How do i go about finding a woman that can be (talk or physical) intimate??? By that i mean a kind of sharing our deepest desires etc with each other without judgment or shaming??
There is not one, correct path to what you are looking for. It has been my experience, the women I have been friends with and been fortunate enough to interact with have been straight forward and open. Intimacy is a result, IMO, of time spent together (physical) and communicating (time together). My lady pointed out to me how chemistry is more physical, but that does not automatically translate to connection/intimacy and I agree.
You mentioned the downside, which is judgement and being shammed, but I submit that perhaps the comments made to you in the past MIGHT have been a critique and not meant to be too critical???
No advice to offer but my opinion is go into a meeting or being around people and "going with the flow". One of my favorite writers, Zora Neale Hurston described love like this and I believe it; "Love is lak de sea. It’s uh movin’ thing, but still and all, it takes its shape from de shore it meets, and it’s different with every shore." (The language spoken from a rural dialect). Basically, each connection/relationship differs and so will your experiences.
There are plenty of women out there looking for precisely the same thing. They won't fall in your lap - or let's just say the odds are against it. You have to get out there and meet people. Yes, dating sites can and do work, but you still have to put in a lot of effort. Men have to work extra hard on dating sites, especially if they don't look like movie stars. Extra-super-duper-holy-shmokes-hard. Don't whine, don't moan, don't wallow in despair, don't be desperate - just shaddup, put on your game face, and put in the time. Persistence is the only way.
A cheerful disposition, a positive outlook, a friendly attitude, a confident stride, and a "fuck it, who cares, let's have a good time" mentality will really help. If you can't muster up any of these, don't bother.
If you want to talk about how to gain traction in any of the qualities I've mentioned above, I'm down. Note, however, that all of the things I'm talking about are adjustments to your outlook, for your benefit. If you're a confident, cheerful, positive person, people gravitate toward you.
I can't think of anyone , male or female , who wants to simply be used . So understand this , according to the US Census of 2015 , it now costs , on average , $250,000 to raise a child . That's a quarter of a million dollars . So if you're thinking no strings attached sex , keep that in mind . You could be asking a woman to be willing to pay out a quarter of a million dollars for one night of sex with you , and that's not even guarrunteeing that it will be good sex . And yes , I've known women who had sex once got pregnant , and the male walked off . I also know a woman who's boyfriend got her pregnant , gave her money and told her to have an abortion , then broke off with her , because after all , she killed the fetus . I read a lot of men whining about , we divorced and she took everything . On the other side ,of that picture , the men seem to forget that once you've created children , they don't simply disappear because you're no longer having sex with their Mom . Yes they are expensive to raise . I waved alimony when we divorced . My ex contributed $150 a month , to support two children . One day he came to me and told me he couldn't live on what he had left . He'd already told me he was eating his meals out in restrants . I pointed out to him , that if we subtracted what he was paying in child support from his income and added it to my income , I still had less to support the three of us , than he had to support himself alone . His response was , " Three ? ? ? "
So I'd suggest to you , that you recognize what you're expecting from any woman . and what you're expecting from your self , then add to that , what work you're willing to put into your relationship and what work you expect her to do for you , then viewing things relistically , ask yourself if you'd be willing to be on the other side of the equation .