Why don't old, liberal atheist men corner me a Walmart instead of old, conspiracy theorist Christian men suffering from the Kruger Dunning Effect?
Speaking from just my small circle of old, atheist, liberal men: We don't go to Walmart.
@Gwendolyn2018 Naah, we can come up with a much better meeting place. I like to use coffee shops for my first dates.
@mischl I met one of my former boyfriends at a Walmart.
And I am not looking to date, but apparently, my "failing" is that I am friendly and speak to people. Some men do not understand the difference between friendliness and flirting.
@Gwendolyn2018 Your observation is (unfortunately) quite correct. So many men will take any opening (pardon the pun) to hit on a woman. I'm so glad I had a mentor when I was a teenager who taught me how to be "cool" about approaching women.
@mischl I met my last two boyfriends in public places--they knew how to approach a woman. It is not as I were opposed to be approached, but presentation is everything. Now, though, I do not want to date, but most men do.
@Gwendolyn2018 That last sentence is painfully correct. At our ages (yours and mine), typically the female desire falls off much faster. Even though I have a wonderful partner, she encourages me to avail myself of the Asian ladies here who provide relief at a reasonable price.
@mischl you assume that I do not want to date due to sex? No offense, but I am not surprised as that is what most men seem to focus on.
However, that is not "it" at all: I find that most men near my age want to get married, not just "date." My last two boyfriends did (who were both several years younger than I am) wanted to get married or live together. In fact, I saw one in a store recently and it was clear that he would love to "get together," but he wants marriage, not to date.
I do not want to live with anyone, much less with an older man who expects a woman to cook and clean for him. I value my time, being alone, and doing what I want when I want. I am a recluse by choice and nature, and dating means accommodating another person even if it means just getting together often, and frankly, I don't want to!
@Gwendolyn2018 It's good that you have a clear picture of how you want you life to play out. My "contract" with my S.O. is much more mutually beneficial than most. We serve each other in a way that both of us are happy with. Also, we share the cooking & cleaning in a way that we both like. Essentially, nobody has to do anything they don't want to do. Sometimes we're both just lazy as hell. But sometimes we have the energy to do stuff.
@mischl couple should do what the agreed upon and beneficial!
My last BF (I broke it off about five years ago) stayed with me for three weeks when we were dating when he moved from a house to an apartment. He slept in the spare bedroom as I do not like to sleep with anyone. He drove me crazy, but not because he did anything annoying: just knowing he was in the house was bothersome.
@Gwendolyn2018 <<just knowing he was in the house was bothersome>> Yes, I have also known people whose very presence was irritating. But then, I also get a little lonesome after a certain period of time along. After about a week, something clicks inside and I start feeling like I want to feel somebody.
@mischl I don't get lonesome--I occasionally get bored and have to find something "to do," but doing it alone is fine.
I see more of my grandkids than I do anyone else, and they are quite enough company when school is out. However, now that school is back in session, I will miss them.
Try the public library, the ones there are more likely to be literate. I used to volunteer, they loved that I could shelve the non-fiction using the Dewey Decimal system hahahahahahahaha. But seriously, I met some interesting people, one of them retired from the Jet Propulsion Lab. As a bonus you can filter them by the books they choose.
But I am not seeking anyone! Friends would be fine, but I find most men do not want platonic friends nor do they have anything in common with me.
@Gwendolyn2018 I am upfront with men that I know would not be suitable as romantic partners and have made good platonic friends with a few. Honesty is the key.
@MizJ I cannot tell you how many men whom I told that I did NOT want a relationship with them asked, "Can we at least be friends?" The ones to whom I said, "Maybe," only wanted to be friends so they could try to convince me to change my mind.
Having said that, I have had some good male friends and still one local today.
@Gwendolyn2018 Sometimes it works, sometimes not. I know it's a possible friend if they look me in the eye and not stare at my chest. Second requirement is not mansplaining. Third is returning my power tools.
@MizJ I had a platonic friend for many years; we both taught at my local school. After years of friendship, he said, "Gwen, how come we never hooked up?"
After all that time, he still had "it" in the back of his head. No, it did not go further.
My male friends never mansplained to me, but it is anathema when a man does.
I will never loan my vacuum cleaner to any man, ever, again.
@Gwendolyn2018 Maybe they forget about "it" when they see the compound miter (chop) saw in my garage.
One of my platonic male friends got married and his wife is suspicious. I laugh and tell her that if we haven't gone there after 17 years it's safe to leave us alone. I was happy he found someone.
We have a Walmart Super-Center in Wasilla AK and I only shop there once a month for 1 item nobody else has... and they are always out of cool, liberal, atheist, women... go figure?
Because old liberal atheists men, are wise enough to know, that cornering people is rude and counter productive ?
Maybe . . . I find that some men, regardless of their beliefs in any arena, don't mind cornering women.
People tend to gravitate towards what they need rather than what they already have. I don't know you but I would guess that you posses qualities and attributes that these men severely lack.
Take me, for example. I do OK monetarily speaking. I have quite a bit of empathy and as a younger man, empathy without boundaries. That's a perfect fit for a narcissist and that's what I ended up with. Someone interested in money and someone that could be manipulated and who's energy could be raped from them to feed the narc's own severely damaged ego. I had exactly what she needed. Problem is she had little that I needed. She needed help and I was a people pleaser so that worked for me at that time in my life. However had I known what a narcissists was at that time and knew she was one I'd had run like hell.
It takes a lot of time and patience to run across someone who is on the same level. Most potential partners we run across are people that NEED something from us. It's not about a simple desire to share and be equal. It's usually more about domination to feed their own pathetic egos.
This day and age it's hard to run across someone who is mentally and emotionally fit and available.
Men who hit on me assume that I am seeking what they seek: a partner. I do not even want to date, much less have a partner. I have not only reached a stage where I do not "need" someone, but I don't want anyone. I would welcome platonic friends with similar interests, but the "similar interests" is the stickler.
@Gwendolyn2018 I'm currently of much the same mind. I would much prefer platonic friendship over a romantic one. Maybe that will change as time goes by, who knows. All I can say is rubbing my dick against someone and all that entails is not my major preoccupation at this stage for me.
As it is I'm still somewhat young and if I need sexual gratification I can get it but I'm not willing to give up more than a few minutes of my day for it. I've got women that are interested in me sexually and I'm sure you have plenty of men interested in you sexually. Big fucking deal, right? Doesn't hold my interest for more than say....well I won't say for how long I last but it's not very long in the scheme of things. lol
@FvckY0u tsk--you can say, "All I can say is rubbing my dick against someone and all that entails is not my major preoccupation at this stage for me" but "gratify" is too much information? And did you stop to think that maybe I meant "gratify" my needs and wants in a nonsexual manner?
@Gwendolyn2018 No, I didn't think nonsexual at all. I typically overshare, it's no surprise to anyone that has ever engaged in conversation with me. If you find it off putting you can simply say so. There's no reason to take any offense, none was intended.
@FvckY0u I am not offended, but if I were, it would be over your comment of too much information and yet, you used "gratification" and outright named it "sexual." Smacks of a double standard and hypocrisy. I was more amused than anything else but then, I am used to men having double standards.
@Gwendolyn2018 Fortunately you'll be too old or dead by the time your grandson becomes a man and you start hating him as well.
@FvckY0u I will give you enough time to read this, and then, I will block you. You are a mean, ill-tempered human being (forget the male/female issues) who expects people to overlook your meanness as if you are somehow special and to be forgiven for your foibles.
I actually felt a measure of sympathy for you as you are obviously a cross between a small, abused boy combined with a rebellious teenager caught in a man's body. However, given my great age, I don't have the time to be bothered with your whining.
Maybe you're just not shopping at the right Walmart dear
Well, if I ever see you at Wally's I'll be sure to say hello!
I have little choice but to avoid Walmart since there isn’t one in my county, nor in the other two adjoining counties here in the SF Bay Area.
When I lived in Humboldt County 24 years ago, there was no Walmart there, either. The got one in about ten or so years ago. The liberals tried to keep out big box stores, but when the stores in the mall started going out of business or leaving, the financial gains outweighed other aspects. When I moved to Missouri, Walmart was almost unknown to me. I worked there for two years after I moved. I do not like WM, but the convenience and prices of groceries keep me shopping there.
Could be because liberal men avoid Walmart as much as possible too.
cuz it's Walmart?
It happens elsewhere, too! It was just WM today. I think it's more the area in which I live.
@Gwendolyn2018 Unfortuanantly, I fear that trait of the area in which you live is largely representative of the curent state of our nation.
@NoMagicCookie it is very much a trait of the area in which I live. This is one reason why I am reclusive.
You look too kind and approachable. Maybe if you had a "Karen" haircut and wore sunglasses inside
I have asked male friends about the issue and they say what you say: I look approachable. My sister once told me that I need to stop smiling at everyone, but it is not within my nature. I can be quite verbally blunt when I need to be, though!
I never corner women anywhere.
Good for you! I don't think men like this guy yesterday see it as "cornering" women: they think that women just naturally want to hear what they have to say.
I also noticed that he was talking to another woman in the produce department and she was laughing. Maybe they hit it off.
I'm proud to say I have never set-foot in any Walmart.
The Bible is full of references to long flowing tresses so maybe you are just picking up those Xstian dudes who grew up with a long hair fetish - it certainly seemed to work for Crystal Gayle. My wife has longish hair, past her shoulders and she gets a lot of looks from the local men who's wives have long since moved to the football helmet cut as it is easier to maintain and discourages unwanted advances.
Just a theory and like all theories it may be off the mark.
It is not just Xtian men who are attracted to long hair! It goes beyond the religious aspect and yes, it a major draw. It also makes men think that I am younger than I am, despite my wrinkles.
Because they just don’t read cues. Why they vote for the most unqualified candidates they can find.
I have said the same many, many times. I had my grandson with me and keep inching away, apologizing to people as he was blocking the aisle. He didn't stop until he told me that "something big" was going to happen and it had to do with Jesus. At that point, I said, "I'm an atheist" and with grandson in tow, walked away. I regret being as polite as I was.
I go to Target
Target is more than 1/2 hour away--two Walmarts are less than ten minutes. Convenience wins!
However, I go to Aldi, too.
I wonder if in addition to it being a number's game (more theists then atheists) if a flawed (entitled) mindset of many male theists, (man is better then woman therefore woman needs a man to be complete because god endorses the man to be the leader over women. The old “Thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.” (Gen. 3:16.) Some feel this is demeaning to women, and some men use it as an excuse to exercise unrighteous dominion.
Some men, and old men in particular (said from the viewpoint of an old woman), think that ALL single women are on the prowl for a husband. When I was on dating sites, I often had men whom I refused tell me that I was going to wind up old and alone because I was too picky. I am old and alone, and it is by choice. They also told me that I was not a spring chicken and my looks would go--yeah, I wanted a man who judged me by my looks, for sure.
You have just been unlucky.
There are no liberal men in Missouri.
The evangelical mindset is by nature rude and pushy since the point is forcing your beliefs on others; there is also the quirk of human nature that the less confidence you have in your position the more you will defend it. For example, it's old school common sense that rather than disapprove of a child's dating choices, it's better to stand back and let them figure it out for themselves.
I do not let the guys try to convert me--when this guy said that "something big" was coming and it was going to be sent by god, I stopped inching away from him and walked away. I had already wasted five minutes of my time by being polite.
I’d corner you to ask your opinion on a ripe melon.
And I could give you some good advice! Hit the melon with the flat of your palm. If it resonates like a stomach full of water, it is ripe. I have other melon tips, too.
I go to Walmart but not the one in Springfield.
I feel like you are looking for a diamond in a land mine. Or more aptly to much of the sticks in America (or Canada for that matter), a needle in a haystack.
I am not looking for anyone as I have no desire to date or, shudder, have a relationship/get married. This man--among others--kept talking to me even as I walked away after saying, "Uh-huh" for a polite few minutes. They seem to think that I am interested in what they have to say and hell bent on telling me. Asking why liberal atheist men don't corner me is sarcasm.
They are typically "mansplainers," i.e. the guy who gave me a lecture on refinishing cedar chests even though I told him I knew how to do so. When I asked him if he had ever refinished one, he replied in the negative, but that didn't keep him from telling me how to do so. He also waxed on how to quilt when I said I was going to store quilts I had made in the chest. He wasn't a quilter, either. I was a captive audience for that one as I was waiting for an employee to help me move the chest to my car.
Since I shop there, you need to start.