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Suicide: a cowardly move? True or false?

By EmeraldJewel
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144 comments

20

I think a better question would be 'Is it selfish of people to blame a person who commits suicide for their loss of that person?' The person who suicides is simply no longer alive but the sense of pain and loss that some people feel as a result of that person no longer being there can be great but it is their choice too on how to deal with that.
I've lost people in this life and it has often been a painful experience, especially when I was younger and didn't know how to deal with it. Blaming the person who opts to end their life by suicide is essentially blaming the victim, at least in my opinion.

Surfpirate Level 8 June 12, 2018
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Yes!

17

False.

I wrote my suicide note last year. No one tells you how hard it is - what do you say? I mean, it's your final statement, right? So you want it to be completely on message.

I then spent a comfortable hour in a hot bath with my weapon of choice - a box cutter - until I decided it was not for me. Not at that time, anyway.

And I burned that fucking note to ashes.

No, I don't judge anyone who voluntarily checks out.

Palindromeman Level 7 June 12, 2018
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I sincerely hope you are feeling better about yourself and life in general now. Hugs

@Marcie1974 Thank you. As always, life is a work in progress - for everyone, including me. You can never know how another person is feeling. They are their own barometer.

17

It is neither cowardly or brave. It simply a choice that some people make for a variety of reasons., often mental illness is involved.

Crimson67 Level 8 June 12, 2018
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16

Sometimes its the bravest thing you can do

Corvus Level 5 June 12, 2018
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14

Suicide is a way out when you feel there is no way forward. to try to say it's cowardly or bravery is to not understand that it's not either one, It's loss of all hope.

kenriley Level 8 June 12, 2018
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14

Suicide is just an action. You need to understand the motives of the individual before you can make any characterization. It's not a true or false proposition.

zeuser Level 7 June 12, 2018
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13

People take their own lives for many different reasons. About eighteen months ago, my sixteen year old grandson went to all lengths to find a way to take his own life. His wonderful birth mother had told my daughter about the long history of deep depression and frequent suicides in her family. Sure enough, our boy began showing signs of depression before he even started kindergarten. Everything in the world was done to help him. Despite having loving, involved parents, seeing a therapist he adored, and taking medication with no ill effects, he could not escape whatever it was that tormented him. He left several different notes ~ for his parents, his friends, his girlfriend, and even for law enforcement ~ requesting his parents not be blamed as they had been wonderful to him and were in no way responsible for his decision. My daughter and her husband are, of course, shattered but my daughter (more than my son-in-law) is also relieved for her child, saying, "I miss him terribly but I'm glad he's out of pain." I can't think of suicide as cowardly: I can only think of it as desperation.

Spudnut Level 6 June 12, 2018
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My deepest sympathy for you and your family.

My heart goes out to you all.

13

False. Suicide may the only way to get rid of the pain that made you feel this way. It's a persons choice to live or commit suicide. There were a number of times I considered committing suicide in my 30s. I felt alone, because no one outside of family cared that I was on this planet. I'm glad I found reasons to live, but it's not cowardly to do so.

freedom41 Level 6 June 12, 2018
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13

Suicide is escaping pain.

Is someone who takes pain killers to numb the pain of a toothache a coward?

It is cowardly however, to judge those who've chosen suicide.

Ellatynemouth Level 8 June 12, 2018
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13

When someone is depressed they are at risk for suicide, and it is not a matter of cowardice, it is a matter of your brain going to a really dark place where you don't - literally - see the light at the end of the tunnel. In those cases it is not a matter about being a "coward" about facing life, it's about this intense sense of "hopelessness" brought on by their depression. If you've never felt it, then it's hard to understand what that is like and how that can cause someone to take his/her life. It's tragic because those who manage to do it, I suspect, they where trying not so much to end their lives, but to end that hopelessness in their lives. Many come to think that ending their lives is the only way to end the hopelessness inside. It is extremely hard to reason properly and maintain perspective when in a deep depression. That I know. That is why depression is dangerous and must be treated head on.

Then there are those who want "medical" suicide due to some terminal illness, and they just want to die with dignity. Neither case needs "judgment." What is needed is a greater understanding of the phenomena in either case.

Georgy303 Level 6 June 12, 2018
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You said it, very, very well. Thanks, it's refreshing to see enlightened people speak, which is why I'm here.

12

Much like any other bodily autonomy/medical care question the answer is No. It is ultimately the decision of the individual. Yes they may leave pain and sorrow behind them when they go but ultimately it is THEIR life and THEIR death. It is no one else's decision or place to judge.

OpposingOpposum Level 8 June 12, 2018
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12

I know there'll be lot's of disagreement on this one but I say false. My daughter suicided at the age of 20 almost five years ago. Will never get over it but at the same time I think she thought she was doing the right thing:-/

ronnie40356 Level 6 June 12, 2018
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❤️

It's always hardest on those left behind. For my daughter's sake I could never do it without good reason, and first explaining "why" to her.

12

Anyone who claims that suicide is cowardly is not even being logical. A COWARD, by definition, would never be able to commit the act of suicide.... OUT OF COWARDLINESS!!!
I suffered suicidal postpartum depression. When the pain of living is greater than the pain of dying; suicide seems like the only way out......and it makes you BRAVE enough to end your pain. If you are fortunate enough to have never felt that kind of pain; consider yourself lucky and DO NOT JUDGE!!!!!

Humanist5 Level 4 June 12, 2018
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12

I don't think people who are suicidal need to be judged. Suicide happens when the pain is so bad you cannot imagine a way out. It is mental illness. Until you have been there you will never understand, and I wouldn't wish that pain on anyone.

HippieChick58 Level 8 June 12, 2018
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It's not limited to pain, sometimes it's more like distress, loss of hope, just being too damn tired too damn long

Very good point, good observations

12

so absolutely false.

Untamedshrew Level 6 June 12, 2018
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12

False. The compulsion to take your own life can be very powerful, and not something easily understood by those who've not experienced it. I don't think it's about strength or weakness.

Tecolote Level 7 June 12, 2018
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I think your choice of the word "compulsion" is an important one. Even on this thread, it seems there are many here who don't understand that for people with mental illness it really isn't a choice.

Damn you nailed beautifully

11

"Cowardly" is such an insult. I've been thinking about your question since I replied (below) in the terms of what ''bravery'' really means. It means being afraid to do something but doing it anyway, because you're convinced it's the right thing to do. People at such a terribly low point are obviously as afraid of death as anyone might be...but they do it anyway, just to shut off their demons...or the knowledge of a long, painful death opening ahead of them. Faced with that prospect, I will absolutely kill myself...and die on my own terms.

LucyLoohoo Level 7 June 12, 2018
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11

It's just deeply, deeply personal. You and I can't possibly make judgements about ''cowardly." We can only say "SAD"

LucyLoohoo Level 7 June 12, 2018
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11

False. I enjoyed reading so many good responses here.

thislife Level 7 June 12, 2018
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11

We do what we have to do when we have to do it - Its our own life as it will be our own death. I can't admit the word cowardly - I really don t like that word its as if we have t aspire to some false sense of how to be a person.

jacpod Level 7 June 12, 2018
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Absolutely in agreement here!

11

Patently FALSE.
There isn't anything "cowardly" about suicide.
I'd LOVE to explain that to anyone who believes otherwise.

KKGator Level 8 June 12, 2018
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11

Here is how I see this question.
Is divorcing a forced marriage a cowardly move or not?
A lot of forced marriages do not end up in divorce because not always the relationship is bad.
People used to marry this way for thousands of years. Having a right to divorce is a very important right because in a lot of cases forced marriages are bad.
Same thing is with life nobody gave consent to be born into this life. Some may have a really bad life with lots of suffering in that case of course is important to have the ability to choose to die in dignity. It is sad that nowdays someone has to travel as far as Switzerland to have the right to divorce life.

Valerian Level 3 June 12, 2018
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I couldn't agree more!

A great analogy, not easy to do. Thanks

11

No two suicides are the same. It is not black and white, but layers upon layers.

LadyAlyxandrea Level 8 June 12, 2018
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Exactly.

11

It's really way more nuanced than A or B. Are you talking about doctor-assisted suicide for the terminally ill? How is it an act of cowardice to jump head first into the unknown rather than suffer horribly to no benefit at all and sacrifice your dignity?
Or are we talking about people who commit suicide because of mental illness? The real tragedy is that mental illness is so stigmatized here in the United States of Dumerica that it's considered cowardice by some people to reach out for help.

trblemaker Level 6 June 12, 2018
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Well put trblemaker; Preach 🙌

Edited

Yes, a thousand times.

11

Neither it's a symptom if an illness. It's like asking if hypoglycaemia is cowardly. People left behind have unanswered questions that they can't resolve it leads to anger and frustration. We like to blame and we like to solve puzzles. You did it because you're a coward is an easy answer but it resolves nothing.

Josephine Level 7 June 12, 2018
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You not only kill yourself, but you mentally kill your friends and family.

The only utility people seem to get from labeling by suicides as cowardly (or possibly most absurdly the easy way out) is a smug sense of satisfaction coupled with an ego boost for themselves. I think if other ppl understood the immeasurable suffering and fear undergone by victims of suicide, they’d realize that even with all the “strength” and determination in the world they eventually lose the ability to so much as think rationally about ramifications, or the possibility of anything getting better

Edited

@TheGreatShadow it seems strange to me that society doesn't see people who have suicidal thoughts but haven't killed themselves or have survived attempts at suicide in the same way as people who are living with cancer or terminal illness. Why is it better for someone with cancer to seek a dignified death than someone with depression? Both are painful debilitating diseases that can ultimately kill you and rip into the heart of your family. Why don't we see depression as the crippling illness it is? Why don't we talk about it? Why does society respect the fight that people put into beating cancer and never blame them for giving up? But suicide is about blame not acknowledging that the disease killed them! It's the saddest thing to happen to a family to ask how they didn't see, didn't know, why weren't they enough? What if we talk about the disease instead? How it disorders your thoughts, how it makes you feel so worthless and useless it's not about wanting to die it's about feeling dead inside.

@TheGreatShadow You don't get it. You only want to further punish people who are already over the edge. I'm glad I have better friends than that, but I have had friends who also didn't get it. Guess who aren't friends anymore?

@Josephine Well said, the description brings a deeper perspective. Thank you.

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