That is one tough spot, I am sure there will be some good advise here. We are here for you. You can always say "you'll consider it", until you are away from the religious group. As for your marriage, take care of you first and be safe. Good luck

So sorry to hear of your dreadful familial experiences. I have had a family member convert to Christianity from atheism. I handle this by limiting my discussion on the subject. They live many miles away however. My situation sounds much simpler than yours. I wish you the best.

To them it is their job to save you. Their book tells them so. I'm not sure I can help. I helped save everyone and then I became atheist. Most of my family isn't happy either.

I would just say that if their god is as forgiving as we've been told, then we're all going to be alright, right? I appreciate your struggle, as I've had to lie...tell family members what they want to hear, just to move the conversation fwd.

They consider this their duty according to their religion. You will never change that. You can't argue for your opinion as that will be a waste of energy. You may just have to spend as little time as possible interacting with them in order to keep your sanity. Could you just tell them that you respect their right to their views and leave it at that? They aren't going to respect yours in return but maybe you could find some solace in the fact that you are acting as the compassionate one. For me, I respect other's rights to think as they choose, I may not agree nor respect the way they choose to act on their beliefs but I'm wasting precious energy to argue it. And it sounds like you need all of your energy to remove yourself from an abusive marriage. Sometimes the best support comes from those who are not your blood family

Get out of that toxic environment asap.

It's a horrible situation, and it sounds like you are the lightning rod for the huge amount of grief and tension that is shot through your family right now.
This may sound weird, but maybe try to apologise to your mum. NOT for being who you are, be proud of that. But tell her your sorry that it causes her pain, and that was never your intention.
She probably sees your rejection of something she holds so dear as a failure on her part, so maybe try to tell her about the positive things you have gained from your relationship. Shit, I hope there are some.
Anyhoo, wishing you strength and endurance from the other side of the pond.

My father gave me this advice many years ago and I use it with him, which pisses him off. Smile, agree, and do what you want anyway. No one can live your life but you. You do not need to validate your beliefs, or non beliefs, to people who, you know, will not accept your views. I have developed a thick skin and don't really care what others think of me. I make my own way in this world and I don't owe anyone any explanation. If someone wants to have an honest, civil conversation about religion then I'm all for that. At this stage in your mothers life you probably won't be able to change her mind and getting her to see your point will be just as challenging.

I have many christian friends who I would not get into a religious debate with because I know their faith is so ingrained they will not accept anything I have to say. Because I value them as a friend and love them I stay off that topic. I'm lucky in that my immediate family is agnostic/atheist or on the fence. I do have some family that are religious fanatics (one cousin in particular) but I just smile, nod my head, and do my own thing. It's just not worth it sometimes, pick your battles.

Just smile, agree, and do your own thing. For what it's worth, that's my advice

Just say “ok” and change the subject. It’s ok, I here you, I understand how you feel, thank you. Once that’s out there say, I’m not going to discuss religion or politics... I would add politics because the religious like to link the two. “Ok” Defuses while taking the wind out of their sails, ... What you’re doing is letting them know that you hear them and you understand their concern and did you see that great picture Tommy did that’s on the refrigerator? Do we have any pie left? Do you think a canoe trip would be fun this summer? ... in other words, you need to be asking some of the questions and not let other people determine the direction of the conversation. If you can take it to a place where those things are simply not discussed you will have essentially agreed to disagree.

I made it clear to my family early on that I would NOT discuss religion in any shape, way, form or fashion with them. I told the if they started such a conversation, I would walk away. After a couple abrupt departures, they realized I was serious. In this fashion we were able to communicate, speak, banter, etc. but it never became any kind of argument about God or Christ or The Bible, which surely would have ended with harsh words or more.