I feel your pain. No seriously. Widowed at 48, after 15+ years of marriage. About as lost in that game as could be. Lovers are wonderful, but friends save the day. If we are very lucky we may have both.

From my experience of going through a divorce in mid 50's, it was interesting. Had been married for 25 years, and silly me, thought things were going well. Have 6 kids, and the last one was living at home but going to college. Was pretty down on women for a couple of years afterward. Then started looking again. Dated several women, and figured out quickly that didn't want a religious one. I do go to a Unitarian church, and it is a comfortable place for me, and lots of the members are atheist, or humanist. So only dated UU's. I did find a good atheist woman, and get married again. Some of the things that I was looking for the first time, just weren't that important. Am far from being perfect, and didn't look for the perfect wife. We have lots that we do together, and also have things we do apart. When I retired, set up an office upstairs, and didn't bother my wife when she was working from home. Do some volunteer things away, and she also does that. We do make music together as are both in a Celtic band. We have lots of common interests, but also bring new things in. Guess I would say, "Don't give up hope if still have some interest". But being in a state where in 2013, 45% of people polled claimed "none" for religion, the pool is bigger.

try after 60! With every decade after say the 20's when most people connect it changes for a different reason. THe options are narrowed and the stage of life makes such a difference. Maybe that is what makes some more religious!

I've made I think one really good friend on here that I cherish already and had an instant soul crush on another- based off photos! The humor is real! haha. I'm not expecting anything though. But I feel ya.
I'm happy with just good new friends too tbh, and finding out at my age and circumstance that moving slowly is best.

Quick movers spook me, btdt in my youth. You are beautiful & intelligent Witchymom, the ball should be in your court.

Well. I do not mind saying that I would like to be one of those people willing to change that, got to start somewhere and I am not afraid to help the cause.....call me Ladies ?

I have a 50 y.o. friend in Seattle who does online dating -- she says that when she meets them online or by phone, she addresses in her first conversation, explaining the desire to not waste his time or her own time:

1. Do you smoke?

2. Did you vote for djt?

3. How religious are you? (She is agnostic and won't go to church, but so far is okay with others keeping some religion.)

She inspired me when I wrote my profile on another site. It could not be more clear on there that I am atheist, not interested in dating a believer, and that I am very liberal. I even say "If you voted for djt, let's just pass and wave."

Friends with benefits is always an option. That’s is if you can find someone that isn’t too annoying

That made me laugh!!!!

I am newly single again so I'm not even up for actually dating yet. However, I did put a profile up on a very popular site just out of curiosity.

Where I live - Louisiana - 95% are some variation of Christian/Catholic/Protestant.

I wouldn't date with a man my age who would go out with somebody 20-30 years younger than he (if he was open about that).

And, like you, I've narrowed my own pool by eliminating conservatives.

Then no smokers. Then they have to have a job and make a decent income. Oy is right!!!

So, that leaves me with about .05% of the population. And, from that, it's like you said -- either they don't see anything interesting in me or vice versa.

Or, some moron sends me a private message and barely gets "hello" typed before he's asking if I want to have sex and fun. WTF is wrong with people? I truly wonder how many women reply with "Yeah, glad you asked! Let's do it -- phone, cyber, your place or mine?"

I would not be surprised if I am completely single until retirement and I move back to what I consider civilization -- a more liberal area. I'm okay with that.

your right im glad my right-hand works

In my line of work, vibrators are an essential tool! I have over 30 years of experience operating them. I'm not gay, but am willing to learn! In the process of reading your truthful and hilarious post, I immediately fell in love with you ....

Lol.
Sorry...
No I'm not...
LOL.
But yeah... my experience with dating apps... no bueno...
Bumble, pof, match, okc... use them all now for months... nada. Better results outside the apps and that in itself isn't much better as you've mentioned... shrug

Hmm... I'm not looking for someone much younger in order to recapture my youth. I want a kid though.

I can't imagine being in the dating pool these days...at any age.

I agree with you dating after 50 is a nightmare for men also Myself I would rather be with someone closer to my age younger women out there like to play to many games .They do not know how to handle a gentelman .someone that opens doors for them most men are looking for younger women to make them feel younger Age is a state of mind I look for someone that have lived and learned

It’s not just you. It is a nightmare! I was actually excited after my divorce thinking about dating again. That excitement when you like a new person. Can't stop smiling. It didn't take very many dates to realize how wrong I was. So now it's me, my girlfriends, and when needed my "other friend".

You need a B.o.b. Lol

Don't lose faith of what your charms could bring. I know is getting rough but it will get better. I am sure I am not alone but I decided years ago never to date again. There was nothing new I was going to find and all my sex bucket list been rewritten and redone to my satisfaction. There was no new tricks to learn or new arguments to bring up. Then I decided one day to give it a new "go" just because I could and someone that burned the candle so much by both ends never extinguish the fire. The fact and I hate to say this because I am quite of old fashion for some things but... I have never seen a viagra pill in my life. That fact brings a smile to my face that I never expected to have. I am the same old me of always. We are out there, maybe hidden on an unwanted relation, maybe bringing ourselves back to health, maybe like me looking without searching. I am not going to be the answer to everyone. But all I need is getting it Right once. Odds are on my favor... Just as in the favor of everyone of you Ladies. And yes I am twice retired, well experienced and plenty available but for the Right One... Not for everyone. I never been every answer to every woman so why be now? Just as You Ladies. Never, Ever Lower Your Standards!!! I never had. I never will and happy staying in my lane.

Instead of a gay friend, I've turned my dating frustration/failure to friends without benefits. I have two women who I just hang out with.

I wouldn't know. I couldn't get a date if I were the last man on earth. Mostly because I'm only interested in men, so there's that. But I haven't done a lot of dating. In fact, the only guy to recently ask me out only did so after the telephone pole turned him down.

That's the nice thing about vibrators. They don't nag for sandwiches, they don't snore, and they never make you sleep in the wet spot (unless you want to-your choice). I've always said that when girls turn 15, they should be given a vibrator and a lifetime supply of Duracell batteries.
It would eliminate SO much aggravation for them.

And to religious add an accent such as mine; they run as far as they can...LOL

where do you live?? lol

Gay guys make awesome friends ! There's always women too ...

I think - from my experiences, is that while the internet helps us meet people we wouldn't have met otherwise - it also allows everyone with a computer to participate , which means you have to sort through many more people, scammers, nutsos, and other totally inappropriate humans !

Not easy - no.

I am right there with you! My young gay friend (an awesome set up, BTW) moved to Brazil!

My attempts at dating lead to guys seeking: instant sex (I am not a by-the-third-date sort), instant marriage, instant bank account, or instant mom. The nonbeliever and left leaning thing further hurts my chances as does a general (at least with who I've encountered so far) male fear of widows (the whole cannot-compete-with-a-ghost thing). News flash! Late hubs ain't coming back, AND shall forever remain 42.

I figure I will see how it goes once my nest empties. A change in geography might be in order...

You'll just have to start dating younger men.