WTF is wrong with you? You have got to be the Shittiest Deity every. FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!!

I’d have nothing to say to it. wouldn’t have the time for such a messed up entity

If there was a heaven and I came along the road to the pearly gates, and St Peter beckoned me to come in, I'd say ...No thanks Peter, I'll be moving right along ..

"Why in hell couldn't you have said something?" But there isn't any sense in asking an atheist that question.

I would tell him that he's a real jerk.

I thought you’re retired!

I think this clip about sums it up.

[scifibeer.com]

You should really see a doctor, those holes in your hands should have healed by now.

I couldnt do better that Stephen Fry and i am not sure that I would want to speak to god - what for?

....You are obviously the first meglomegalomaniac.

i have a lot of questions id ask, but the one i remember being the first one i ever had about the whole god/bible thing is, how on earth is allowing your child(forgetting that this child is also supposed to be god, but not god for a moment...)to be brutally murdered to help a bunch of people who you feel did bad things(sin) in any stretch of the imagination supposed to be a good thing? as a parent i just don't get that bit. also the whole idea that this god is supposed to be more important to you than anything, even your family. nobody is more important to me than my family. to me, thats like saying my boss is more important to me than my family. i mean yeah he/shes an important person, and if he/shes a good boss, i will respect them and maybe even look up to them. but if the building was on fire and i could only save my family or my boss, sorry but the boss dies horribly in the fire i guess. i remember when i found that out, i wondered if my dad was gonna kill me one day.

I'd ask em if he(or she) would like to grab a drink and discuss the issues.

For me God is a Godess, the holy Mother of Nature. I would say when I should be infront of her that I'm sorry for the mistakes in my life, and that I love Her so much.

Which one?

And why are you using a male pronoun?

Let me guess.

You also see him as "White" and "Gentile"

On edit - Fry's answer was excellent. I have answered very similar to that when some evangelic type keeps pushing the issue because they think they are going to cause me to have a "come to Jesus moment."

That type of answer will generally shut them down. .

Take me to the bar dude I hope there is pole dancers

Were Flying Cockroaches Really Necessary!

Hi Zeus!!

I would say "so your that bastard that's responsibile for all the crap that is going in this world"?

Fry's answer is pretty good. I'd say: Why do you hate brown people so much?

"I've always done my best to be kind to other people within my limited means; what's your excuse you egotistical, all powerful bastard?"

Wtf did you do that for?

"Great, I thought I was really dead, but it's just a bad dream."

Him?

How are my father, mother, and sister? Tell them I love them.

Can't beat Stephen Fry's response. Some good additions here already, though.

Me? I'd ask him why, when a man rapes his 12 year old daughter, he sometimes pushes that big old 'make a baby' button of his. If he has the power over conception, and every new life is his will and blessing, why does he burden any 12 year old with that? Especially one that's been a victim of their own parent.

Indeed, why does he press that button for people who can't afford to raise their children or won't care for them, and staunchly refuse to press it for well off couples who would dote on their child?

Anyone would think that he just stabbed at that button at random. Or that he and the button didn't exist in the first place.