I love you girl! Lmao! It is a nightmare I could not have said it better myself.?

Ha!
You're killing me with these posts!
Suggestion: Singles, over 50, cruise.
Several of our single acquaintances have had success meeting folks this way.
WTF! It's at least a good vacation!

May Jesus find someone you can meet who "chooses" to be gay...and has D batteries

For us people of a certain age, dating and finding that special someone is way more of a challenge than it is for the younger people. Dating is much easier for some than others at any age, but the older we get, the longer we are alone or not in a relationship, the harder it becomes as far as I can tell.
When we are young and starting out, we meet someone who knocks us off our feet and fall in love. Chances are, we live at home, have limited income, big plans for the future and looking for someone to go through life with. Once we meet that person, we start our plans together, careers open up and we make life choices that meet our needs. And than the shit hit the proverbial fan, for whatever reasons, the relationship goes south, we don't meet each others needs, love dies, family and work take a toll on the romance and we get divorced, sometimes several times. Each time, we go in hoping the person will be the storybook romance we see others have, best friends, shared interests, shared families. But it doesn't work out.
Then for many, there comes a time of just being single. For many women, it seems to be while their kids are growing up, they don't want to bring new men into their lives and have it not work out. For men, it could be a career that is just too demanding to have time for romance and the effort of dating. Or we just have no interest in the heartbreak. Time goes by and through some means (On-line dating, chance encounter) we meet someone who stirs up interest, maybe go out a few times, get to feel like we enjoy each others company. But unlike the young lovers, we have each a long history, own our homes, have our own families and friends, habits and interests that have been nurtured for years. Our own financial situations, debts, and spending habits. Maybe one likes to eat out most nights, one like to cook at home or eat spur of the moment. If you get together, do we spend our time in your place or my place? If we decide to be a couple, what do we do with the finances, our family obligations, our furniture and collections? Admittedly, some are better at this than others. Some people have limited possessions, no financial obligations and the transition is fairly easy, but most not so much.
This is not to say it can't work, I have certainly known a few who made the transition without too much drama and had a very successful end of life relationship. But I have known many more that could not make it work. I have limited hope in finding that person, but have not closed the door as some on here have. But I try to keep my hopes realistic and accept that I may just die alone. I have grown comfortable with my own company after 10 years of being by myself. Not how I pictured my life, but better than being in a bad marriage as I see so many people dealing with, I think.

Well, not married by 50, we've got the left overs no one else wanted, which, to be fair, includes us.

I just turned 50 and recently divorced after 21 years in a quite difficult marriage. The prospect of being single and dating again is a daunting task. I am not sure I will be good at it. I am rusty for sure. But in a strange way I look forward to finding myself. Who knows, maybe being alone for a while will be a good thing.

Seems many are religious or have no idea how to take care of themselves and never grew up...the dating pool sucks

I graduated college the year I turned 50. A degree in fine arts and theater. I stopped dating. Period. Focused completely on my art career for 15 years. OMG now, I'm retired (still making art) but looking for a date...YIKES. It isn't the same world I knew when my studio mate in college kept trying to seduce me. I still look way younger than my age, but men my age don't seem to be interested in women their age. I've satisfied myself with have virtual relationships with men. I find it very stimulating because men love reading my erotica stories.

I am terrified of the word "dating". I have not dated since 1997 and I was very uncomfortable doing so. I have been separated from my wife for 2 years. She moved on and has a boyfriend. I am still in love with her and she has my daughter who will be 17 next month. She started dating too. I' m left alone, not knowing anyone. I am not particularly looking for sex. I would prefer the friendship better at this point. It is very hard for me to get intimate as I can be very shy. Most people that know me would never describe me as shy as I am able to carry on a good conversation and have a good time without drugs or booze. I look much younger that my age (63) and I am dying to have friends here in Toronto but have not had much luck in this aspect of life. My goal this year is to make friends in Toronto, both male and female although I really miss female companionship the most.

The up side is that at 50 you are self sufficient. You don't NEED anyone, so if you choose to be around someone, it is a compliment in itself.

Starting to suspect that dating is ALWAYS a nightmare. We just process the experience after 50 with sufficient insight so that we now recognize the nightmare aspect. Also, most of us are coming out of situations where we thought we were beyond dating. And now the reality is that we have to take it on again. ick. Wish there were better ways to identify, connect, bond with the next person to who will be significantly into our lives.

As a man over fifty when people find I'm looking to date I'm labeled a dirty old man.When women over fifty are looking to date people tell them good on you.I find it confusing.

I'm not quite 50 yet (49) but, it is a total nightmare. I thought by the time a man reached mid 40s that they would be more mature. But, all I am finding with men in my age range is that they want girls half thier age and/or nice bodies, etc. Basically, most of them are very shallow. And stop with the dick pics! LOL. I probably need to move. The town I live in are mostly conservative God bothering gun nuts.

Madam, I just joined this forum. I don’t have much to say about who is looking for what here. I am sorry that you’ve reached the conclusion that you have. But I am certain that I do not fit within those disfavored categories that you’ve identified.

I would like to offer some of my insight to the question. I have been married twice and divorced twice, and have lived by myself for most of the past 40 years. and I have treid to date and mostly haven't really found the "Friend" to share life with. living by myself has really never bothered me. society kind of looks at you askew, but hey up theirs hahahaha. as I close in on retirement , I do hope to find a companion to spend the rest of life with. not a nurse or a purse. a friend. its been a long tiring journey and having someone to spend time with will be appreciated better now than when I was married. just my 5 cent opinion. happiness for all.

Not such a problem out here in California- at least close to population centers. As you get into the sticks there is a defined Trumpishness. As to the religious aspect, some of those people really like to sin.

Not a nightmare in my opinion, just way more difficult than it needs to be. Old photos, flat-out untruths and a person's imaginatively-constructed online image of themself make it pretty likely that you're not going to meet the person you expected in the rare case it gets that far. I think many people create the online virtual person they wish they were, never expecting to be called-out on it, or in some cases, even to ever meet someone at all. I meet ladies with the attitude that no matter what, I'm going to have a good meal, create enjoyable and humorous conversation, respectfully pay for the meal and only ask for a 2nd-meet if everything checked-out and we BOTH had fun. It's rare, but no disasters... just lots of funny stories! The worst part of the process is that ladies are often scared to step past the anonymity of their cloaked devices with the very guys who they will never have a problem with... so we often (usually) just give-up and move-on before we ever get a phone conversation, name, email, or meet.

I am 63 but still in fsirly good shape and play with a rock band in Toronto. My wife and I have been separated for around 2 years. I get butterflies in the tummy even when I think of dating. Totally afraid of dating. Anyway I do not know enough people to be able to date. When I do live gigs I get to meet many women. They buy me drinks after performances and are very friendly to me. I want to pursue the friendship but draw the line with sex still. I do not know why. My ex already has a boyfriend and moved on. Not it is my turn. I first need to have female friendships in order to get to the point of asking for dates. Have a new band but it is in its infancy and we only rehearse. When we get booked gigs, that may be my chance to ask a lady fior a date.

Dating is a nightmare at ANY age, lately. Our culture (or, lack of it) has distanced us from ourselves and each other. Our expectations for friendships and relationships are impossibly high, while opportunities for meeting people the old fashioned way are all but disappearing.

One nice thing about being over 45 is a reduction of that youthful, intense yearning to accommodate physical desire.

I'd get that vibrator soon - spring is gonna cause a rise in our hormone levels...

It's totally a nightmare. I separated and then divorced my "last" wife ( the key word is last) shortly after I turned 50 12 years ago. I haven't had a serious long term romantic relationship or even casual sex in almost 13 years. So I'm getting a bit tense. I had a goodly number of single dates on POF but when they saw that I was driving a little Nissan instead of a BMW or Mercedes, I was history. In other words, gold-diggers. All I have to show for my upgraded fees is a lot of heartache and frustration. Although I did meet a few new friends. Sadly, they don't keep me warm at night. So yes, definitely a nightmare.

I don't go out with expectations so maybe it depends on what your goals are for dating. I just want to date, meet guys, hang out. I'm not out to judge and don't need a hookup, don't need a relationship. Mostly the guys I'm meeting so far seem to be decent people. If a guy has baggage (who doesn't) or issues or are having a bad day, then maybe our time together is therapy.

My one non-negotiable is prejudice: antisemitism and prejudice in any form. Who wants to hang out with THAT?

Anyway, I'm rolling with it and so far, happily, it's a good place to be.

I think you are 100% correct in your observations. I've often said the same thing about the gay friend - that really would be ideal. Sad to say, women over 50 do have a hard time because men that age are all looking for 35 yr old women. I don't blame them - I'm sure having a younger, attractive, vivacious partner at that time in their lives puts a little spring in their step....just kinda sad that a 50 year old woman gets called a cougar and mocked if she ends up dating a 35 yr old man. The more things change......the more they stay the same.

Crimson67, your concern is sooo right on. I just don't date. Instead, I focus on making friends. Good to meet others with the same dilemma.

Damn baby girl. Please tell me that our situation isn't that hopeless? I'm 59. I happen to be a righteous fan of the over 50 crowd, so it works pretty well for me.

I have been widowed for 5 years and am just now getting used to it. I have dated a few men near here, but they are tied up in religion and don't like it when I am the one that makes the plans sometimes. There are about 5 agnostics and a couple of atheists around here. I have met a couple of them, but they don't seem to like the idea that I play music in bars. The musicians I date are not working out. The one that I really like was so in the moment that he lost the moment. LOL. I am fine single for sure. . . But I would like to hang out with some like minded individuals. Right now, I am not looking. I am open to a date, but I don't hold out much hope on finding anyone. But. . . . That's ok.