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I am a sapiosexual.

This means "a person who finds intelligence sexually attractive or arousing."

I like men of high intellect. Talking is sexy to me. It arouses my intellect. I think we are more than just an empty shell. Just what more we are remains to be seen.

I love deep conversations about EVERYTHING. Conspiracy theories, science fiction, good movies, love's existence or non-existence, life, traveling, photographs, witchy things, renaissance faires, medievel times, HISTORY!

I am a sapiosexual, and I have no problems at all with that.

JustLuAnn 7 Jan 17
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You are not alone, I think there are many of us.

Well I can see your point but it would have made for interesting conversation lol

@JustLuAnn I guess it could of, I just started dating an old friend, he is 100 a geek and I love it.


I love words and have a tendency to Grammar Nazi. Yes, I love people with big vocabularies and who can string together an interesting sentence. Once I see a sentence with U R in it, I'm pretty much done.

Thank you, thank you. The lack of abilities for coherent communication among most of humanity is so annoying. I regard "Grammar Nazi" as praise.

@ToolGuy I do agree. I'm not willing to torture, starve, or otherwise hurt anyone, and I know too much about the holocaust to trivialize it. What term do you suggest? Grammar dictator? Grammar Protector? Persnickety about Grammar just doesn't measure up.

@ToolGuy I know!! It pops into your head at oh dark thirty and then sleep is gone for the night.


Good for you. The number one, no-compromise requirement I look for is a high level of intellect. Smart matters.

Mitch07102 Level 8 Jan 17, 2020

I like women with the same

bobwjr Level 9 Jan 17, 2020

Its so totally sexy.


You're a rare breed. I hear the term Sapiosexual used frequently, but I don't see the effect. My experience has been that women are attracted to smart guys because they think we're rich.

BitFlipper Level 8 Jan 17, 2020

Being rich is only a bonus. Its what is inside a person that counts. I'm not sure I would really get along with a rich guy. My lifestyle and friends are different. I'm more of a left over hippy wanna be witch kinda woman.

Is that like a generational trait? Because soo many young people have degrees and are intelligent, but most of us are poor or struggling. So, if a man is smart it is not assumed he is rich! hehe

@demifeministgal well most men who are sapiosexual that I have known are all engineers by trade....and yea they got money...Of course they also have wives LMAO


I am probably a quasi-sapiosexual. I'm really turned off by men with small minds, limited conversational topics, and can't even write a full sentence spelled correctly. Unfortunately those are the men who are attracted to me.

I'm finding my own company - and interacting in discussions online to be a better alternative, since it's unlikely I'd be finding a guy who enjoys good conversation at this point in my life.

Julie808 Level 8 Jan 17, 2020

I would say this is me, too. I'm also something of a demisexual, defined as "a person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone" -- so in essence, both heart and mind take precedence for me. That's not saying I wouldn't feel any initial physical attraction, because I have -- but I never see it or feel it as anything more than that. More often than not, it's way more about what they say or do than it is their looks that will pique my interest to want to get to know someone better, and if I click more and more with them mentally and emotionally they become more attractive in my eyes.

bleurowz Level 8 Jan 17, 2020

I just blocked what seemed to otherwise be a good match on POF because suddenly he brought up "ghosts" in a damned creepy way, as in, "beware of them"
We had been exchanging lovely thoughts for about 2 weeks, and then that. Not "intellectual" At All! .

AnneWimsey Level 9 Jan 17, 2020

Holy shit! I wish there were more women like yourself.

MrChange Level 7 Jan 17, 2020

I believe it comes with age dear.

@JustLuAnn which is sad. I don't want get old for women to get it. Lol


Welcome to the club .

Cast1es Level 9 Jan 17, 2020

haha we should make a group called SapioSexuals


I can't screw ya if yer stupid......

AnneWimsey Level 9 Jan 18, 2020

I've never know a truly smart bad boy. Oh they think they're smart but imo not so much.


Do you masturbate to the TED talks? lol

Davekp Level 8 Jan 17, 2020



Could not agree more. I just find it creepy when a man lists it in his online dating profile.


Been awaay visiting friends for 3 days and come back to 3 pages full of post to go thru Sapiosexual ,sure has brought a lot of interests on this topic and nothing sexier than a very intelligent women who can carry on very erotic conversations with out being vulgar

RoyMillar Level 9 Jan 19, 2020

Thank you kindly. I got busy this weekend myself and wow ..what a response.



santy Level 1 Jan 17, 2020

The word has come up several times on this site. The first time I had not heard it before but then realized it is also something very important. However, one has to be careful with their vocabulary as it can come across as know-it-all and arrogant.

JackPedigo Level 9 Jan 17, 2020

Absolutely....I know people have thought me arrogant and bit@chy!!! Haha good point.

@JustLuAnn I try to learn as I read and when there are a lot of big words I lose interest. Sometimes moderation is the key.


I like donuts!

Sticks48 Level 9 Jan 17, 2020

Same here....

SukiSue Level 8 Jan 17, 2020

I'm a virtual thesaurus

TheDoubter Level 9 Jan 17, 2020


Pedrohbds Level 7 Jan 17, 2020



Hi I like your terminology---I meet women sometimes who don't seem super religious on the surface yet seem shocked when I share my non religion views later in the relationship--I guess timing is everything---up front is always a better position

Stuy Level 4 Jan 27, 2020

Me too.....but then I guess I’d argue, who isn’t?

Hazydays Level 7 Jan 24, 2020

Trump supporters


Why do you HAVE to get older to get wiser ! Wish I was exposed to this philosophy sooner in life.
I sure as hell know most of the current gen needs to have this sort of an outlook early on so we can avoid stupid relationships pitfalls and quit wasting time !


These comments are all very interesting. Perhaps Sapiosexual women express their interest differently. Maybe that's why all they want from me is intellectual stimulation.

BitFlipper Level 8 Jan 18, 2020

Surely they want more than that. Lol

@JustLuAnn I used to think so, but no.

@BitFlipper well i want more. Just trying to find someone to finish off this old world with....

@JustLuAnn I want more too. I've had it up to here {holds hand at forehead} with these platonic, non-physical relationships. Whatever happened to physical contact?

@BitFlipper Times have changed my friend. Times have changed.


I'm kind of curious about the science of how sexual attraction works. The whole "bad boy" thing has always intrigued me and it seems like scientists are now able to, if not explain it, at least determine that it is rooted in primate behavior and not necessarily unique to humans. It seems like a lot of our mating behavior operates at levels that we are not usually aware of. I have heard women sometimes say they are attracted to brainy men, and even more often complain that their partners were not brainy enough, but I kind of wonder how that would have developed evolutionarily. I can't say in my experience that women seemed to generally prefer smart guys unless the rest of the package was in good shape. Could our primate ancestors have figured out who was smarter? And how did that characteristic rank with other aspects of sexual attraction? Bad boy attraction seems to be fairly well established, scientifically, but I wonder if smart bad boys might have an even greater edge? []

MrJoyBoy Level 4 Jan 18, 2020

One wonders how many men are sapiosexual? I think men go for looks over intellect unless they are really smart and have figured out looks fade. Do want to be stuck with a Barbie who cannot converse when looks fade or a woman who can hold her own?

@JustLuAnn I think most men would respond that they want both, although apparently there are men who have problems of one sort or another with intelligent women. But speaking for myself, I still haven't figured out exactly how to define intelligence. I have known women that were certainly as smart as whips in the way we usually define that, but then there was frequently something compromising the brainpower in some way, maybe just my bad luck. I did have a girlfriend once that made a big deal out of her intelligence and being in MENSA, and who liked to test me and match wits, but honestly could I say that the overall experience with her was better because of her IQ? Not really. True, every once in a while there is a woman that has very little interesting to say, but in my experience intelligence as it's normally conceived is probably less important than "personality" or "attitude," and that's one of those things that usually just comes down to chemistry, but in some sense can involve intelligence. Yeah, it's complicated. Looks, within certain limits, would rank third.

@Hugo_Stiglitz I have not heard of this Shallow Hal syndrome. I shall have to do some research. It's just a turn on to me that a man likes to hear me tell him what to do.

@MrJoyBoy mmmm Looks Third....Interesting....Here is my ranking of items:

10 looks
30 sexual chemistry
30 kindness
30 intellect

@JustLuAnn The inclusion of kindness is interesting and understandable, certainly, but it goes against the bad boy preference some women seem to exhibit. In the primate studies where bad boy attraction has been observed, the rationale sometimes offered is that, at least in ape society, uncaring behavior can reflect high status, since the dominant males have less motivation to behave in a manner appealing to subservient members of the group. But in human society kindness should be more valued, yet it seems to be a factor that is not mentioned that often. Maybe many of us still revert to our atavistic rules of attraction, but this disregard for such qualities seems to extend beyond romance in our culture, especially lately. Whatever happened to peace, love and understanding?

@MrJoyBoy Peace, love and understanding is a by-gone era.

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