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Gwen Shocks a Christian

I was in Walmart today and, as is my wont, struck up a conversation with young woman in the soft drink aisle. We exchanged pleasantries (I can be very pleasant when I choose to be) for about five minutes and then, wished each other to have a good day.

However, she added, "You are such a nice woman; you are so godly--it just shows."

I laughed, leaned forward, and said, "Oh, honey, that's funny because I am an atheist."

Her eyes grew huge and I bet her mouth dropped behind her mask.

She said, "No way!" But I nodded in the affirmative. She still looked surprised and added, "I'm going to pray for you and you are godly in some way."

I didn't say, "That's because I am a goddess."

Atheists are supposed to be dour, unhappy people--not happy, pleasant people who are funny and genial.

And all of you atheists who are getting dumped on, maybe it's your personalities. (Evil grin.)

Gwendolyn2018 9 Apr 13
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28 comments

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9

One of the benefits of being a Unitarian Universalist is that no one knows what the fuck that means. Sometimes even the u.u"s don't even agree.i love the deer in the headlights look too.

6

Well you are a goddess

bobwjr Level 10 Apr 13, 2021
6

I joke 24/7, even my cardiologist who sees a lot of people remembered me from my heart attack because he says I’m the only person he has ever seen that was cracking one joke after another while experiencing a heart attack.
I really have a great attitude and I face the hard to face facts frankly enough that when posting here I’m sure people think I’m quite grim due to the subject matter.
Like millions died in WW2 but I still find Mel Brooks Hitler in Springtime humorous.

I don't think you're grim at all.
😁

@Gwendolyn2018 I had a friend in college who’s father was a gynecologist and he was moving his office. I committed to help before the finals schedule came out and I ended up studying all night for my test, then taking my finals and then helping a medical office move for twelve hours.
The old couch wouldn’t have fit by size or decor so it stayed, so I lay down and took a nap 12 hours in on the exam table with my feet in the stirrups.
I’m so glad it was before smart phones and the World Wide Web, there would have been pranks and memes, so all I got was pranks.
No one had a camera, now everyone does as corrupt law enforcement is learning. How many more innocent people are going to get hassled? Less then 1984, that’s for sure.

When I was in total heart block and spent a couple days in the hospital to get my first pacemaker, the one nurse in the special care unit told me as I was getting ready to leave that I was the healthiest sick person she had ever had! I was constantly joking around and kidding with the nurses and doctors when they would come in. Why be a sour puss!

@Gwendolyn2018 that wasn’t directed at you dear. I just meant even under bad circumstances there is no need not to keep your sense of humor. Being an Atheist I think actually helps with that.

6

Better goodly than godly.

5

That's cute. I remember telling a JW at the door that I was an atheist, and he told me he was sorry to hear it, which made me laugh. He came back the next day to apologize to me, which impressed me. Then I asked him if he wanted to help me sacrifice the goat in the back yard. And they say we have no sense of humor. LOL

@Gwendolyn2018 Because a rabbit hiding eggs on the Sunday after the first full moon following the spring equinox isn't suspiciously pagan. Nope, not at all. 😉 Though honestly, atheism would be better with chocolate rabbits once a year. LOL

3

No more my personality than yours . It's what they've been taught to think of non believers , a bit like all witches wear tall pointy hats and ride broom sticks .

3

My favorite response is, "...but, you're so nice!"

🤣🤣

2

Always thought, atheists are not bad, but damn, we need to hire a better PR group.

2

Better than my dad's reaction. When I told him I'm agnostic, all he could say was, "I don't believe in hate." Wouldn't elaborate.

2

Lol! Good times rock,, I was told I was a good Christian too,, told them not to worry,,,I won’t nail you to a cross,,, jaw dropped,,shock! You could see the horror in the face!

2

I love shocking well meaning people that way - often they don't think they've ever met an atheist and they have a preconceived notion that I love dispelling! What? Atheists are sweet normal people? Yep, we are! 🙂

@Gwendolyn2018 Same with dour christians, it's their nature, or maybe "resting dour face syndrome" haha.

2

I get remarked on how happy and smiley I always am 😂

Mvtt Level 7 Apr 13, 2021
1

We Atheists are just supposed to be grumpy. No life, no fun, no nothing 🙄🙄🙄😂😂😂😂😂 Gwen don't you know these are the rules of our Atheist Overlords?!?

1

All believers know that the atheist is a bad person or just misinformed. Remember that in the film "God is Dead" the atheist was just pissed off coz god killed his father. In the end, the atheist got saved too. I think the Pope must have saw that film. LOL

1

Wonder if you had said "I believe in Biden" if she'd've hissed like a cat and spat some holy water at you....

1

The most rewarding to me is the aghast expressions people exhibit upon meeting an actual atheist. My caretakers aunt, Mexican Catholic, crossed herself repeatedly & recoiled as if I was, well, infected. More afraid of my godlessness than the TRUMP virus. She still can't believe that good deeds reside within an atheists actions. So funny.

1

Great story

1

That’s typical. I used to think same way when I was Christian. You are taught goodness comes from god and those who don’t know god can’t be good. The truth is some of the worst people sit on the front pew at church

@Gwendolyn2018 I never did like evangelizing and thought it rude.

@Gwendolyn2018 I was a kid and I didn’t want to go to hell. I didn’t really believe the Bible story but the preacher scared the crap out of me with hell

1

God! .....I've met many a asshole religious person. Jesus! .....talk about dour people. Good Lord!..... I'm not just talking about the old and cranky either.

twill Level 7 Apr 14, 2021
1

A few times I've helped old women just because it's the human thing to do. Usually with bags onto/off of buses or with shopping items that are heavy or out of reach. Several times I've been told 'how Christian of you'. If I'm feeling they were just trying say a super thank you, then I'll reply, no it's very human. If they are somewhat of a pin head, then perhaps I'll deny that I persecute people because they think slightly differently to me and so on....

@Gwendolyn2018 sometimes I enjoy reminding Christians about the Spanish Inquisition. How very Christian to burn the heretic!

1

I have met some dour atheists. But most in my company, including myself, are quite filthy minded and jovial.😉
Whenever someone asks me if I'm a believer I always laugh and say "why"? Throws them every time.

Ohhh I like that! I’m going to start replying that way as well

1

Congratulations, when that happens it does kind of knock christians off center doesn't it. 🤣

1

When I have told people they are usually shocked, an ordinary looking granny is an atheist! 😀

Leelu Level 7 Apr 13, 2021
1

I have been told that I always look pissed off. If that keeps people away, then I am singing and dancing inside, filled with joy and bliss.

@Gwendolyn2018
Same here. I tend to be a very pleasant person. After ten minutes, they can piss off.

LMMFAO!!

1

Great Story! I love it.

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