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freshly minted ex-facebooger:

I just deactivated my Facebook account. it's something I never thought I'd do. I really liked Facebook as an idea, and I'm sad that I have to lose the friends I made on the site, but I think I may have inadvertently taught the ai to bully me.

for the last several months, the service has shown me mostly just repeated instances of things I find traumatic (sometimes for weeks after the original posting) and obsessive, sponsored screeds of horribly spelled christian-themed social abuse (no matter how many times I hid, blocked, reported, and otherwise tried to tell the algorithm not to show me any more of it) and right wing scaremongers (like "buy our thirty gallon bucket of end times slop" people).

I was following plenty of news sources and legitimate things, but the algorithm never shared their posts with me timely. but it was totally able to send me that five thousandth reminder this week that the last guy I found even remotely attractive prefers, essentially, children (he started dating her in september and I still had to scroll past the Facebook generated post about it this morning. again).

if there was some way to petition for an actual person at Facebook to do whatever needs to be done to make the platform stop being so painful for me to use, I'd be happy to go back, but that's just not going to happen.

so I guess I'll start posting more here. I really hope you guys don't decide to hate me. I guess I have a way of teaching people, and now even computer programs, to do that pretty effectively. I wish it wasn't the way it is, but I guess that's just what life is for me.

and if the only response you're having to this is the urge to tell me how everything I'm doing is "wrong," please just block me. it's okay. unlike the social media algorithm, I think you have the right not to have to look at things that upset you.

Heartbroke 4 Nov 30
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43 comments

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14

Welcome to the asylum. Enjoy your stay.

No one here hates you. That's not how things work around here.

I really hope you're seeking professional mental health assistance.
I'm not saying that to be mean, but only because I really think you could
benefit from learning some coping mechanisms, AND that you are not
anywhere near as bad you seem to think you are.
We could ALL use a little therapy from time to time.

I want you to love yourself.
You deserve to love yourself.
We ALL do.

9

I once tried an experiment with FB; I made a simple post that said "I really like popcorn." Within mins, the whole right side feed was populated with ads for popcorn. FB is just a data mining site in the form of social media. They all are.

Their algorithms sometimes make no damn sense though... if I am making pro choice arguments in favour of abortion and am talking about being happily childfree and they come back advertising surrogacy services to me, aka trying to get me to be a surrogate, what kind of faulty algorithm is that?!

6

Hey, it seems you've had some terrible experiences there exacerbated by a lack of self-confidence.

There are always going to be assholes. I know they can crush you emotionally some times, but you'll find decent people too. Hopefully, they'll make it worth hanging on and hanging out here.

My first piece of advice, is use the block button as needed to filter out the negativity and hate. Most people will be glad you're here.

JimG Level 8 Nov 30, 2019
6

I find the people here to be much more friendly than on Facebook. I gave up Facebook because one person I disagreed with threatened to hack my computer. Then the functions on my computer started mal-functioning. So I quit Facebook, got a new computer, and changed my email address. Here, I have had no such problem.

It would not be possible for a hacker to hack your computer specifically from just knowing you through Facebook. The hacker would need much more. Otherwise everyone would be being backed and this would be all over the news. Your computer would also need to have sone kind of non-standard configuration that would have already been vulnerable.

@Vpatel
...but then there are hackers and hackerrrrrs. They don't have to splash across the news and make it public but use to their advantage, not so?

@TimeOutForMe I don't think so. Im assuming here were are talking about actually hacking his computer, and not simply getting into his Facebook account, which can be socially engineered.

For starters, they would have to identify his computer out of the tens of billions in the world (there are more phones / computers in the world than people). This could be done if someone asked him, he typed in "IP address" into Google, and gave it to the hacker, but that is unlikely.

But even if the hacker got the IP address, his router would need to be in a non-standard configuration, with open ports, to let the hackers traffic through. Then, his operating system would be needed to have its firewall disabled, and set to allow external connections. That would take some deliberate know-how and use case by the victim.

There are too many hoops to jump through.

Because of the real prize of someone's data here, if this was happening, then the victims would be making a real fuss about it, if not the hackers.

I'm not saying that @BestWithoutGods didn't have issues with his computer, but these could have been caused by an opportunistic virus from a hacked website, for example, or his computer just playing up.

He also mentioned that he got a new computer and the issue went away. But even if the hacker succeeded in hacking his old computer, they would never have physically damaged the actual hardware. A clean reformat and a reinstall of the OS would have been fine. The only exception is if the BIOS was corrupted, but then his computer would never have booted.

And if they hacked his old computer through the IP address, then there would be nothing to stop the hacker infecting his new computer, as most people with broadband have a static IP address.

So that's why I don't think he got hacked.

@Vpatel
I'm impressed with your answer.

@Vpatel Thanks for your explanation. I guess it was just a coincidence, then. 🙂

@BestWithoutGods You are correct though in that the people here are much friendlier. When I joined Facebook, it was all about photos of friends and family, and community. Now its all been replaced by corporate adverts, news websites sharing doom and gloom, etc. I feel more at home here too.

6

I think you’ve been pretty damaged by your experience on FB and now it’s time for you to heal. We are not haters here and we will listen and respond to your posts with courtesy, I feel sure I’m speaking for the other members too. We are here to listen to each other, not to judge...so don’t be so hard on yourself and try to settle in here...you are with friends.

5

I was banned from 'Zuckerbook' in April last year for 12 months for speaking out against ALL religions, my time in 'Zuckerbook' Gulag 17 was over in April this year and despite innumerable messages from 'Zuckerbook' telling me Ï'm free to return, etc," I've decided that I will not be going back even if the sun turns to ice.
In my very honest opinion, 'Zuckerbook' has become a very biased and over commercialized site filled with drivel, dribble and hate filled people for the most part.
My advice, stick with Agnostic.com where you will be most welcome and always will, for the most part at least, find good and decent people and friends aplenty.

4

I am not having that issue with fb and am still there, and here as well, but also have recently joined mewe.com, which is ad-free and new enough that it may take some dedication to turn it into something. Suggestion!: rejoin facebook. Join mewe. Ask mewe to invite your fb friends. Over time many will have migrated there. Be patient.

g

3

Not a lotta hate here, we disagree sometimes, but that is all it is, a disagreement.

3

Facebook algorithms are set up in a way to make you interact more . So if you are say pro vaccination you are more likely to comment on antivaxination posts as they are more likely to make you angry . . The algorithm looks for things that will make you have a reaction which means it looks at posts you commented on previously and sends more your way . So if you commented on a religious one it will send more religious themed stuff . It's really negative way to do things but it works for them as it gets people reacting even if it is in a horrible way

Correct. What they are doing is gathering information for polls and viewpoints, etc. I still confuse the hell out of them because I will not tell them Debbie is my step-daughter. I'm delighted that they do not know. With a handful of followers myself, FB musty be confused that they are from other religions and other countries. I am delighted that Agent Orange and his followers continue to tell me that I am not a U.S. citizen. My user name is the same as here.

3

Facebook is replete with problems. This site is infinitely superior although it is also not perfect. Life is too short to waste on the fools. Do your best to look forward. Peace.

3

Welcome to agnostic.com! 😊🤗

3

I've noticed that when I'm having a look at what's on my wall, facebook will automatically scroll to some advertisement that I have no interest in. It's clear that their only motivation is to promote garbage and sell our data.

2

I wish I could delete mine, but I post bird/wildlife photos on four different Facebook pages, my daughter only contacts me through Facebook messenger, and when I block offensive websites that pop up on my stream, they stay blocked, although things are getting so bad, I don't dare click on ANY link.

Even mainstream news websites immediately start downloading ads and cookies, bogging down my laptop in minutes so it can barely function and I have to shut it down.

One technique I use if I really want to read about the story is to type the headlines into google search, then choose a little known news website following the same story, but without trying to trash my computer with bots.

2

I still use Facebook daily. I have over 1000 friends, and I keep the political pot simmering. I understand the concern about data collection, but they know everything about me already.

2

I've found that clearing my FB history from time to time helps cut down on issues or people you are no longer interested in. Also, when browsing on a topic or product you don't want to see in your FB feed, use a private window, so your browser won't remember the topic you are researching, and therefore won't be relaying it to FB.

I don't know if any of the above is true, but that's what I do in my attempt not to get unwanted suggestions in my feed. Seems to work to some extent.

2

Although deleting comments that people have already replied to won't win you any fans.

2

I think there's something really broken with the algorithm on FB as others have said what you are saying - it's almost as if by viewing the content that's exactly the opposite - you end up seeing that stuff you don't want to see! Like they get it precisely WRONG.

You won't have to deal with ads here anyway. Use the block feature as needed. 😉

Really most folks aren't bitey and terrible.

Welcome!

2

PragerU, Donald Trump, Daily Blah blah blah.
All right-wing propaganda. The algorithm also favors right wing posts. My libertarian friend posts 50x a day and I've blocked off some of the Trolls he's reposting from, like Mike Cernovich.
I'm considering ditching FB too.

Keita Level 5 Nov 30, 2019

Thankfully I never had the need to be on Facebook.

Someone that fits the description of MC did the rounds on our local secular/Atheist telegram chat in South Africa this, degraded women, caused division, mocked logic and human rights, a twisted mind indeed,

1

That's great. I use FB to keep up with happenings, including atheist ones, but their relentless spying is quite annoying. Facebook Container for Firefox is pretty good for keeping down the mischief.

1

In leaving Facebook you have probably made a wise decision. The company has shown itself to be totally irresponsible in allowing false content to be spread around by actors who are hostile to democracy. It was just this type of content, originating in Russian military intelligence, that was so successful in sowing discord and division in the US that it won Trump the 2016 election and got people to vote for Brexit in the UK. Mark Zuckerberg has announced that Facebook will not take down demonstrably fake news, insisting that his company is not a publisher, but merely a platform. And Facebook executives know full well that the more outrageous the content, the more is shared, and the more their advertising income increases. It's all about money for them.

@powder
Hey its been a while since I last heard from you. Still peddling that Russia-friendly line of bullshit I see. You must really think we are all idiots. It is obvious that Putin's shenanigans, meddling in other countries politics, etc., has paid off spectacularly in terms of sowing division and discord among his opponents. With an American President bending over backwards for him, Putin has never had a stronger hand since his illegal annexation of Crimea and Invasion of eastern Ukraine. He has managed to get a few Republicans in Congress to repeat (with straight faces!) the fiction that it was Ukraine who hacked the 2016 election. It's quite an accomplishment! Of course, the sanctions are still biting. The Russian people have had a tough time. They are getting impatient with the Putin's kleptocracy. I'm sure Vlad is a bit nervous. It was never going to be a simple thing to get the sanctions lifted But Putin is crafty and patient and implacable. He is playing the long game, and doing it masterfully. I have to give him that. It would be a grave mistake to ever underestimate him. Actually I'm not surprised to hear from you, now that the 2020 election is just around the corner. It's about time for the snakes to wake up and start slithering around.

@powder
I think you wanted to say "woke people like you...." Don't worry, your English is quite good. You should be proud of your accomplishment. As for the ease with which Americans can be manipulated, it is not at all surprising. You see, in this country we have freedom of expression. People are allowed to say whatever they want within broad limits. And they are allowed to decide for themselves what they accept or reject. It's a messy system, and we have not yet learned how to deal with this new phenomenon called social media. But we are learning. Are we learning fast enough to avoid a takeover by criminals? One can only hope. Still, I would take this country any day over one like Putin's Russia, where journalists and political opponents are simply murdered or jailed on trumped-up charges.

@powder
Oh yeah, it's true that American people have been disenfranchised. Nothing new there. Mostly black people, getting screwed over by racist white Americans. There is no doubt that this country has much to account for. Like I said, it's a messy system. But it has the potential to be so much more. And much progress has been made. What we don't need is foreign influences like the 70,000 fake Facebook accounts run by Putin's Internet Research Agency, which were so adroitly targeted with the help of massive amounts if data supplied by Cambridge Analytica. But I think you have a much more intimate knowledge of that than you let on. What is your rank, if you don't mind my asking?

@Flyingsaucesir I can only see your half of this conversation and it was still wildly entertaining! 👍

@RavenCT
Wow, thanks for the compliment! I wish you could see the other side too. I wonder why you cannot. You probably gathered that my interlocutor and I had crossed paths before. It goes back to the days following the 2016 election. He consistently takes a pro-Russia/Trump position, denying what actually occurred while doing his best to obfuscate and distract from the real issues. He pretends to be an Aussie but I think he is a Russian military troll. His English has improved in the last three years, but he still slips up once in a while. To my querry about his rank he replied, "You can call me Tsar." (!)

@Flyingsaucesir He blocked me - that happens here a lot.H
But it's fun seeing someone poking holes in his conspiracy theories. 😁

@RavenCT
Blocked you? That sounds rather cowardly.

@Flyingsaucesir Give it a year or so and blocking will seem merciful. There's always some folks who will tell you the sky is green just to have an argument and than there are the ones with proof of some alternate color from some really strange resource they cherry picked.
In those cases where you realize you'll never change a mind because anything you cite is called bad science or fake news? Well let's just say I've used that block button. Endless futile debate isn't fun anymore.
But I do take the time to know the difference.

@RavenCT
I totally get it. It can seem like tilting at windmills, mixing it up with the peckerwoods. But sometimes I like the intellectual challenge. It can be better than a crossword puzzle. ☺

1

I deleted fakebook shortly after joining it about ten years ago. Since it's based on people I knew all I was getting was lots of right wing and religious garbage.
As someone posted below the block button on this site is your friend. I block trolls and trumpers without hesitation. It makes my life more peaceful.

1

Welcome, essentially left FB, almost a year ago, I still have some friends that only contact me that way, so i check it with some regularity. I couldn't handle the political discourse (primarily from my extended family). Sorry that it was so painful for you, come in join some groups and get into some pretty good discussions as well as some lighthearted (and some dark) comedy.

Why is FB the only way of getting in touch with family? They can send you pics on other social media platforms and you can do video calls from time to time. Unless you do not wish to share your mobile number with those family members. I am not looking for anyone and not interested in anyone looking for me. I'm always in contact with those I know and visa versa.

@TimeOutForMe I have a large extended family, that the only communication is when someone dies, when we are having a reunion or someone has been born. All times when mass communication works best, FB is easy for these types of communications and you don't have to depend on someone remembering to include everyone that might be concerned.
And yes there are some people that might need to contact me that i don't want to have my cell number, I was in business for 30+ years before i retired and once in a while there are somethings that I am willing to help on. I have wseveral younger friends that even though they have my phone number use messenger to contact me.

@glennlab
I guess for that large a family perhaps FB works for you then and as you say don't want to leave anyone out.
...as that my cause problems even if wasn't intended.

1

I deleted my facebook account 18 months ago. It got too toxic.

1

I use FB for business to buy and sell Guitars that I make. So not an option to quit. My scroll down button has the arrow worn off though.

1

..don’t know that I understood all that, but you’re the second person in as many days I’ve heard closed their facebook account… I’d understand, and consider the same.

Having worked within school districts, we’d been advised to ‘lock down’ our fb pages to the extent possible … to keep students from messing with us.. So I did. Suppose I’ve been so selective with ‘friends’ that any religious pushers or trump supporters are long gone from my page.

...I’ve heard little of it ..as I think it was on the BBC’s radio broadcast (that I’ll use to sleep) ..isn’t the guy who started Wikipedia starting a social networking site..? Having donated to Wiki, I hear from ‘him’ often. Maybe that’s worth checking into … not to discount ‘Here’ 😉

Varn Level 8 Nov 30, 2019
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