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I am a sapiosexual.

This means "a person who finds intelligence sexually attractive or arousing."

I like men of high intellect. Talking is sexy to me. It arouses my intellect. I think we are more than just an empty shell. Just what more we are remains to be seen.

I love deep conversations about EVERYTHING. Conspiracy theories, science fiction, good movies, love's existence or non-existence, life, traveling, photographs, witchy things, renaissance faires, medievel times, HISTORY!

I am a sapiosexual, and I have no problems at all with that.

JustLuAnn 7 Jan 17
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You are not alone, I think there are many of us.

Well I can see your point but it would have made for interesting conversation lol

@JustLuAnn I guess it could of, I just started dating an old friend, he is 100 a geek and I love it.


I love words and have a tendency to Grammar Nazi. Yes, I love people with big vocabularies and who can string together an interesting sentence. Once I see a sentence with U R in it, I'm pretty much done.

Thank you, thank you. The lack of abilities for coherent communication among most of humanity is so annoying. I regard "Grammar Nazi" as praise.

Well then perhaps you will accept a criticism of the term grammar Nazi. The real Nazis tortured, starved, and killed over 6 million people. If one stops and thinks about the use of the term for a minor grammar transgression are we in any way trivializing the victims of the holocaust? Same with the term feminazi.

@ToolGuy I do agree. I'm not willing to torture, starve, or otherwise hurt anyone, and I know too much about the holocaust to trivialize it. What term do you suggest? Grammar dictator? Grammar Protector? Persnickety about Grammar just doesn't measure up.

@HippieChick58 Don't have one in mind. One may come to me in a moment of mediation or sleep!

@ToolGuy I know!! It pops into your head at oh dark thirty and then sleep is gone for the night.


Good for you. The number one, no-compromise requirement I look for is a high level of intellect. Smart matters.

Mitch07102 Level 7 Jan 17, 2020

It definitely makes the relationship more interesting !

GreatNani Level 8 Jan 17, 2020

I like women with the same

bobwjr Level 9 Jan 17, 2020

Its so totally sexy.


You're a rare breed. I hear the term Sapiosexual used frequently, but I don't see the effect. My experience has been that women are attracted to smart guys because they think we're rich.

BitFlipper Level 8 Jan 17, 2020

Being rich is only a bonus. Its what is inside a person that counts. I'm not sure I would really get along with a rich guy. My lifestyle and friends are different. I'm more of a left over hippy wanna be witch kinda woman.

Is that like a generational trait? Because soo many young people have degrees and are intelligent, but most of us are poor or struggling. So, if a man is smart it is not assumed he is rich! hehe

@demifeministgal well most men who are sapiosexual that I have known are all engineers by trade....and yea they got money...Of course they also have wives LMAO


I am probably a quasi-sapiosexual. I'm really turned off by men with small minds, limited conversational topics, and can't even write a full sentence spelled correctly. Unfortunately those are the men who are attracted to me.

I'm finding my own company - and interacting in discussions online to be a better alternative, since it's unlikely I'd be finding a guy who enjoys good conversation at this point in my life.

Julie808 Level 7 Jan 17, 2020

I just blocked what seemed to otherwise be a good match on POF because suddenly he brought up "ghosts" in a damned creepy way, as in, "beware of them"
We had been exchanging lovely thoughts for about 2 weeks, and then that. Not "intellectual" At All! .

AnneWimsey Level 9 Jan 17, 2020

Holy shit! I wish there were more women like yourself.

MrChange Level 7 Jan 17, 2020

I believe it comes with age dear.

@JustLuAnn which is sad. I don't want get old for women to get it. Lol


Welcome to the club .

Cast1es Level 8 Jan 17, 2020

haha we should make a group called SapioSexuals


I do find it easier to converse with people who like to think and to hear others' thoughts-- who have enough working memory and processing speed to keep up. It's not as if I made my brain this way somehow on purpose, so I don't see why it is anything to brag about or conceal, any more than height or eye color. It's not a virtue to be intelligent-- but it's still a great pleasure to connect with another person intellectually. And connecting leads to friendship, which for me adds to the pleasure of sex.

Unfortunately, it narrows the field of potential partners, by definition-- there are obviously many fewer men in the top 1-2% of IQ. That's a much smaller group than the "nones"!

Leontion Level 6 Jan 18, 2020

131, not astonishingly high, is already 98th percentile. I have no idea what my own IQ is, other than that my parents were told it was above the 99th percentile when I was a kid. I may have lost a few points by now, lol.



I can't screw ya if yer stupid......

AnneWimsey Level 9 Jan 18, 2020

I've never know a truly smart bad boy. Oh they think they're smart but imo not so much.


I would say this is me, too. I'm also something of a demisexual, defined as "a person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone" -- so in essence, both heart and mind take precedence for me. That's not saying I wouldn't feel any initial physical attraction, because I have -- but I never see it or feel it as anything more than that. More often than not, it's way more about what they say or do than it is their looks that will pique my interest to want to get to know someone better, and if I click more and more with them mentally and emotionally they become more attractive in my eyes.

bleurowz Level 8 Jan 17, 2020

Do you masturbate to the TED talks? lol

Davekp Level 7 Jan 17, 2020



Could not agree more. I just find it creepy when a man lists it in his online dating profile.


I am significantly sapiosexual too. I’ve always found all sorts of non-normative looking people wildly attractive because of who they are (and intelligence coupled with humour and compassion is pretty darned attractive). I wouldn’t say it’s 100%: somehow the women I’ve ended up with have largely been fairly conventionally good looking too but it’s not the last or only consideration by a very long chalk.

OwlInASack Level 8 Jan 17, 2020

To me, its not really the looks that matter. We all grow old with age, and in the end what have we got but our minds. Getting along, compassion and a good sense of humor go a long way.

@JustLuAnn yeah agree totally. I’ve noticed how an otherwise beautiful woman can immediately appear deeply ugly to me if she is hateful, ignorant, arrogant and lacks compassion.

And yet I love my missus - we’ve aged together (I’m 48, she is 49) and I find her more attractive than ever (thankfully)

@OwlInASack I've often said the same thing. I've thought some women were gorgeous in photos or from a distance and then I talk with them and find some incompatible aspect of their personality makes them quite unattractive to me — and then their physical appearance seems diminished as well. Conversely, someone I initially saw as plain or moderately attractive will grow significantly in physical attractiveness as I get to know her and appreciate her personality (kindness, charm, wit, intellect).

@resserts That's exactly how I feel. There are men that I probably wouldn't be attracted to if I just saw their picture, BUT knowing them and observing them I've been incredibly attracted to them.

@OwlInASack @resserts It is called the horns effect. The opposite of the halo effect, the more one gets to know a person and their flawed personality/characteristics, the uglier they seem to become in one's mind.


Been awaay visiting friends for 3 days and come back to 3 pages full of post to go thru Sapiosexual ,sure has brought a lot of interests on this topic and nothing sexier than a very intelligent women who can carry on very erotic conversations with out being vulgar

RoyMillar Level 8 Jan 19, 2020

Thank you kindly. I got busy this weekend myself and wow ..what a response.



santy Level 1 Jan 17, 2020

The word has come up several times on this site. The first time I had not heard it before but then realized it is also something very important. However, one has to be careful with their vocabulary as it can come across as know-it-all and arrogant.

JackPedigo Level 9 Jan 17, 2020

Absolutely....I know people have thought me arrogant and bit@chy!!! Haha good point.

@JustLuAnn I try to learn as I read and when there are a lot of big words I lose interest. Sometimes moderation is the key.


I like donuts!

Sticks48 Level 9 Jan 17, 2020

Same here....

SukiSue Level 8 Jan 17, 2020

I'm a virtual thesaurus

TheDoubter Level 8 Jan 17, 2020


Pedrohbds Level 7 Jan 17, 2020



Hi I like your terminology---I meet women sometimes who don't seem super religious on the surface yet seem shocked when I share my non religion views later in the relationship--I guess timing is everything---up front is always a better position

Stuy Level 3 Jan 27, 2020

Me too.....but then I guess I’d argue, who isn’t?

Hazydays Level 7 Jan 24, 2020

Trump supporters

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