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Dating a Christian?

So, I have been talking to this girl recently and we have been actually hitting it off pretty well. We have a ton in common and she is very pretty. We havent discussed it yet but it has become very apparent that she is a big believer. I tell her have a nice day and she says, "yes, by the grace of god i will." Now, im not the type of atheist who really cares what you believe, you can believe whatever you want as long as you don't try to push it on me. But, i also have a low tolerance for fairy tales and people who don't utilize logic in their everyday lives. I really like her but i think this could be an issue in the future. How would you proceed? Should i go for it or pull the plug now?

Jables 4 July 2
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39 comments

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0

Of course it is a big issue. Anyone who is having a nice day "by the grace of god" will sooner or later end up in tears over you because some invisible part of you is doomed to hellfire by an invisible man. I'm telling it just like it is.

For the record, have you heard of Lee Strobel? Long story short on this man he and his wife did not believe but secretly his wife and kids started going to church. Today Lee is said to be a big believer also after writing a book that was intended to disprove everything. It did not work that way and Lee wrote The Case For Christ, The Case For The Resurrection, etc. and there is the movie about it all and so forth. It seems very plain to me what Lee was doing. He was saving his marriage.I might add that these days it also makes him a pretty good living.

I saw the movie. Didn't explain much really. The plot idea was to re-inforce belief, not to question them

5

Fist off I'd like to thank you all for your advice. And I'm pretty sure you all hit this nail on the head. I just had to bring it up and get it out of the way. Turns out she's not a believer, she's (as someone put it) a belieeeeeeeever. I told her my position and that it wouldn't change. She proceeded to try to convert me with the same old tired arguments, and that's pretty much where it ended. Oh well, moving on.

Good . U avoided been w stupid . That's a plus . It doesn't matter if she tries to convert u or what degree of believing . Point is , STUPID . And honey , u can't fix stupid .
Also , anyone who sides w religion at any level , pretty much sides w denying basic human rights , and to be silent to child abuse . Do I need to go on ? No vagina worthy of lowering your standards . Next !

It's probably not over for this lunatic female....as mentioned below there may be prEyer chains blathering on right now in her circles...don't be surprised if missionaries knock on your door Saturday morning Sunday if she is an ADVENTIST resting her sabbath bones in Saturday pews.....if she is a charismatic catholic she may be lighting candles going extra to confession for lusting after your Atheist loins.....so no means no keep telling all on her side to stay the fuck away from you....block her texts and phone number....block her Facebook and Twitter INSTANTLY...don't debate any of them.....xians are stalkers and terrorizing the whole world with hell threats and heaven bribes....if she finds you at work or anywhere TELL HER IGNORANCE IS UGLY and she is repulsive member of a cult.....never date females wearing a crucifix or has a fish on her car

4

Pull the plug. Yesterday.
You are wasting your time.

She's going to make every effort to "convert" you, whether either of you realize it or not.

Cut your losses and yes, pull the plug.

I agree. I get it from strangers who read my window stickers/t shirts/hats. And of course, people who think they know me. (The ones who actually do know better).

4

If you can agree not to talk about religion or politics, proceed.

But I want a man who shares my values.

3

I think you should discuss your lack of belief as soon as possible. I think youre flirting with future resentment by hiding this part of you. Its a bit dishonest not to reveal who you really are. She deserves the truth about you, as do you.

3

There are believers and there are beeeeeelievers. The latter thank God for everything and think God has his hand in everything. Like how her day will turn out. You're dating a beeeeeeeeliever. Ouch! 😯

You could use this experience as a test. Tell her. Tell her about your lack of belief. I predict the following: She'll pity you, want to save your soul for you, she'll pray for you, add you to prayer circles and get spiritual council from her people for and about you. But she won't want to make babies with you until you're a beeeeeeeeeliever, too.

3

Depends on how strongly she is with religion never a evangelical

bobwjr Level 10 July 2, 2019
3

I couldn't put up with that level of self-delusion.

JimG Level 8 July 2, 2019

Thank you!

I agree with you JimG but what do you do when you long term wife goes religious? I'm frustrated and it really cuts into our together time. I refuse to go to services and participate in religious functions.

@ADKSparky I was fortunate my wife didn't turn into a zealot until after we divorced. I did date a woman for a while who turned religious. She told me of her epiphany when she dumped me and explained that she couldn't be with someone she couldn't be with in heaven. I was surprised as hell, but seeing her every now and then reminds me that I dodged one bullet at least.

3

Run for the hills.

2

I took a personal vow to never waste my time with another Christian woman. No matter what they say, it is a lie. It always leads to being "unequally yoked".

2

it's many paths to one destination. if her beliefs make her happy then who are we to stand in her way? if they don't then help her there. otherwise I'd stay if she's good in the sack and makes you happy. if not then move on.

2

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

2

Does she know you are an atheist? If not, that will most likely be a problem for her in the future. When your trepidations and her's collide, it won't be pretty. I think I'd at least let her know I didn't believe first and see what happens from there.

1

I would proceed by asker her about this instead of us.

1

It would definitely be an issue for me. I would not waste my time with someone deeply invested in faith.

1

I personally would do an about face before the emotional connection is made. It is unlikely she's just gonna say "yeah, you're right". She'll likely try to convince you there is a god and get pissed and hurt when she's unsuccessful. Booty call, friends with benefits, but partner, naw. My most recent ex was a believer - I actually took her and her kids to church. I didn't care if she believed, or anyone else. Short of Jesus showing up and putting my finger in the hole, ain't gonna happen. Looking back, I wish it had ended sooner. Lost 5 years I won't get back. I won't date a believer again. Too big a chasm. Too many arguments.

1

I looked to see where you were located before answering because, depending on region/local, degrees of beliefs vary

That said, if she were from the southern U S & Pentecostal, I'd say break it off now. Faith is strong here & that whole "do not ve unequally yoked" thing is taken real seriously.

Once she finds out you are a "non-believer", you are either going to be Sstan's minion sent to temp her or you are going to be her pet project because women tend to like playing w/broken toys & they like to "fix" their men. You will go into every prayer list in that church & her online support group.

Do yourself a solid, tell her you are an atheist & move on.

1

I'm sorry i think its doomed to failure, if you want to have any chance at all you need to have a very open and honest discussion with the lady about your athiesm and what it means to you, and her faith and what it means to her and how to cross those to aspects of your life......
as someone who dated and was dumped by a christian girl I can tell you that it is not what you think it is that will break you up. it was not me not going to church, she rarely went iether, it was not that I did not believe in God or the Bible, it was that she wanted to share books she was reading and things here faith was teaching her and I did not want to take part in those things because of their christian nature

1

Maybe you should raise the issue for discussion; if she recoils like you are one of hells demons it may be a doomed relationship ....maybe she will be relieved that you are not a christian and she can stop pretending.... but you won't know till you ask

1

i never dated much but i never knowingly dated a christian. i've dated nonjews. i can't even imagine having a serious relationship with a true believer. that would be like... dating a republican or something!

g

I have a strict no Republicans/Libertarians/Baggers policy. It has served me well!

@CarolinaGirl60 fortunately i have been with the same guy for 19 years so i don't have to worry about stuff like that. he just about pukes if trump is even mentioned!

g

1

You should let her believe what she wants but will she be ok if you are an atheist? Can you not just love each other as good human beings? is it not possible? Why God has to destroy everything on either side?

@Seeker3CO Why is not possible to respect each other's beliefs and still love each other? There are couples whose political, social and religious beliefs are different and still have happy lives. Why do you want another person to be like you?

@Seeker3CO Yes if they are not imposing on you. She don't impose on you, you don't impose on her and focus on many other positives in life like love, trust, respect, family, caring. In fact, when you allow others to lead with their choices, the respect and trust in the relationship can grow.

What is ridiculous to us, is not ridiculous to others. We progressives think Trump is ridiculous but don't forget he is a hero to 43% Americans. That means that many people don't agree with us. We must look and focus on what we can agree on and enjoy it instead of what we cannot.

@Seeker3CO If she does not impose on you and loves you selflessly.... ?

@Seeker3CO is that fair? Is that demoCratic? Isn't that fanatic on one side? What about we all getting along? Why be bent upon on my way way or highway? If your son or daughter happen to change their views, would you abandon them?

@Seeker3CO
Don't forget, you are not talking to Devil's advocate but the Devil himself.

@Seeker3CO it is very hard in this world if people are not flexible and cannot get along. Half of the world has the opposite opinion than we do. There are beautiful human beings that just believe in something that we don't agree with. That is all. They want to get along and they are ready not to say my way or highway. Why can't we? What do we teach our children? Not agree with the side that does not agree with us or try to get along?

@Seeker3CO A very good question and very relevant. My experiences are different. I was raised overseas in India where it is impossible to live unless you can get along with different caste, color, class, religion, language, cuisine and costume. It is not a homogenous society in any state from North to South of 1.3 billion people.

1

Does she know you don’t believe?

0

If you tell her that you are an atheist and she asks you whether it hurts, it's time to pull the plug.

0

Did you tell her frankly that you are not into religion?

0

Respect has to be both ways. I don't see any harm in dating someone who is religious.

0

Do not under estimate the power of Sex or Love making afinity.

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