So, I have been talking to this girl recently and we have been actually hitting it off pretty well. We have a ton in common and she is very pretty. We havent discussed it yet but it has become very apparent that she is a big believer. I tell her have a nice day and she says, "yes, by the grace of god i will." Now, im not the type of atheist who really cares what you believe, you can believe whatever you want as long as you don't try to push it on me. But, i also have a low tolerance for fairy tales and people who don't utilize logic in their everyday lives. I really like her but i think this could be an issue in the future. How would you proceed? Should i go for it or pull the plug now?
Of course it is a big issue. Anyone who is having a nice day "by the grace of god" will sooner or later end up in tears over you because some invisible part of you is doomed to hellfire by an invisible man. I'm telling it just like it is.
For the record, have you heard of Lee Strobel? Long story short on this man he and his wife did not believe but secretly his wife and kids started going to church. Today Lee is said to be a big believer also after writing a book that was intended to disprove everything. It did not work that way and Lee wrote The Case For Christ, The Case For The Resurrection, etc. and there is the movie about it all and so forth. It seems very plain to me what Lee was doing. He was saving his marriage.I might add that these days it also makes him a pretty good living.
Fist off I'd like to thank you all for your advice. And I'm pretty sure you all hit this nail on the head. I just had to bring it up and get it out of the way. Turns out she's not a believer, she's (as someone put it) a belieeeeeeeever. I told her my position and that it wouldn't change. She proceeded to try to convert me with the same old tired arguments, and that's pretty much where it ended. Oh well, moving on.
There are believers and there are beeeeeelievers. The latter thank God for everything and think God has his hand in everything. Like how her day will turn out. You're dating a beeeeeeeeliever. Ouch!
You could use this experience as a test. Tell her. Tell her about your lack of belief. I predict the following: She'll pity you, want to save your soul for you, she'll pray for you, add you to prayer circles and get spiritual council from her people for and about you. But she won't want to make babies with you until you're a beeeeeeeeeliever, too.
I personally would do an about face before the emotional connection is made. It is unlikely she's just gonna say "yeah, you're right". She'll likely try to convince you there is a god and get pissed and hurt when she's unsuccessful. Booty call, friends with benefits, but partner, naw. My most recent ex was a believer - I actually took her and her kids to church. I didn't care if she believed, or anyone else. Short of Jesus showing up and putting my finger in the hole, ain't gonna happen. Looking back, I wish it had ended sooner. Lost 5 years I won't get back. I won't date a believer again. Too big a chasm. Too many arguments.
I looked to see where you were located before answering because, depending on region/local, degrees of beliefs vary
That said, if she were from the southern U S & Pentecostal, I'd say break it off now. Faith is strong here & that whole "do not ve unequally yoked" thing is taken real seriously.
Once she finds out you are a "non-believer", you are either going to be Sstan's minion sent to temp her or you are going to be her pet project because women tend to like playing w/broken toys & they like to "fix" their men. You will go into every prayer list in that church & her online support group.
Do yourself a solid, tell her you are an atheist & move on.
I'm sorry i think its doomed to failure, if you want to have any chance at all you need to have a very open and honest discussion with the lady about your athiesm and what it means to you, and her faith and what it means to her and how to cross those to aspects of your life......
as someone who dated and was dumped by a christian girl I can tell you that it is not what you think it is that will break you up. it was not me not going to church, she rarely went iether, it was not that I did not believe in God or the Bible, it was that she wanted to share books she was reading and things here faith was teaching her and I did not want to take part in those things because of their christian nature
Maybe you should raise the issue for discussion; if she recoils like you are one of hells demons it may be a doomed relationship ....maybe she will be relieved that you are not a christian and she can stop pretending.... but you won't know till you ask