No need to explain anything. Just be self-contained and vague. If someone starts getting religious just calmly state, "I don't believe that way." And keep repeating it like a parrot each time they say something religious to you.

Also, ignore them every time they bring it up. Act indifferent, get busy elsewhere, leave the room to do something somewhere else, mumble "Um-hum," in a distracted manner as though humoring a young child. Don't ever pay attention to them or even look at them unless they are behaving in a positive manner, then smile and interact normally with them.

This behaviorist method trained my parents to stop attacking my children and me within three visits.

Yes a lot of us get beat up by the christians.They will condemned you to hell in a heart beat. Sorry you are having to go through this. You are among friends now. You will be okay.

Post length is fine, sorry you are copping this, old fashioned families seem to like to enforce everything on us. We may need a group for family black sheep. Hang in there, you are not responsible for their blind spots.

I am so sorry you are having this experience. Families should offer unconditional love and support. You don't need to be anything or anyone for anybody else. I would remind them that you still love them and respect their views and ask that they respect yours.

Well with Christianity and most Abrahamic religions being fear based painted as faith they are afraid for you, hence, the word 'saved'.

Get out of that toxic environment asap.

Welcome to our supportive but humble home. I would just everyone to mind their own business. You have made your choice and that there will be no more discussion around the subject. You are out numbered so don't even go there !

You can't argue with belief... so don't try.

My father gave me this advice many years ago and I use it with him, which pisses him off. Smile, agree, and do what you want anyway. No one can live your life but you. You do not need to validate your beliefs, or non beliefs, to people who, you know, will not accept your views. I have developed a thick skin and don't really care what others think of me. I make my own way in this world and I don't owe anyone any explanation. If someone wants to have an honest, civil conversation about religion then I'm all for that. At this stage in your mothers life you probably won't be able to change her mind and getting her to see your point will be just as challenging.

I have many christian friends who I would not get into a religious debate with because I know their faith is so ingrained they will not accept anything I have to say. Because I value them as a friend and love them I stay off that topic. I'm lucky in that my immediate family is agnostic/atheist or on the fence. I do have some family that are religious fanatics (one cousin in particular) but I just smile, nod my head, and do my own thing. It's just not worth it sometimes, pick your battles.

Just smile, agree, and do your own thing. For what it's worth, that's my advice

There is no easy solution to your situation (and I'm sorry to hear of your psychologically abusive marriage too =[). You are never going to be able to satisfy your family members with anything you say. I think the best you can hope for is to mitigate the negativity by simply telling them all that you love them, you are not going to suddenly become a believer again, and in order to foster as normal a relationship as possible, you and they need to agree to disagree on the topic of religion. You don't need to be saved, you don't want to be saved. Make the topic taboo after explaining these points. I'm very sorry you're having to deal with this situation, especially at a time you're trying to be there for your parents and family. I hope this is helpful.

Maybe say, I'm curious...When you get to heaven will you have any sorrow or pain? The answer will surely be No! Well then, if me or people you know and love aren't there, but are instead burning in hell will you then be happy they are getting their just punishment. If the answer is Yes...then I don't know who you will be, but you won't be my mother and if god wipes our memory from you that would not only be Sad, but a really dirty trick and you still wouldn't be my mother. I really wouldn't want to go to a place where I wouldn't remember you or have my family and friends there too. If you're god truly is a loving God he will find a place for me there too don't you think?

Say to them this; " What do you want me to do, believe? You cannot force yourself or anyone else to believe in anything. Lie, pretend to believe? That would be an insult to me, you and your god (tho shalt not bear false witness). You have your faith, it is yours not mine. Much as I respect your choices and the code you live by. I cannot make that leap of faith. I am stony ground. Do not cast pearls before swine. The fact that I am here is proof of the love I have for my family. Now prove your love and let us agree to disagree. You may silently pray for me if you wish and if your god is real he may intervene as he did with Saul. Until such time arises, please leave me be on this matter as I will do for you. "
As for your mum, ask her if she loves you and wants you to be happy? She will answer yes of course. "Then let me make my own decisions. I am not the 1st person to leave a marriage and I will not be the last. Two presidents and the future king of England are divorced. Was Reagan a bad man? Should Tina Turner have stayed with Ike? You did not raise a fool. Please don`t treat me like one"

Oh, dear,what a difficult situation to be in. All I can suggest is to develop selective hearing. (Husbands do that a lot) Train yourself not to hear what they say. Smile kindly and sing your favorite song in your head. Your ordeal will be over soon.

Ugh. I'm so sorry. It sounds like a nightmare.

I think I would likely say to her that my relationship with god is personal, and for her not to worry herself with it. Something like that. As far as the other family members go, I'd likely call out their hypocrisy and tell them to get bent, but I don't know anything about your relationships with them.

Again, I'm really sorry you're having to go through this. Take care of yourself.

I don’t have a good answer for you. I suppose when I find myself in similar situations, I tactfully end such conversations as quickly as possible and try to steer things back towards common ground as soon as I can.

If I were in your situation, when you are talking with your older family members and the topic were broached, I would simply say something like, "we get to spend so little time together, I don't want to waste it by arguing about this," and try to change the subject. When speaking with the rest of your family that is closer in age with you and younger, I would start quoting the Bible to them. I have found there is no better way to show how ridiculous Christianity is, than by reading the Bible! If you can get them to doubt any of it, or if you can show them how atrocious parts of it is, start questioning why they would believe any of it at all if they are only cherry picking the parts they like. I hope this helps!

My Best Wishes to your parents health. I am not a militant atheist, never trying to prove My Rightness. Most of the time never brought up by my family... there are enough bad examples of those with faith and I am considered a good human being as I am. I do wonder if I get terminally ill, will there be a gesture to try to "save me" at the last moment. Time will tell. Boundaries and Respect should be important.

I am sorry you're in an intolerable situation,tied every which way - If it were me, I would just tell her I love her - not wait for an answer and then go. You came and did your duty and are being put under intolerable pressure you either stay and face all the guilt tripping and harm; or love them from afar. I guess that also depends upon how strong you are but staying stuck gives you no power to change anything at all. Your brothers and sisters are the ones capable of seeing this through without self harm.

Sorry for what you're going through.

Objectively what's happening is you're a dutiful child coming home to help in a time of crisis and they're being asshats. Personally I would tell them that I'm trying to do them a kindness and be helpful but if they can't put aside their prejudices about my personal beliefs (and mind their own business) then I will leave.

In my experience though daughters are far less able than sons to have boundaries around this. My wife has a similar situation with her family of origin although it doesn't involve religion (they are entirely areligious). It is just a dysfunctional family for various other reasons and so every time she has any contact with them they won't take yes for an answer and always find some way to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Anyway -- she is hellbent on visiting her father and step-monster briefly on our way home from vacation next month when I would not personally give them the time of day. She is doing this for something she calls "closure" and that I call "indigestion". She plans to go in there, head held high, and be above it all, but I can guarantee you as sure as the sun rises, this time next month she'll be distraught and hurt over it and not at all triumphant. So I support her in this (one last time anyway) but I think it's a fool's errand. Your mileage may vary.

Use SE,one on One with them
Street Epistomology is using the Socratic Method on folks to discover what they believe and why they believe it.
SURPRISE!
Most folks don't know what they really believe (they do not think about it) and have less reason why they believe it.

Just say “ok” and change the subject. It’s ok, I here you, I understand how you feel, thank you. Once that’s out there say, I’m not going to discuss religion or politics... I would add politics because the religious like to link the two. “Ok” Defuses while taking the wind out of their sails, ... What you’re doing is letting them know that you hear them and you understand their concern and did you see that great picture Tommy did that’s on the refrigerator? Do we have any pie left? Do you think a canoe trip would be fun this summer? ... in other words, you need to be asking some of the questions and not let other people determine the direction of the conversation. If you can take it to a place where those things are simply not discussed you will have essentially agreed to disagree.

They consider this their duty according to their religion. You will never change that. You can't argue for your opinion as that will be a waste of energy. You may just have to spend as little time as possible interacting with them in order to keep your sanity. Could you just tell them that you respect their right to their views and leave it at that? They aren't going to respect yours in return but maybe you could find some solace in the fact that you are acting as the compassionate one. For me, I respect other's rights to think as they choose, I may not agree nor respect the way they choose to act on their beliefs but I'm wasting precious energy to argue it. And it sounds like you need all of your energy to remove yourself from an abusive marriage. Sometimes the best support comes from those who are not your blood family

I would just say that if their god is as forgiving as we've been told, then we're all going to be alright, right? I appreciate your struggle, as I've had to lie...tell family members what they want to hear, just to move the conversation fwd.

To them it is their job to save you. Their book tells them so. I'm not sure I can help. I helped save everyone and then I became atheist. Most of my family isn't happy either.