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When a guy wants an open relationship and doesn't consider you a girlfriend, but still wants the benefits. It's an automatic deal breaker for me now. But not telling other people what to do if it works for them.

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UrsiMajor 8 Jan 3
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14 comments

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1

Because you just wanna have wonderful sex. Real love and intimacy is wonderful go to that.

1

Both males and females seem to have a preset notion of loyalty. This is where we start as pre-pubescent teenagers. Any shift from this initial value must be seen as a perversion,

rcandlish Level 7 Jan 4, 2019
5

A open relationship, is still a relationship, if he does not see you as a girlfriend than he is a player, not in a open relationship. Good for you for drawing the line. Even FWB is a friendship and friendship is a type of relationship. Everyone must be on the same page as to what that is and all be kind and respectful.

1

"or that he will take care of and honor you"

That part made me wonder if the article was written by a religious person.
Sounds like like the author was talking about marriage.

hippydog Level 8 Jan 3, 2019

@MarvelAnn I agree. Even though I'm an agnostic, I still try to act with integrity, treat people with respect and I'm not completely offended and repulsed by the word morals.

2

If a person doesnt consider you a partner in any way that sounds more like a FWB situation. An open relationship is still based on a full relationship (imo) except they are not exclusive when it comes to sex.

hippydog Level 8 Jan 3, 2019
2

After reading the list I felt the same would apply to me. I would want all the same treatment that a woman would want in a potential relationship.

Nardi Level 7 Jan 3, 2019
4

No open relationship for me... No good...

2

open is not for me

3

Ya it's a deal breaker for me also. Though I am stictly looking for friendship, and then we can see if we want to develop more. Even though this is said.. so many people act like they are just waiting so many weeks..before you make up yoru mind. I feel that I just want to make sure we are able to get along. I also value friendship. People I meet I"m grateful for that I have friends that may last.

AmmaRE007 Level 7 Jan 3, 2019
3

To each his own, but what the hell happened to I want to be single? Isn't it the same thing? I guess I just don't understand the point of an open relationship

Kojaksmom Level 8 Jan 3, 2019

@randaroo but I don't understand why you have to be married. Why not stay single and just string two men along? Is it that you use one for Financial Security like your husband and the other one for sex?

@randaroo I don't mean to be rude. as I've said in a previous statement, I simply don't understand open relationships. I just cannot imagine why anyone would believe in marriage and yet I have multiple other men in their life. I still don't understand why you wouldn't choose to just stay single and have as many men in your life as you want. I do know of women who do that.

1

Ping @irascible

2

Having briefly read the article I have two big problems.

The first is the article's deification of women.

The second is the presumption that the woman is not receiving the same degree of satisfaction as the man from coitus.

You are are perfectly entitled to refuse sexual intercourse with anyone just as you are perfectly entitled to refuse to eat caviar, chocolate, meat or cream.

2

Everyone must be true to themselves. I can understand a man wanting a prostitute without having to pay, but that's using a woman and unfair to her. Relationship without a girlfriend is an oxymoron. I've never wanted such a thing, but I know some men do. It is similar to guys who like fat women, because they are easier to control; I've known (past tense) men like that. I don't want to be around them either.

EdEarl Level 8 Jan 3, 2019

Are you saying that you cannot provide a woman as much pleasure as she gives you?

@FrayedBear No. I cannot know the pleasure a woman knows, so comparing is impossible. My sexual pleasure is intense, but fleeting; you know a few seconds and its over for a while. I like to extend my pleasure by giving my partner all she wants. Moreover, a relationship is essential to get the emotional connection and pleasures of it. I think it takes a man with low empathy to not want to pleasure beyond ejaculation. On the other hand, I can understand that kind of behavior; although, it's not me.

so do you feel that fat woman wouldn't be liked..other than the fact that they are easier to control? I realise that you are stating something that someone else said. I find that usually there is some agreement to what is said on some level when someone quotes what someone else has said.

@AmmaRE007 I am host of Battling Obesity, inherited when the previous host quit. I once weighed nearly 450 lbs; thus, I would be a hypocritical to discriminate against fat women. On the other hand, being fat generally not good for one's health, and I would encourage her to lose weight. I've lost over 150 lbs, when I visit my doctor again, I'll weigh and find out if my weight loss has continued; pretty sure it has. I haven't had stomach surgery, and do not suffer hunger. Others have done what I am doing, so it isn't impossible. One must change the foods they eat, which is hard as breaking any habit. Many people will not try and don't want to hear about it. If she was so stubborn she would not try to be as healthy as possible, I would seriously consider ending the relationship, or not starting one.

2

I think it's hard to make open relationships work (not that I've been in one, just my opinion). But it really has to be a mutual decision at the outset. I'm pretty much in your camp on this. I didn't click thru to the article, just responding to your comment. =]

IAMGROOT Level 7 Jan 3, 2019
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