I think a better question would be 'Is it selfish of people to blame a person who commits suicide for their loss of that person?' The person who suicides is simply no longer alive but the sense of pain and loss that some people feel as a result of that person no longer being there can be great but it is their choice too on how to deal with that.
I've lost people in this life and it has often been a painful experience, especially when I was younger and didn't know how to deal with it. Blaming the person who opts to end their life by suicide is essentially blaming the victim, at least in my opinion.
I wrote my suicide note last year. No one tells you how hard it is - what do you say? I mean, it's your final statement, right? So you want it to be completely on message.
I then spent a comfortable hour in a hot bath with my weapon of choice - a box cutter - until I decided it was not for me. Not at that time, anyway.
And I burned that fucking note to ashes.
No, I don't judge anyone who voluntarily checks out.
People take their own lives for many different reasons. About eighteen months ago, my sixteen year old grandson went to all lengths to find a way to take his own life. His wonderful birth mother had told my daughter about the long history of deep depression and frequent suicides in her family. Sure enough, our boy began showing signs of depression before he even started kindergarten. Everything in the world was done to help him. Despite having loving, involved parents, seeing a therapist he adored, and taking medication with no ill effects, he could not escape whatever it was that tormented him. He left several different notes ~ for his parents, his friends, his girlfriend, and even for law enforcement ~ requesting his parents not be blamed as they had been wonderful to him and were in no way responsible for his decision. My daughter and her husband are, of course, shattered but my daughter (more than my son-in-law) is also relieved for her child, saying, "I miss him terribly but I'm glad he's out of pain." I can't think of suicide as cowardly: I can only think of it as desperation.
False. Suicide may the only way to get rid of the pain that made you feel this way. It's a persons choice to live or commit suicide. There were a number of times I considered committing suicide in my 30s. I felt alone, because no one outside of family cared that I was on this planet. I'm glad I found reasons to live, but it's not cowardly to do so.
When someone is depressed they are at risk for suicide, and it is not a matter of cowardice, it is a matter of your brain going to a really dark place where you don't - literally - see the light at the end of the tunnel. In those cases it is not a matter about being a "coward" about facing life, it's about this intense sense of "hopelessness" brought on by their depression. If you've never felt it, then it's hard to understand what that is like and how that can cause someone to take his/her life. It's tragic because those who manage to do it, I suspect, they where trying not so much to end their lives, but to end that hopelessness in their lives. Many come to think that ending their lives is the only way to end the hopelessness inside. It is extremely hard to reason properly and maintain perspective when in a deep depression. That I know. That is why depression is dangerous and must be treated head on.
Then there are those who want "medical" suicide due to some terminal illness, and they just want to die with dignity. Neither case needs "judgment." What is needed is a greater understanding of the phenomena in either case.
Much like any other bodily autonomy/medical care question the answer is No. It is ultimately the decision of the individual. Yes they may leave pain and sorrow behind them when they go but ultimately it is THEIR life and THEIR death. It is no one else's decision or place to judge.
Anyone who claims that suicide is cowardly is not even being logical. A COWARD, by definition, would never be able to commit the act of suicide.... OUT OF COWARDLINESS!!!
I suffered suicidal postpartum depression. When the pain of living is greater than the pain of dying; suicide seems like the only way out......and it makes you BRAVE enough to end your pain. If you are fortunate enough to have never felt that kind of pain; consider yourself lucky and DO NOT JUDGE!!!!!
I don't think people who are suicidal need to be judged. Suicide happens when the pain is so bad you cannot imagine a way out. It is mental illness. Until you have been there you will never understand, and I wouldn't wish that pain on anyone.
"Cowardly" is such an insult. I've been thinking about your question since I replied (below) in the terms of what ''bravery'' really means. It means being afraid to do something but doing it anyway, because you're convinced it's the right thing to do. People at such a terribly low point are obviously as afraid of death as anyone might be...but they do it anyway, just to shut off their demons...or the knowledge of a long, painful death opening ahead of them. Faced with that prospect, I will absolutely kill myself...and die on my own terms.
Here is how I see this question.
Is divorcing a forced marriage a cowardly move or not?
A lot of forced marriages do not end up in divorce because not always the relationship is bad.
People used to marry this way for thousands of years. Having a right to divorce is a very important right because in a lot of cases forced marriages are bad.
Same thing is with life nobody gave consent to be born into this life. Some may have a really bad life with lots of suffering in that case of course is important to have the ability to choose to die in dignity. It is sad that nowdays someone has to travel as far as Switzerland to have the right to divorce life.
Neither it's a symptom if an illness. It's like asking if hypoglycaemia is cowardly. People left behind have unanswered questions that they can't resolve it leads to anger and frustration. We like to blame and we like to solve puzzles. You did it because you're a coward is an easy answer but it resolves nothing.
I'm not sure what the motivation for a question like this might be, but dealing with depression is a very difficult way to go through life. So in a since, both staying in... or choosing to leave... can both be 'acts of courage,' or even 'cowardice.' Though I would never call them that. Living and dying are both acts of courage.
The police officer handling the case of my daughter had seen suicides before. He called it, "When the demon comes", meaning that dark hopeless, desperate moment most people end their life. He told me about one young mother who killed herself in he bedroom with her baby in the crib next to the bed. The husband found her.
Anthony Bourdain hung himself with a belt from a bathrobe in a hotel in France, when the demon comes(I thought) is a pretty good expression of the hopelessness & desperation of the moment.
And last. If you see someone in pain try to help them. There's a national suicide prevention hotline @ 1 800-273-8255
Most always suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem.