I’m a lifelong Unitarian Universalist, and I can attest to the value of being in community when times are tough. My parents were also UU, and they lived far away from me and my siblings. Their church members visited them, took them to medical appointments, brought over groceries, etc. At the end, when my parents were in home hospice 6 months apart, their pastoral care minister visited almost daily. It was good for my parents and helped me and my sisters.

The churches will always have the advantage of ready made community, at least until there is a Humanist coffee shop on every high street. And sadly that will not happen, since most of sceptical people are only linked to each other by a negative view. (Not a Humanist myself.) There are in most parts of the world the range of local clubs, from ramblers to art groups, but nature groups and charity shops are perhaps the best because they give you the chance to do something positive as well.

Do whatever makes you feel better Julie. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Take care of yourself and everything else will fall into place.

I know where you are coming from sister. You and I and LOTS of other people are feeling isolated and lonely. I heard talk (on NPR [National Public Radio]) of a recent study that gave some big numbers (which I did not write down because I was driving) but apparently it (lonliness) is a VERY common element in modern life. Congratulations for not giving in to the temptation to attend church! As a free thinker among believers you would probably have felt your isolation even more acutely. And there is nothing quite so sad as feeling alone in a crowd. I wish I had a silver bullet to offer you, but alas all I can say is hang in there kid!

I live in a large city and people have suggested that to me. I'm like, "I can just do things I like to do and meet people I may actually enjoy?????" It's weird to be okay with being alone. As soon as I even hint I may be a little lonely, the response is that I need a partner.

And YES>>> It is all ab out you!!!!

Take care of yourself.

There are liberal religions out there. the unitarians are pretty cool. many of them are atheists and agnostics. However, conservatives need not apply

I'm sorry you are under so much strress with your mother. It sounds as if your community is rather small and elderly for offering anythng other than church groups. Is there a library with a reading group? Or an environmental group? Or a Beautiful Town group even if you are just thinking about ways to deal with litter and plant more flowers?

How about a hiking/biking club? Book club, dog-walkers group? Etc.
Go to "Meetup", a free HUGE world-wide website to find things you want to do & people to do them with.

Why does it have to be a church. I moved to a new village two years ago and joined a ramblers walking group and met some lovely people. In addition to that it gets you out in the open air and you get some exercise which would be beneficial if you have SAD. Another option is "meet up" groups if there are any in your area.

Just pass that off as a momentary lapse in judgment and it won't happen again.. Glad you came to your senses.

UU (Unitarian Universalist) might be a good fit for you. Most of them have a nice social hour afterward and have some of their more gregarious people greet newcomers.
There are also various groups and activities.
I would stay far away from any church with fundamentalist leanings.

Have to be honest that even UU came to be more church than I could deal with. It was important to me when my kids were young as they do give a balanced exposure to religion and study other world religions.
We even hosted a group of Tibetan monks in our home once when they were in town for a concert.

There is nothing wrong or unwise in joining a church for social interaction. There are lots of people who attend the church for that very reason. A church does serve much-needed community function. That's why it has been so successful. One of the problems with atheist and agnostics is that they tend to be an independent bunch, and to disdain social cohesion. It is somewhat natural for all of us to feel that sense of belonging. I am not sure I've ever found a non-religious group or community that foster a similar sense of belonging as a church does...

I would have nothing in common with them. Most of them I might say. There may be a few but it would still be like looking for a needle in a haystack.

I can empathize with your situation. And, depending on the church, you might find friendship without much pressure to convert. But there seems that other opportunities may be available. The farmers market may have gardening groups or other opportunities. Even though the community is small there may be some type of voluntary activity, that does not involve care taking, you would be interested in doing.
The first step is to talk to people. Usually they will talk with you and want to be helpful.

Yes it can be hard having to deal with those thing on your own. We all need human interaction. Does the place you live at have a library, maybe you could start your own coffee group on some subject or another.

It might work for some, but it wouldn't work for me. It would be like saying I might like to join a cult for the community. I know those who say regular church people are not in a cult, but it feels like a cult to me since I have never been able to wrap my head around why people believe these things, or even pretend to. It makes me nervous and uncomfortable. (I'm reading "Helter Skelter" about the Manson murders. It's really a riveting, true life horror story. So many of the societal problems that resonated back then still do today. There was so much garbage in the zeitgeist that it made it easy to use against those on the fringes, and that is what Mason did. I couldn't see myself joining "the family" for community, either, lol.)

If there is a Unitarian Universalist church near you, that might be a great choice. They are accepting of many different points of view, including atheism and agnosticism, as well as all faiths. They have very tolerant and open-minded outlook.

Church is actually a pretty decent place to socialize. Probably it's only real value, unless the church you happen to hang out at actually takes it's philanthropic mission seriously.

One of the most difficult things to deal with when you have an individual in the family who is suffering from dementia is convincing them that it is time to move in somewhere that can help make living with their illness easier. There are people who can assist you with that process. Please speak with a professional to help stage an intervention. There is no reason that this situation should be consuming your life 24/7.

I’ve simply attended the party meetings of my favorite political group … which always leads to a healthy connection and worthwhile activities, even amid the most regressive of communities. What I’ve noticed when associating with the religious is ..there’s always a ‘religious test,’ and that ultimately, you hit a wall friendship wise…

It is apparent how easy it would be to find instant companionship ..in multiple ways if I were to begin attending any of the numerous churches in my area. But if integrity is paramount ..we often suffer alone. Glad you’re ‘here,’ though

I’ve had the same inclinations in the past. I found church groups to be especially clannish, and wary if newcomers. They are especially open in the beginning but press the “Are you one of us?” questions. They do socialize together, but it felt more like herding for orotection. Give it a try, but be aware that it’s the outsiders who approach newcomers first.

BOY! You sound much the same as me, Except for the Mother part. I moved to the South here in the states for the warmer Winters and the beautiful outdoors here in a very wooded and hilly retirement community. Unfortunately it is in what we call the bible belt here in the states. Don't get me wrong. The folks here are very friendly and open. It's just that I can't become engulfed in their way of thinking about God. I have considered going to their churches ( Been invited many times ) but I just can't be so phony, just to have more of a social life . Good luck to you, Yours, Richard.

Google the words support groups and your city. I get a listing of free groups. Meet up has a lot of groups that cost money.
I hope you get some relief soon

I think you are being way too self-critical. I agree with rogueflyer about you joining some sort of non-believer group or a Unitarian church if they have any in your area. There is nothing wrong with getting some emotional support with what you are going thru with your own depression and the stress of dealing with your mother's problems. As long as you are not attending or joining some Christian church where you would be lying or faking belief to get that support, what is there for you to apologize for or feel bad about yourself for just because you are being honest with yourself about needing more support than you currently have from friends and family?

Join a secular Sunday service or a Humanist Free Thought group. Better people.