I am 48. I give myself a 5% chance to fall in love again and that's probably a very optimistic number. I think the older you are the more picky you get so the chance of falling on love diminish every day. What do you guys think?
I fall in love every day. People talk like "romantic" love is the only thing valid. Or is some sort of Pinnacle of love. It's not. Sometimes I think it is the lowest form. My friends, my children, my grandchildren, myself, the beautiful smile of the lady in the apartment upstairs when she hears my babies laugh. The homeless lady who gave her last dollar to her friend because he is worse off then her. The guy I know who spent the day with a guy that he can't stand because he was having a rough day and no one else cared.
I'm not a guy, but I'm going to respond. I give myself a . 0005% chance of falling in love again and that's probably a very optimistic number. I think the older you get the more you are aware of the lies we've been sold and told in our youth. For instance...#1 I am very capable of taking care of myself and my needs. To be a man in my life, you need to understand...1. I am not your property, 2. I'm not here to serve your every need, including your every fantasy, 3. i'm not here to fulfill some role that you were raised with believing that women fill, 4. I can probably do as much if not more around the house than you, and if I can't, I can find someone (and pay them) who can, 5. If you don't respect me, I'm gone. I've pretty much accepted that I'll be alone for the rest of my life, but you know, that's okay. I'm a pretty decent person to be around...life is good.
I'm days away from 48 and although I've never put a number to it, I can see how 5% might seem about right. However, I'm not sure it's the "falling in love" part that would be the problem, more the "putting up with someone else's quirks and them putting up with mine" that would be the issue.
I find happiness, joy, friendship, companionship all the time, but not in a "significant other" sort of way.
I'm okay with it; I'm pretty set in my ways, but I wouldn't say no to the concept.
wow. Ok, I'm 48 as well and in the middle of divorce. I give myself 100% chance of falling in love again! I'm loving, caring, open, fun, charming, outgoing and... hopeful.
If you think you've only got a 5% you're boxing yourself in; you're creating your own destiny and a bleak one at that.
Oh boo hoo hoo. You have more of a chance of being hooked up than so many other kinds of people in society. 1) 48... not even vaguely old. Try being a woman over 70, where the demographics are massively against you ever finding another male partner; 2) You're a white, cisgender, straight male. That's right... dripping with privilege and you don't even know it. Try being an older gay male or trans person trying to find a partner, then you can whine all you want; 3) As far as I can tell you're able-bodied. Try bemoaning your fate to people who are in a wheelchair or otherwise disabled.
There's nothing wrong with being picky, but be realistic picky. If I see another middle-aged dude who thinks his future wife should be 20 years younger than himself (because he's sooo cool and youthful) I'm going to retch. Also, while I'm sure you're a fine person, like most of us, you're nothing special. You think you have to find someone utterly special but you have nothing much to give back. Get a clue, there aren't that many magical people to go around. Most of us are boring turds.
I think you sound depressed and your chances of falling in love again are far greater than 5%. That does depend on being open to relationships and don't look for love, look for friendships. If a friendship is strong enough it might turn into love but friendships are good too. Stay positive.
As you get older you are less willing to put up with “bullshittery”. At 63, I’m not willing to tolerate someone who is looking for a live in cook and housekeeper. Unfortunately in my age group that is what you find. I’m not saying that applies to every man. Maybe I’ll find someone and maybe I won’t. Life has no guarantees. After my divorce I met my now late husband when I was 46 and we were together until he passed in early 2016. I don’t give up hope but I know I would rather be by myself than settle. While I’m alone, I’m not lonely and that’s the difference. We all have deal breakers and things that are not. Sometimes people need to be realistic.
Well, as a woman, I feel as if I'm in the same boat. For one thing, I don't make myself available to anyone. My work takes a lot of my energy and time. My cats take the rest. I'm an introvert and I value my time alone. Falling in love, truly in love, is something I don't think I have ever experienced in my life, and I wonder if I ever will.
I am 48 and I am more emotionally healthy than I have ever been. I love my life and myself. I enjoy my alone time and after living alone for 12 years I don't worry about falling in love, I worry that I won't be able to tolerate living with anyone again. I am an only child and an introvert. I need LOTS of time alone to be happy.
Don't be so sure. I was 53 when I met the love of my life. Yes I was picky too (and because of her even more so now). She was 47 and we had 16 wonderful years before she died. Of course luck plays a big part but you need to remember actions increases the likelihood. Don't sit still!