So, what kind of spouse are you/would you be (or partner, if marriage isn't your thing)?
When I met my husband, I didn't pull any stops. I ate the way I normally eat. Maybe with a little spaghetti on my face sometimes and I didn't sugar coat anything. No surprises.
I asked my husband, "if you could change one thing about me, what would it be?" He said "you ask too many questions... like that one." :\
So, what should a person know about you, if they were to live with you (legal documents or no).
Here is mine:
Oh and I'm pretty sure my feet are made of ice. Chiseled ice cubes.
I sleep with my dog.. I snore and he kicks and farts.
My work schedule is a disaster.days and some overnights.
I hate kids and use words like rug rats, nose miners,breeders, and breeding.
I use bad language often.
I call men who like traditional ultra feminine women kitten fuckers. Obviously I'm not a Ultra traditional feminine female
So, here are a few things about me....
I would enter into a long term relationship if I met the right guy. Even relocate.
1.I love animals. If I moved would probably let my daughter stay in my house with my dog and cat.
My partner would have animals. A horse and/or farm animals would be a bonus. My father grew u p up on a farm and I've always wanted to live on a farm or ranch.
2.I'm a very tactile person - like physical intimacy.
I'm afraid of fire. I can't light a match.
I am not -mechanical or media savy.
I yell at my tv when tRUMP says something stupid.
Aside from what is already on my profile, I don't want to marry again. It would take a lot for me to consider cohabitating, but I would enter at some point into a dedicated monogamous relationship with the right person and I'm down for sleepovers.
I try to stay balanced in all areas of my life. I am a fairly independent person (but I struggle with some of my cleaning chores now though, and it's driving me crazy.)
I repurpose a lot of things, and usually have some kind of craft project going on. I do spring and fall cleaning/ organizing purges, and at one point kept a garden. I don't mind "living" in my house during the downtime and when folks are there, but I want most often to wake up to a clean de-cluttered and organized house. (I can be distracted from that under the right circumstances.) My home is smoke-free. Contact with tobacco smoke causes me to get bronchitis, even if it's on your clothing, so if you smoke I cannot date you.
I'm a nocturnal person that sleeps by day and functions by night. I sleep on my side, and yes I snore. I love pillow talk. In privacy, I'm a cuddler both in and out of bed. I give massages, and I love wake-up sex. I love 'presence' and you will be given my full attention when you are there, but I also need my alone time.
I don't have cable for my TV. I like my quiet peaceful apt, and most often I will wait to go out for the more boisterous and rowdy activities. On occasions, I do have small gatherings with friends though, and will expect your friends, and family to eventually become a part of that also. I still hostess a pretty good live-streamed Superbowl party.
I love children, but they drain my energy nowadays. I function with them best if I can have structured planned time for interacting with them, and if younger than teen years, preferably if accompanied by parents. (Emergencies are the exception.) I am at a stage where if I date someone with children they need to be grown.
I like to cook, and I also eat meat. I will try most things. I cannot eat some of my favorite foods. I like to go out to restaurants and find activities to do on paydays when money comes in though. I would pamper and spoil you to the best of my ability, but I would also expect you to help me with things like heavy lifting, opening jar lids, and getting things from the top shelf.
I'm recovering from the flu now and had to turn down an opportunity, but I travel at the drop of the hat at almost every opportunity if I know a person well enough to trust them.
I have a few phobias... like spiders...and... spiders. (Did I happen to mention spiders?)
I have an agreement with bugs. As long as they remain in their own habitat, I will respect them and try not to disturb them. When they enter into my domain, they are risking their own life.
I need a certain amount of alone time, depends on the day I have had or the project that has my attention.
I rarely watch TV.
The cat IS a person. She is my baby
I think I snore, I'm not sure because no one has complained of my snoring in a very long time, but then I've slept alone for a very long time.
Respect my kids.
There is a radio on somewhere in the house at all times. I have tinnitus, I keep the radio on to mask the ear noise. Sometimes it doesn't work. And frequently more than one radio.
No TV in the bedroom and I sleep with white noise and the ceiling fan on. Well, try to sleep.
I read lots of books, and sometimes stay up too late reading books. I read in bed.
I have very relaxed housekeeping standards.
I will never marry again, it would mess things up financially. However I am open to a very long term shack up. Why marry?
Don't leave the lid up.
1, I will spontaneously burst into Elvis / Dean Martin impersonations.
2. If sat in front of a log fire I will fall asleep.
3. The love for my classic car is matched only by a mother's love.
4. My cats name is Princess Badgerpuss, get over it, she has.
5. I will be in my workshop in my spare time, but don't worry, I'm probably handcrafting you a gift.
In fairness to the victim. I was married for 19 years (including 2 years of legal separation). All while in the Military. I did 2 unaccompanied tours in Europe, 3 6 month Mediterranean Deployments, 2 North Atlantics, Numerous Drug Ops, Exercises, Refresher Trainings, Schools out of the area of residence. I was absent often just as any other Navy guy. THAT GUY IS IN THE PAST AS THAT MARRIAGE. i am Retired, not raising any children and with a very relaxed perspective of Life during Phase 3 of my life. Different Guy... even me wouldn't even know how much Fun I could be Now... specially with the Right Partner to take all that Fun Out of My Body!!!! If she can't dance... I can teach her... if I can't I know an ex GF that performs Miracles. But Buyer Be Aware... I Like Sex and Making Love and don't mind Foreplay!!!! What will be Ridiculous about Me? Too Many Nice Shoes.
I am and can be passionate about some topics as religion & the Environment. I can get on my high horse but it is easy to bring me down .
Also need alone times and can feel frustrated when someone places an inordinate amount of need on my time.
3.I am often a creature of habit. Time to bed and rise (early). Meal times especially not late at night.
Absolute need to share open and honest feelings (emotionally and physically). Don't like to play guessing games.
I hate clutter and too much stuff. I need a clean, tidy home (which I am willing to maintain).
I don't like too much heat and keep the house cooler (around 66 degrees)
Dietary habits are important to me and am a pretty strict pescatarian. I like to cook and don't mind being the main preparer of meals.
I like to shower (in the summer) outside and pee outside all year around.
I need a dark/ cool/quiet - no snoring- bedroom with no TV and no electric blankets.
I hate rats in the crawl space (like I had 2 years ago - the alpha females are the smartest and worst).
I am an introvert and hate confrontation. That doesn't seem to work well with cohabiting. I think living alone works best for me. Me and my Lady of 27 years live separately in our own houses. I think what she sees in me is a kind, honest, loving, generous and loyal man, with a good sense of humor.
I'm probably not a good choice because I do the following.
I haven't been a spouse in over 10 years and I've grown accustomed to life without a partner. There would be competition with my alone time, so if they won that competition, they would expect:
My children are my primaries in life, always, but especially until they have their own lives living on their own. Also, they have an actively engaged father in their lives, and he and I get along fairly well. His parents have stepped in and love me unconditionally after the death of my folks. They will always be a part of my life.
R.E.S.P.E.C.T. you'll find out what it means to me--including but not limited to the ability to clean up your person and your space without my help. I have children to whom this is taught, I do not need to teach this to a grown man.
I give 110% in a relationship and perhaps the reason they don't last is that I expect the same in return. I haven't "answered" to someone in years, that may or may not be easy.
I have a serious aversion and physical reaction to loud noises and voices. So don't.
I like it when a plan comes together. I am working on not being rigid or bothered when plans change. I do like to plan a day of spontaneity though.
I despise horror films, pranking people, most rap music and country music. I do have a great sense of humor and comedic timing.
I take the time to appreciate little things. I actually will comment throughout a day on little things I notice and try looking through a different perspective.
I am allergic to animal dander. I am not a lover of cats. I do like dogs; however, I feel that dogs should not be alone all day/night, and just be convenient for the owner. It's a HUGE commitment that requires enormous time and energy. Also, I don't think it's fair to the animal if the owner cannot financially manage medical expenses. Oh and I have no interest in cold blooded creatures without arms and legs that slither or need to be heated on rocks. Same goes for more than four legged creatures or ones that fly or require a perch.
I listen to music almost constantly.
I eat three healthy, usually home made squares per day (breakfast is a must!).
My most hated chore is cleaning the dishes, though I do it promptly because I abhor bad smells.
I am an unapologetic cat person.
I love comedies, romance, fragrances, and modern art.
I can live without TV or sports, though can compromise.
I am straight edged - avoiding all intoxicants.
I find most things funny, even things that I probably aught not.
I look the same upon rising as I did going to bed (wear minimal make-up).
I am a night owl, not a morning person.
I am quite addicted to my full wave waterbed. I will totally try to sell you on the idea of sharing it with me.
I am fiercely loyal. I will be your best friend as well as mate. I will always have your back. I will be open and honest with you and will genuinely want to hear what's on your mind.
I was previously happily married for 20 years, ending it when cancer took my husband. I love marriage and know that it can work very well between the right people.
To be married to me would be horrible, I would hate it, and I am probably the only person who could tolerate me. I have been happily divorced for almost 25 years, my ex wife and I do not get on, but she still wants me back. 3 actual relationships since them, couple of years at most, but I still get on with these ladies, 2 of them I speak to daily and all 3 want to marry me. Silly women. The 3rd makes contact occasionally and all contacts with all 3 of them a very friendly. I am a bit of a control freak, not of other people, but of me an my surrounding, I fix things, not a handyman, but I don't leave problems unresolved. I can cook, far better than any women I have been in a relationship with, and I am a better mother, ha. I have raised most of their children, even when the kids weren't mine, in fact a couple of "not mine" kids are ion the next room at the moment gaming with my son. I am overweight and sore when overweight, I am very hot, it is impossible to sleep with me in anything but the cold of winter. I can't be lied to, it makes me very angry, and I can tell if someone is lying to me. I neither forgive nor forget any injustice. I am very kind, but not generous. Did I say I have been alone most of my life? I wonder why?
Hahahaaaa... A tough ride?
But if I were to actually get married in the first place you'd be getting the best of me.
I snore, have mood swings, will eat all your food because it tastes better if I love you, and will probably poop in front of you. Something completely unrelated to us will get me in my feelings and I'll go on rants constantly. I'll bite you to show affection. I'll do laundry but I probably won't do dishes. Our bed will always have have clean sheets and pillow cases. I'll tell you if I feel like sleeping with someone else. I'll get mad at you if your porn selection isn't ethical. I'll probably rescue random animals.
Being married to me would suck, though my soon to be ex wife stuck it out for near twenty years (I left her, blah blah reasons).
I'm not going to list my faults, I'm not dangerous, just annoying.
So in the vanishingly unlikely event that one of you runs into me and decides that you might quite like to get shackled to me, don't.
No, really, don't...