abound but change where you look and who you look at

@bobwjr as an atheist living in the Bible Belt, I too can relate to the initial post that non-traditional people, particularly females,have a difficult time finding a suitable partner. Males,even if they're Progressive, appear to be attracted to females who have traditional female characteristics.

@Kojaksmom true but odds are better here than traditional dating sites not sure what female characteristic you mean

@bobwjr in all of my dating experiences ,I have found that men do indeed appear to be looking for extensions of their mothers.

@Kojaksmom not always usually look for independent woman capable of loving another actual partner you can share a life with may make me seem weird but there you go

1

It sounds a bit like you demand that a guy think like you do. That's so unlikely to happen. None of my lady friends in my very long and mostly happy life has EVER thought like I do. A couple of them were somewhat close, but with key differences. Just being an agnostic has set me apart from most women I've met. My shortest marriage was with a Catholic girl. She was great in bed, but the sisters in Catholic school damaged her beyond repair.

mischl Level 8 July 7, 2019
1

Everyone is looking for the right match. We seldom find one, and settle for second best.

2

Who gives a Good God Damned what Anyone thinks ? I haven't since I was 18 . I do enjoy my life, to me, if You want to be truly Miserable, try to please Anyone !

GEGR Level 7 July 6, 2019
4

Normal is overrated and boring

Unity Level 8 July 6, 2019

Yes it certainly is, but realistically it often times does seem to be what the opposite sex appears to be looking for. It's hard to find someone that appreciates people
Who are a bit eccentric or not the norm.

@Kojaksmom Move to Ohio

1

Friends should be more supportive....retirement age romance will be easier than punch clock dating

Lost most friends when husband diagnosed with Alzheimer's, lost the rest when he died. No friends support, so I'm just gonna eat more worms and watch MASH reruns.

@SiouxcitySue there are many Atheists all over Arizona some are relocated Sioux City Iowans....don't be a loner....make new pals without bibles or faith fallacies

@GreenAtheist I play with the Humanist Society a lot, but making new friends has always been tough due to my "weirdness". Many atheists are very rigid in their anti-theism, to the point of being . . . well . . . rigid, as in rigor mortis. I am an apatheist and don't care about religion, therefore I am not quite militant enough for many of them. Also many of them, at least around here, are Mensa members and they tend to be arrogant to the point of being unapproachable. Strangely, the one woman friend I have was a member of my husband's church and she and I meet for lunch at least once a month. She knows I don't care about religion and it's fine with her. How's that for a twist. Thanks for your wise words and I'll keep looking, but I'm still eating those worms. I'm not from Iowa.

1

I pride in my differences
It was hard to come to this self-love but who else ought I be if not that which resists mere conformity

1000runner Level 7 July 6, 2019
1

you make a broad statement. how are you different? what is one eccentricity?

TheDoubter Level 9 July 6, 2019
2

Living in a small, conservative area makes it almost impossible to let my freak flag fly. have to go to the big city (Bay City) to do anything approaching that. Or just trolling rightwing moonbats online. But as Carolinagirl60 points out, getting older gives you more freedom, especially when you are retired and on a pension.

2

Always

Mitch07102 Level 8 July 6, 2019
2

What do people think you are, besides not normal? I have never got the concept of normal as I find it too limiting for personal growth.

3

Yes a lot of us feel that,why we are still single,,have to find that one comfortable fit where you can be you and they can be also also and both are are quite ok with it,probably one of the enduring things you love about each other are openminded enough you can talk about what you want to with out being judged and encouraged to do so and be yourself ,We all have that ellusive person out there,,sometimes we have found them but did not know at the time ,But if your wishing and helping your wish along it will happen

RoyMillar Level 9 July 6, 2019
8

Oh yeah. The older I get, the more of a weirdo I am. I’m definitely not everyone’s cup of tea, which bothers me less now than it used to. The older I get, the less fucks I have to give. And the more likely I am to say so!

Well said. 🙂

5

Yes, sometimes. It really depends who I'm around. Some friends, i feel quite at home to be myself. Others, I'm constantly being judged for being different. It's a terrible cycle. It's lonely. But that's okay, I'd rather be lonely than fake....sometimes😔

4

I think most people here fit that

bobwjr Level 10 July 6, 2019
5

I've been single for 10 years. I don't need someone who thinks like me, seriously one of me is enough for this world. I just want someone who is a good fit. I'm not normal, I am eccentric and unique as we all should be. I don't give a rip what other people think, it isn't really my business what they think. Seriously, I don't think enough people think so thinking anything is likely good. There is an old song that "you can't please everyone so you've got to please yourself. I please myself and others can go along or get the hell out of my way. So yes, I'm different. And yes, you're different. And we're each wonderful. Anyone who doesn't think so can kiss my tiny (hah!) white (oh so very shiny white) hiney.

@HippieChick58 Have not heard this song in years, thanks.

3

I've done enough studies in Demography to know that the more crowded it gets the more challenging it is to find and stay with one person....or to even remain stable and sane.

Read Alvin Toffler's "Future Shock" or the more scientific research by J.B. Calhoun "Population Density and Social Pathology" but it's been proven...it's a fact...the more crowded it gets the harder life becomes.

Oh...and yes...our world population is still growing...at the rate of 158 more births, than deaths....per minute. 227,000 more per day. A million more every 5 days.

[ncbi.nlm.nih.gov]

Robecology Level 9 July 6, 2019

Some countries do continue to have expanding populations .Last I heard , we weren't one of them. Thankfully , we have both contraceptives , and the intelligence to use them . Most everyone , aside from politicians , who are lacking intelligence .

@Cast1es Very few nations have a declining growth rate (in other words, a population decline, or attrition rate). The U.S. and Canada are not only NOT declining, but because we consume so much more per person (per capita) we are 5% of the world's population, growing slowly (at 0.91%) yet we consume 25% of its' resources.

Yes; one U.S. citizen eats, and uses up the equivalent of 5 humans on this planet.

It is well known that Americans consume far more natural resources and live much less sustainably than people from any other large country of the world.

“A child born in the United States will create thirteen times as much ecological damage over the course of his or her lifetime than a child born in Brazil,” reports the Sierra Club’s Dave Tilford, adding that the average American will drain as many resources as 35 natives of India and consume 53 times more goods and services than someone from China. (https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/american-consumption-habits/)

Please; click on this link and explore the site. (https://ourworldindata.org/future-population-growth) ; very educational.

For example; I didn't know that Syria has a negative 2.2% attrition rate, for example (but with all the wars and emigration from there, it's logical.

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