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A pastor told me today that he is sorry that I have not felt the love of god. Pastor, I am the one who is sorry.
I'm sorry you believe a god who does not seem interested in loving everyone.
I'm sorry you feel the need to apologize for this "all loving" creator.
I'm sorry your religion would have you believe people are incapable of loving each other without this watch-dog divinity.
I'm sorry your happiness in this life relies on hope of the next.
I'm sorry you can't see that we don't need a god to be good, or loved.
I'm sorry for all the wonder your faith would have you ignore in favor of fairy tales.
For all the confusion in doctrine.
For lies of zealouts.
For the guilt brought on by your own humanity.
For all the delusions your mind has been forced through fear to accept, you have my deepest sympathies.

By Foxonaut
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180 comments

59

Is your 'god' so shallow that he needs everybody to love him? I am a little worried that your god is stalking me. Should I file a report?

JohnnyThorazine Level 7 Dec 8, 2017
Reply

#Exactly! Sounds pretty needy if you ask me.

@BettyColeman haha! Out damn spot! OUT! You should respond to all the messages as if they were written to you...if you promise to do that, I will totally follow you!

I'm so confused by that exchange lol@JohnnyThorazine

@DelilahJones33 I was just teasing the father figure/all seeing eye concept of god, and got a 'ear' full...hehe...but I loved the fire and brimstone that the message was delivered with...not sure where it was aimed at...hehe

Yeah that’s where my confusion came from too lol@JohnnyThorazine

@JohnnyThorazine /follow me Johnny you must be a stalker.

I would for it is probably someone in here.

@BettyColeman haha! Consider yourself stalked...but only reasonably stalked...like during proper stalking hours...let's say, 2-3 pm on alternating, dewey decimating wednesday if both parties agree...I find one sided stalking so...lonely....hehe

35

Logic never works on these guys. I find that if you gently mock them, that helps.

Pastor: Have you met Jesus?
Ben: Of course, I'm dating his dad.

Pastor: I'm sorry that you've never felt the love of God.
Ben: I'm sorry that you haven't either. Or experience the love of Zeus, or gotten to kiss Eros on the mouth.

Pastor: You're going straight to hell.
Ben: Pastor, of all the ways I'm going to hell, "STRAIGHT" is not one of them.

Pastor: Jesus loves you.
Ben: Yah, but he's two thousand years old and still lives at home.

Pastor: Jesus sent me to you.
Ben: I'm not surprise, Heaven always did have it out for me.

Benthoven Level 8 Jan 9, 2018
Reply

Awesome LOL

31

He only said sorry to your face. In his mind he is thinking "smug little bastard! I'm going to enjoy watching you burn for eternity. Nha nha nah nah nah!"

IndridCold Level 4 Dec 8, 2017
Reply

I may burn but there is no eternity. Stop trying to label me Christian. i am not.

@BettyColeman
I say your spiritual rather than Religious.

25

The preacher told me I was going straight to hell. I'm like “Hellooh <finger snap and palm in your face denial>! There may be a lot of ways I'm going to hell, but ‘straight’ isn't one of them.”

Benthoven Level 8 Dec 8, 2017
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20

"he is sorry that I have not felt the love of god" - just like all the alter boys have?

AtheistInNC Level 7 Dec 8, 2017
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17

It's sad when people's lives are so empty that they have to resort to imaginary friends to feel loved; and sadder still when they earn their livings trying to convince others to buy into the delusion.

JimG Level 8 Feb 3, 2018
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17

We don't need his pity.

Mr_Dj Level 5 Dec 8, 2017
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16

Sorry for your living with the belief that your friends or family might be eternally punished for morally irrelevant and finite things.

SocraticAddict Level 6 Dec 20, 2017
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13

We are so lucky to have this site to say what we feel and meet so many with more or less the same principles....good for you...

CeciRosane60 Level 7 Jan 11, 2018
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11

Omniscient, all powerful, and he STILL wants y/our money!!!

BobFenner Level 7 Jan 18, 2018
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9

Well, I'll be saving that for Facebook!!

Zoidburg Level 5 Jan 9, 2018
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Lol @Zoidburg Isn't that casting pearls to swine?

Edited
9

great job. the only thing missing is the look on his face. lmao

MichaelSpinler Level 8 Dec 13, 2017
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9

Well-stated. Clear, grounded, and unequivocal.

wordywalt Level 8 Dec 8, 2017
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8

I love your reply to him.

Did you actually get to say all that?

DeeTee Level 7 Dec 8, 2017
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8

“watch-dog divinity” -- laughing out loud.. I’m learning fun terms and new phrases every day around here! smile001.gif

Varn Level 8 Dec 8, 2017
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8

Very well said!

irascible Level 8 Dec 8, 2017
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8

Very well put!

Plainjane Level 7 Dec 8, 2017
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8

That's a lot to say at one time... very good. Proud of you standing your ground.

BucketlistBob Level 8 Dec 8, 2017
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7

I always want to respond to that line of talk with "I am sorry you're wasting your life misleading and wasting other people's lives with your faith in your religious fantasty." But I don't out of respect for freedom to do whatever stupid thing you want with your time on this rock.

DerekDerek Level 4 Apr 6, 2018
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7

fuck that's brilliant

LeighShelton Level 8 Jan 28, 2018
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7

Best antI-relIgIon speech ever !!!!!

Duchess Level 6 Jan 16, 2018
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7

brilliant well said

LeighShelton Level 8 Dec 9, 2017
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7

I like the attitude of your approach, because I use something similar once in a while and find it quite effective. Go Git Um Tiger.

TommyMeador Level 7 Dec 8, 2017
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Yah - give 'em their Hell!

6

Your god's an asshole.

BufftonBeotch Level 7 Aug 20, 2018
Reply

I agree, completely......look at what he did to his son!!!

6

Here is my standard answer, " I'm sorry you don't take Zeus more seriously.

LeeSpaner1 Level 4 June 23, 2018
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