34 2

Im recently seperated after 27 years of marriage. How long before dating again should one wait

By pamb685
Actions Follow Post Like
You must be a member of this group before commenting. Join Group

Post a comment Add Source Add Photo

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

34 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

1

First of all, when you feel like it, but understand heart and head are not always in agreement. Second, if you have children at home, don't bring the new person around them until you know it is going to be long term. It is really hard on the kids to have revolving door people in their lives. I ended a marriage after about that same length of time. It isn't easy on anyone.

HippieChick58 Level 9 Sep 5, 2018

Oh gawd my mother did that.

4

27 minutes

OldGoat43 Level 8 Sep 6, 2018

You are insane my friend! Everyone knows its no soonr than 39 minutes. Have you no common decency?

@lookinhard
Yes, you are right! Time necessary to shave, shower and put on lotions

@zesty nice to hear from you again.come join me in chatting

4

When you feel ready, or when you feel chemistry with someone. Which ever comes first.

Infoguy211 Level 8 Sep 5, 2018
4

I waited a while. Wanted my head together and a full life in other areas.

GreatNani Level 8 Sep 5, 2018

@pamb68 something wrong with the app and I can't see what you wrote. smile003.gif

@pamb68 I know! Eventually, your head is right enough, not perfect, that you decide to give it a try. I just did not want to make the same mistakes I had made before.

3

DOn't wait at all! Go for it!

zesty Level 7 Sep 9, 2018
3

There is not right answer on this. If you feel ready ,go for it.

RaulPerez Level 7 Sep 5, 2018
3

I started dating when my separation was legal. My divorce was final 3 months lasted. I had been ready to leave for a long time, so there was no grief to process. There was baggage, and my post-separation relationship and therapy helped me off-load that. My children are adults, which simplified things.
The heart wants what the heart wants. I wouldn’t rush into marriage, for sure.

UUNJ Level 8 Sep 5, 2018
3

Have to agree with Taladad.There are no rules or guidelines.Be well,be smart,but mostly...be happy.Its all about you from here on.Rock Hard!

lookinhard Level 7 Sep 5, 2018
3

Whenever you feel ready.

Taladad Level 8 Sep 5, 2018
3

no wait...immediately to date, whenever you feel like...no big deal...

seattlepanda Level 7 Sep 5, 2018
2

When your heart is ready and that is different for everyone.

SaucyCheryl Level 8 Sep 12, 2018
2

Indeed. One day is sufficient. Go treat srlf to spa day and pretty new lingerie or at least cute panties. Does wonders for how you walk around....a bit if a strut

EvaV Level 7 Sep 10, 2018
2

As long as you feel comfortable waiting. It isn't about societies expectations of the appropriate "mourning time." I can say from my experience, that my marriage was DOA long before a judge put his signature on my divorce decree. When I asked/demanded a divorce from my ex-wife, the marriage had been over for 5-10 years. I had already mourned my loss. I had already come to terms with my failed marriage, and the lack of mutual love for my then wife. In fact, the only thing stopping me from moving on into a happy and healthy relationship was the fact that I was still, technically, married. So when the judge signed the paperwork, and made it official, I was already way past "over it." I am now seeing a woman that is fantastic. I can't even describe how much better she is for me compared to my (ex-)wife of 18 years. My divorce was final in May, 2018. If a great person comes along, and you are psychologically ready to accept them into your life. Go for it.

2

Whenever you're ready. I started dating 2 weeks after I separated from my ex but I had long since mourned the loss of my marriage.

Paracosm Level 8 Sep 6, 2018

THIS! There is no set time frame. There is no "perfect" time to start.

2

Date when you find someone who you are interested in dating. It is just an interview. Good luck. Be careful out there.

Mooolah Level 8 Sep 5, 2018
2

I agree with the others. It's all up to you. I was married for 28 years, left my wife, and it took me three more years to get the divorce. My lawyer thought I was crazy for not dating during that time period. But I knew I just wasn't ready.

MrLizard Level 8 Sep 5, 2018
2

up to your comfort level

TheDoubter Level 8 Sep 5, 2018
2

Separated as in not divorced?

IamNobody Level 8 Sep 5, 2018
2

There is no timetable whenever you feel ready.

Kojaksmom Level 8 Sep 5, 2018
1

Start now....with me ??

Dwgwnr Level 6 Oct 22, 2018
1

I don't think there's any prescribed time limit to being"ready". My wife left me last spring after nearly 12 years. I know that I'm not ready for something serious or long term yet. But I also know that I am truly lonely and have a deep craving for affection. So you need to ask yourself what your needs are and will dating fulfill those needs. Just because you may not feel like you're ready for a serious partner doesn't necessarily mean that you can't date.

skatematt360 Level 2 Sep 21, 2018
1

The relationship experts say you are supposed to wait one month for every year you were together.. . But i think it's like grieving..there no set period of time that right for anyone. as soon as you get yourself together and feel ready to jump in ???? sometimes it take a rebound relationship to get full closer on the old one.. sometimes the relationship bad long before it over.. trust yourself.. just remember you have the right to be happy ..

kaseykat15 Level 4 Sep 10, 2018
1

One day is plenty!

zesty Level 7 Sep 9, 2018

AGREED

1

I've heard a month for every year you were together is average, sounds kind of reasonable for me.( up to a year or two max maybe) Consider your options too, someone really good might happen by.

Buttercup Level 7 Sep 6, 2018
1

Until you are ready. I might suggest that a period of mourning is typical. After my 20 year marriage that was like about 27 minutes since I had spent the last year of that marriage mucking through a nasty divorce. When my committed relationship ended after two years I spent 8 months moping about my apartment at the injustice of it all.

Then, after the mourning there is self-discovery. There is usually a period of time when you will want to redefine who you want to be as a newly single person, and what that will mean once you are back in a relationship. Most recently this period of self discovery has lasted for more than than three years. I am sure that you will know when the time is right for you.

Nukdookum Level 8 Sep 6, 2018
1

You're FREE to do what you want, as soon as you feel ready.

rcandlish Level 7 Sep 6, 2018
Write Comment