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I am 48. I give myself a 5% chance to fall in love again and that's probably a very optimistic number. I think the older you are the more picky you get so the chance of falling on love diminish every day. What do you guys think?

By EggMcMuffin
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109 comments

13

I am 64 and i fall in love, on average, 3 times a day. the only drama is . by the evening i don't remember who with

PontifexMarximus Level 7 Sep 14, 2018
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10

Nah! I'm 39 and the guy I'm seeing is 50. It is the best and healthiest relationship I've had. It's about connecting with the right person not age. Be you, be respectful and honest and the right person will respond to that.

OpposingOpposum Level 8 Sep 14, 2018
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10

Oh, silly, I turned 70 in July, am now in the Most Wonderful relationship of my entire life!

AnneWimsey Level 8 Sep 14, 2018
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8

I am 52 and recently met a most lovely woman. We corresponded for over three months and recently met face to face.

I am very much in love and looking forward to more.

Bierbasstard Level 8 Sep 14, 2018
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7

I fall in love every day. People talk like "romantic" love is the only thing valid. Or is some sort of Pinnacle of love. It's not. Sometimes I think it is the lowest form. My friends, my children, my grandchildren, myself, the beautiful smile of the lady in the apartment upstairs when she hears my babies laugh. The homeless lady who gave her last dollar to her friend because he is worse off then her. The guy I know who spent the day with a guy that he can't stand because he was having a rough day and no one else cared.

dreamsinflux Level 7 Sep 14, 2018
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I really like that attitude. So easy to miss all the good stuff while fretting about what might or might not be.

7

I'm not a guy, but I'm going to respond. I give myself a . 0005% chance of falling in love again and that's probably a very optimistic number. I think the older you get the more you are aware of the lies we've been sold and told in our youth. For instance...#1 I am very capable of taking care of myself and my needs. To be a man in my life, you need to understand...1. I am not your property, 2. I'm not here to serve your every need, including your every fantasy, 3. i'm not here to fulfill some role that you were raised with believing that women fill, 4. I can probably do as much if not more around the house than you, and if I can't, I can find someone (and pay them) who can, 5. If you don't respect me, I'm gone. I've pretty much accepted that I'll be alone for the rest of my life, but you know, that's okay. I'm a pretty decent person to be around...life is good.

linxminx Level 6 Sep 14, 2018
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7

I'm not looking to fall in love. Right now just a second source of retirement income. smile007.gif

minhmeister Level 8 Sep 14, 2018
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I love seeing your comments in random posts. Lol, takes the edge off. 😊

6

I think you sound depressed and your chances of falling in love again are far greater than 5%. That does depend on being open to relationships and don't look for love, look for friendships. If a friendship is strong enough it might turn into love but friendships are good too. Stay positive.

OCJoe Level 5 Sep 15, 2018
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I am not depressed, more like resigned...

6

As a liberal agnostic in The South I've had a hard time meeting people of "like minds". I'm also less likely to put up with a whole lot of crap anymore.

strgazr63 Level 4 Sep 15, 2018
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Yep, that's my other problem. I live in Florida, so i am not even interested in 98% of women around here.

@EggMcMuffin Yeah, Florida is way too full of the ones I won't date.

Yeah, this state is a dumpster fire. I haven't dated since I moved here.

6

I'll be 47 Wednesday and I give myself a 99.9% chance of finding love again. You always find what you look for.

Piratefish Level 6 Sep 14, 2018
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I submit God as another counter argument.

@TheNoob

And I submit my toaster as a counter argument to your Odin. Or were you referring to Zeus? Or perhaps Osiris? Allah? Ganesh? Ra? Enlil? To which specific mythos are you referring - with over 320 million gods just in recorded human history, it is important to narrow it down a little. Otherwise I am going to assume you mean the one true God: His Nooliness, The Flying Spaghetti Monster. R'amen!

@Piratefish yeah you're RIGHT. I was referring to the Sorceress of Castle Grayskull. I give myself a 99.9% chance that my God of Castle Grayskull will provide me with the power of He-Man - Master of the Universe. Because that is what I am looking for!

Edited
6

I'm days away from 48 and although I've never put a number to it, I can see how 5% might seem about right. However, I'm not sure it's the "falling in love" part that would be the problem, more the "putting up with someone else's quirks and them putting up with mine" that would be the issue.
I find happiness, joy, friendship, companionship all the time, but not in a "significant other" sort of way.
I'm okay with it; I'm pretty set in my ways, but I wouldn't say no to the concept.

scurry Level 7 Sep 14, 2018
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You put it better and more succinctly than I did.

6

wow. Ok, I'm 48 as well and in the middle of divorce. I give myself 100% chance of falling in love again! I'm loving, caring, open, fun, charming, outgoing and... hopeful.

If you think you've only got a 5% you're boxing yourself in; you're creating your own destiny and a bleak one at that.

pepperjones Level 8 Sep 14, 2018
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6

Oh boo hoo hoo. You have more of a chance of being hooked up than so many other kinds of people in society. 1) 48... not even vaguely old. Try being a woman over 70, where the demographics are massively against you ever finding another male partner; 2) You're a white, cisgender, straight male. That's right... dripping with privilege and you don't even know it. Try being an older gay male or trans person trying to find a partner, then you can whine all you want; 3) As far as I can tell you're able-bodied. Try bemoaning your fate to people who are in a wheelchair or otherwise disabled.

There's nothing wrong with being picky, but be realistic picky. If I see another middle-aged dude who thinks his future wife should be 20 years younger than himself (because he's sooo cool and youthful) I'm going to retch. Also, while I'm sure you're a fine person, like most of us, you're nothing special. You think you have to find someone utterly special but you have nothing much to give back. Get a clue, there aren't that many magical people to go around. Most of us are boring turds.

PalacinkyPDX Level 7 Sep 14, 2018
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Oooof, harsh. smile002.gif

I agree. I'm not giving up on looking for a mate but there are men I know in their 60s looking for a female in their 20s, It does make me throw up a little bit when one of these people tell me this. Nothing wrong with wanting to stay young but jeesh.... What type of woman in her 20s wants to sleep with an old moldy hair gray dude?

@confidentrealm the type of woman who has a significant interest in how much money the old, moldy, gray-haired dude has stuffed in the matress she's sleeping on! Lol...

I agree with you. The “Older” men fawning all over women that are twenty, thirty years younger. Perhaps that is where the 5% comes into play?

@confidentrealm Ha, whatever makes 'em happy is all good!

Lol -- you made my day. Keep keepin' it real!

It's true, if most of us would just figure out that we're ordinary schmucks just making it up as we go, we'd be better off. But we're so acculturated to soaring transcendent love narratives for the ages, we are unable to appreciate what we are and what is actually in our league. I have a SIL who is 49 and not getting any younger but if a guy's hair is thinning or his waist has let out a bit, nope, he's not even worthy of consideration. Well guess what, that's what most guys have come to at around 50. Deal with it, or just close up shop!

@mordant I like older men. Or men closer to my age. I find I don't really have much in common with the younger crowd. Love goes way beyond superficial looks or sexual attraction. I need a new best friend

@confidentrealm Then you're age-appropriate and that's a wonderful thing. My SIL just hasn't figured out she's not still 29, I think, or maybe more to the point, men her age are no longer 29.

Edited

Ok, when I said picky, I did not mean a 20-year-old nymphomaniac with double Ds (not my cup of tea anyway). I mean I am interested in bright, intelligent, passionate, altruistic, interesting, trustworthy, cute non-believer that I am attracted to physically as well. Is that wrong? smile009.gif

6

"falling in love" is a lie. A marketing ploy. An expectation that leaves you feeling let down.

For fucks sake, just be happy if you find someone that you like to spend time with, and don't worry about the "falling in love" concept, ya know?

Gooniesnvrdie Level 6 Sep 14, 2018
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5

Perhaps being more picky makes you not waste time with unsuitable people and makes it more likely that you will find someone.

Stephanie99 Level 7 Sep 16, 2018
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5

As you get older you are less willing to put up with “bullshittery”. At 63, I’m not willing to tolerate someone who is looking for a live in cook and housekeeper. Unfortunately in my age group that is what you find. I’m not saying that applies to every man. Maybe I’ll find someone and maybe I won’t. Life has no guarantees. After my divorce I met my now late husband when I was 46 and we were together until he passed in early 2016. I don’t give up hope but I know I would rather be by myself than settle. While I’m alone, I’m not lonely and that’s the difference. We all have deal breakers and things that are not. Sometimes people need to be realistic.

jc2018 Level 7 Sep 14, 2018
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I'm right there with you but it's not much different for me at age 55. When I was in California it was easier for me to meet and enjoy the company of men but here in The South men are looking for a more "traditional" wife (someone who will cook, clean, shop, and bring home a paycheck).
I simply don't have the time, patience or energy to be all things to one man when I'm managing quite comfortably on my own.
I will, however, keep my options open. I like men and I'm not dead yet.

5

Get married; you'll meet the perfect person within the first 6 months after the wedding. It's a Murphy's Law kind of thing.

RedneckProfessor Level 5 Sep 14, 2018
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5

5% ? So there's a chance? Lol 😜

Martie1965 Level 6 Sep 14, 2018
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That's a good point, Trumps was polling at what, 20% on the day of election? Ok, depressing example, but still.

Edited
5

I just went through a divorce. I am not looking for it to happen. At 50, my chances of finding someone are fair. If it happens, it happens. In the meantime, I will work on myself.

Erick67 Level 6 Sep 14, 2018
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4

I fall in love almost every week. It's just that at my age I cannot afford to take a gamble and I think a lot of women feel the same way. Also at my age this "love" business can mostly be in your head. A man needs to think with the right head.

DenoPenno Level 8 Sep 15, 2018
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4

I'm an eternal optimist at 55.

SaucyCheryl Level 7 Sep 15, 2018
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4

Well, as a woman, I feel as if I'm in the same boat. For one thing, I don't make myself available to anyone. My work takes a lot of my energy and time. My cats take the rest. I'm an introvert and I value my time alone. Falling in love, truly in love, is something I don't think I have ever experienced in my life, and I wonder if I ever will.

BlackDove Level 6 Sep 14, 2018
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From my observation, people I have talked to or connected with via social media, it seems that you are not unique in that. People have difficulty falling in love for various reasons. Many people think it is not worth the time and trouble, or pursue other interests.

BlackDove, you have an honest and great answer. Another person should find you desirable for this alone.

4

I am 48 and I am more emotionally healthy than I have ever been. I love my life and myself. I enjoy my alone time and after living alone for 12 years I don't worry about falling in love, I worry that I won't be able to tolerate living with anyone again. I am an only child and an introvert. I need LOTS of time alone to be happy.

Sorcha Level 6 Sep 14, 2018
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4

I think that is your mindset. I was 59 when I met a woman who I was physically attracted to, we are still together, I'm 64 now.

freddam Level 3 Sep 14, 2018
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4

Don't be so sure. I was 53 when I met the love of my life. Yes I was picky too (and because of her even more so now). She was 47 and we had 16 wonderful years before she died. Of course luck plays a big part but you need to remember actions increases the likelihood. Don't sit still!

JackPedigo Level 8 Sep 14, 2018
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