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Is Dating someone who is in a different political party a deal-breaker for you? As a liberal I just don't trust conservatives. I don't think I would ever be able to make a relationship work with someone who is a trump supporting conservative, it doesn't matter how many other things we have in common. Does anybody feel the same way?

Kojaksmom 8 May 30
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It’s about issues for me, so a partner has to be pro-reproductive choice and justice, anti-white supremacy culture, anti-NRA, a feminist, LGBTQ welcoming, peace loving, a climate change believer, and basically anti-everything Trump-Pence. And they must love dogs. ?

UUNJ Level 8 May 30, 2018

So basically, not a conservative (you left out no religion).

I wish I could LOVE this comment instead of just like it!!! Lol

@JackPedigo I am best suited to Unitarian Universalist because I enjoy that community, but I am ok with agnostics and theists who have a less dogmatic idea of god. Can’t relate to folks who believe in a literal heaven and hell. Except the forms of hell we are dealing with on earth right now.

@UUNJ I was in those shoes at one time and belonged to a liberal, multi-religionist group of environmentalists. Unitarians was the predominant group (I still have a problem trying to understand why Unitarians are considered a Christian religion). It was called the Earth Ministry [] However, my late partner a lifelong Persian atheist was uncomfortable with that and eventually convinced me it was not a good fit so I left. I still see now she was right even though many of our travel club (Servas Intl) meetings were held at a local UU center.

@JackPedigo Since there isn’t a creed regarding the Trinity, I agree.


Well, this is a pleasant surprise! A whole thread (almost) of lefties! The image we have in Australia of the US is one of an ultra right-wing country. It always amuses me the way that American Republicans call people who support public health and 'Socialists'....... as if that's the most hideously derogatory term that could be used against anyone....... hahaha. I agree with you! Our politics are about how we treat other people and share our resources. How could we ever be compatible with someone whose (right-wing) politics allow them to take all the power, money, food and other resources and just dole out the bare minimum for us (lefties) to survive on?

Brunnion Level 7 May 30, 2018

Don't forget, Trump LOST the election by the people by 3-million votes. The bought-and-paid-for Electoral College gave him his bogus "win". That's why he's so sensitive about it. In fact, there are far more Liberals in the US than Conservatives, but too many of them thought their vote wasn't needed and didn't bother. We really didn't know about how the Russians were concentrating on a few states that could be swung the other way at the last minute. Comey's fiasco added some doubt. No, the US is not a country of Ultra-Right-Wingers, but it often looks that way in the news because they have the political power now.

@mtnhome didn't think that Hilary was a good candidate though! Bernie maybe!

@Abbelyne Agree 100%. Bernie announced he's running again in 2020. Not sure he can win against Trump because Trump cheats the election process in endless ways. Hoping he's in jail by then.

@Abbelyne The 2016 elections in the US were rigged with help of the Russian intel apparatus. That is why Trump gets so nervous everytime Russia is mentioned by anyone. I hope the truth about that election comes out someday. It will be a healthy thing for America. Americans are so dumbed-out with lies, they don't know if they are coming or going.

@Abbelyne I was annoyed by the Bernie or bust idea that gained popularity. A lot of berniecrats were pushing it's either Bernie or you write in some a** for president. To me that's irresponsible.

I'm surprised at these results here too! I'm not surprised about how many Lefties there are here. I think agnostics and Freethinkers tend to be liberal. What surprises me here is how intolerant people are.

@Kojaksmom Sorry K........ the comment about Bernie was a throw away line. I live in Australia so I don't know the details of US political campaigns.......

@mtnhome "Bought and paid for electoral college"... No. I'm sorry, it's just that Trump managed to win in exactly the right states to swing the electoral vote without winning the popular vote. I didn't like it either, but it's exactly how the system was intended to work. Both parties play the system. If you want to go to a direct democracy, then the middle of the country won't matter anymore: Whoever wins the coasts will win the election. Trump won the middle last time and the electoral college went his way. That's simplistic but it's the way it went.

@Paul4747 You make it sound like you think the Electoral College is an independent group of non-partisan election evaluators. They're not. The actual voting members of the EC depend on which candidate takes the most electoral votes. They're selected and PAID for by that party and have a job to do... make sure their candidate is sworn-in as President. While it wasn't originally planned to be that way by the Constitution, the EC is a highly partisan PAID group of high-level supporters of the "winning" party who simply rubber-stamp the electoral votes, enjoy the festivities for a few days and go home as paid heroes for doing exactly the opposite of what the original drafters intended, which was to use their head. We don't need them as they no longer support the very checks and balances that created them. If this while 2016 election fiasco were simply reversed it would work the same way... the Dems' Electoral College would rubberstamp the electoral vote win and blindly swear-in the brain-damaged candidate who lost the popular vote thanks to illegal and outside influences.


Absolute deal-breaker for me. I'm a Liberal Democrat Socialist. And not to be arrogant but I consider most right-winger conservative bible thumpers to be brain damaged. And I don't care what people think of me.

I feel somewhat the same way and was absolutely shocked that there are conservatives on this site. I didn't think such an animal existed.

@Kojaksmom Those are very confused people on several different levels. Kinda like religious people who change religions every few years in search of something that doesn't exist.

I wish I could LOVE this comment instead of just like it!!! Lol

If worse comes to worse, I could possibly handle a FWB arrangement with a conservative as long as the emphasis is on the "B". Lol


I am a Liberal minded person, I can get along with the LGBT community just fine, I feel that the country would be better off with out guns, and Trump is a nitwit and a nincompoop, that someone should build a wall around just him, well him and the Republican party,?!!!


For me, I could not have a long term relationship with someone who was a Drumpf supporter. That tells me they have the morals of a snake. I just find nothing redeeming about Der Donald, and someone who thinks he has any redeeming features has terribly poor judgement in my opinion. This is not someone I want or need to spend a good deal of time with and frankly I can't see how they would fit into my life. OMG, it would be like dating my ex. Pardon me while I go lose my breakfast.

Hey. Be nice to snakes. Their morals reduce rodent populations.

@Countrywoman I stand corrected. OK, morals of a gutter rat. How is that?


It did not used matter so much since there was always a certain amount of consensus between political parties on fundamental things like the public good, law and order, education, health care etc.
However in my adult life time I have seen the polarisation of left and right, extremism rise on both sides, inflexibility, the collapse of tolerance ironically in the name of greater tolerance and loss of national identity.
I think today politics has become a tribal idealisation, a divisive hurdle it would be almost impossible for a relationship to overcome.
In short in an increasingly secular world, politics has become the new religion.

True, it is brutally divisive out there. I really wish we could go back to the time when there was a certain consensus in the political parties. But, unfortunately there is absolutely zero.


I couldn't. There's a fundamental difference between left wingers and right wingers.


That definitely would be an incompatible match for me. I've got my tolerance limits for ignorance.


I tried, didn't work. It's not really about political party, it's about values. Deep down Religious people look down on you because going to Church makes them feel "virtuous." To me anyone who's against gun control and pro-war has blood on their hands. I would never be able to date a racist pig or anyone pushing for more deportations. I could compromise on other issues though. I'm a progressive liberal coming from France with a different perspective.

Elie Level 3 May 30, 2018

Incompatible with conservatives, for the most part. So, no.


Yes I know how you feel


I feel the same as you. Just couldn’t do it.

ejbman Level 7 May 30, 2018

I also do not trust conservatives. They are not religious. \Since they are not majority they have aligned with the religious right to expand their voter base. Other than that when do you see Trump going to Church on Sunday. Sundays is for golfing.


I agree. I could not go out with a staunch republican. I have two of my cousins that are far right wing. We do get along very well but I cannot take much of their politics and religion.


I hate labels, because they really don't tell me very much about what the person really believes.

When people ask me what i am politically, i say, choose whatever label makes you most comfortable; conservative socialist, socialistic conservative, or fiscally conservative democratic socialist; or you could ask me how i feel about issues like war, equality, medicare, or the environment. That's what's important, isn't it?

If my partner and i can reach consensus on the important issues facing people and society, the labels make no difference to me.

josephr Level 7 May 30, 2018

Yes, but an affiliation with a particular wing of politics implies who you are in an ethical/social sense.

@Abbelyne for the most part I think you're right.

@Abbelyne And affiliation means what? In Canada many of us don't belong to parties and vote according to our consciousnesses on a candidate and issue basis. So affiliation means less up here than it may in other countries. I for one, have never joined a political party, but have always been politically active to one extent or another since i was a teen.

@Abbelyne, @Kojaksmom Sorry, just got up and am still somewhat thick. I see what you mean though, and i agree too. Someone once gave me a tee shirt which said "We are who we stand with." I was working for a union at the time and it was my payment & thanks for some work i had done for the local. I just watch out that i don't become biased against people, fighting issues with which I disagree. Separating the people from the issues is one of my fundamental philosophies by which i try to live. I better have breakfast because i believe i'm starting to run on. Lol


We can be friends if they're otherwise very interesting and we don't talk about all the crap that causes them to be Conservative, but I don't want a Conservative in my bed, ever. Don't get me started...

mtnhome Level 7 May 30, 2018

Religious and conservative are dealbreakers for me


In my case, it doesn't matter at all. In my thinking, religion and ideology fall within the same group of human creations, those which are not to be taken seriously unless you want to make your life miserable. I have never had a partner that I could say shared all my political views, some have come close but there have always been disagreements which resulted in wonderful discussions and I have never had a breakup for political reasons 🙂

Sadanty Level 5 May 30, 2018

Keep in mind that it's difficult to change someone's mind about issues that they're invested in, especially when they're force fed information that enhances their confirmation bias daily.

It doesn't matter what side of town fence you're on, you're going to have a hard time accepting any information that doesn't play into your already biased opinion... Unless you recognize that fact!

To the liberals... When was the last time you heard Hannity say something that wasn't an outright bullshit lie pandering to conservatives?

Conservatives... Same question about Maddow.

If 50% of the people think one person is lying 100% of the time and the other 50% think the opposite viewpoint is lies 100% of the time...

Does this make sense? You need to be open minded and aware enough to understand that both sides do the same thing.

My point is that I think it's possible to have a relationship with someone that has a different viewpoint than you, so long as they are open minded and willing to accept that everything does not have to be black and white, and especially understand that most of what you hear or read in the "news" has been colored to elicit a specific response from you. No matter what your political viewpoints are.

My closest friend is politically my polar opposite. However, believe it or not, neither of us are actually religious, racist, misogynistic, heartless, rich, or poor, etc. We're very similar people in fact. But one subtle shift caused me to align myself one way and him the other.

We don't talk politics, we don't talk religion. We enjoy each other's company and its almost never been an issue.

Now I have to wonder how many people have made up their mind what side of the fence I'm on. ?

EddieDean Level 6 May 30, 2018

it is possible. I know of a few couples that are Polar Opposites politically. they do take Jabs at one another ,and they do vent their hostilities towards one another ,but it seems to all be in good fun. They agree to disagree.
I find it easier to deal with people who own their opinions, even if it means admitting something extremely negative about themselves.

@Kojaksmom Exactly! If some people would just admit they're awful racists and horrible people in general and couldn't care less about anyone but themselves...instead of trying to justify their choices with utter nonsense, I'd actually respect them a tiny bit more. I mean, I would still despise them, but at least they would then be honest 😉

You are not on either side of the fence. You straddle as both sides have merit. Tactics are the factor that separates us. How to solve the issues at hand.


I couldn't do it. Now more than ever. I tried off and on with one religious,
right wing republican woman for three years in college. I don't know why we bothered. But it was religion and politics that was constantly in our way. I could never date a republican. Religion is ok as long as I don't have to hear about it or be a part of it. My wife is a devout Christian. Always has been. We were both afraid it would be an issue. Especially If We had kids. But we talked it out and we've had no problems in what will be 21 years next month.

Dingodog Level 7 June 9, 2018

Yes, I definitely feel this way


Gee, if being a Republican or a Christian were deal breakers, I would never get to go out!

I figure if they can put up with an ardent atheist and Bernie-crat, then I should try to be tolerant too.

I think a relationship can still work with differences like those if both people value their relationship more than what they differ on.

dare2dream Level 7 May 30, 2018

Im a Progressive Independent. I vote Green. So naturally I have to date outside my party because nobody's hip enough to be in it!

ronmon Level 3 June 26, 2018

Define "conservative". Is someone who voted Democrat on the straight ticket, every election since the age of 18, still defined as a conservative because he owns guns? I guess my question is, do you consider support for the candidates a deal breaker, or is it specific issues?

Paul4747 Level 8 June 26, 2018

One of my favorite people to hangout (and make out) with is a conservative Christian. We enjoy each other's company, share a love of outdoor activities and have some very interesting conversations. Open minds and open hearts are what matter.

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