23 6

I don't know if anyone else has experienced this? But the older I get, I find that women are less about touch, no more massages and making each other feel good. Is it just me? Discuss.

By Unclehotrod7
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23 comments

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5

I don't think they value touch any less, as long as it's the right kind. But I think as women age they tend to see more value in the little things that make up a relationship as time passes. Like when you go the extra mile and make her dinner after a rough day. Or the quirks of a simple shared conversation over something either of you are passionate about.

At the same time, I am sure that after awhile the occasional usual massage may be good, but can be a bit stale after awhile. Which means that we as significant others need to stay on our toes and shake things up a little. So don't be complacent, try or learn something new to liven things up a little!

Sometimes just simply talking with them can help, or adding a bit of scented oils or lotions from Bath and Bodyworks can be nice. I particularly like the Japanese Cherry Blossom. Whatever the scent may be make sure she has a hand in picking it or at least try to be mindful with what she may or may not like.

Parzival Level 5 Feb 26, 2019

Yes, all of that. And perhaps finding out what her love language is, and yours. Maybe her language isn't physical touch. I think a key here is communication. And women will tire of giving... if they do not receive what they need.

5

Oh my goodness. Not me. But it might be that women get older and give up on giving like they have they're whole lives. Women are nurturers but when they don't get their needs met they do tend to give up on giving.

Wildflower Level 8 Feb 26, 2019

@Montesblues but I have always recepricated, but lately the women that I've seen don't want to go there, even if I give first.

@Unclehotrod Then it's probably those particular women. Don't judge all by a few.

4

I don't think they value touch any less, as long as it's the right kind. But I think as women age they tend to see more value in the little things that make up a relationship as time passes. Like when you go the extra mile and make her dinner after a rough day. Or the quirks of a simple shared conversation over something either of you are passionate about.

At the same time, I am sure that after awhile the occasional usual massage may be good, but can be a bit stale after awhile. Which means that we as significant others need to stay on our toes and shake things up a little. So don't be complacent, try or learn something new to liven things up a little!

Sometimes just simply talking with them can help, or adding a bit of scented oils or lotions from Bath and Bodyworks can be nice. I particularly like the Japanese Cherry Blossom. Whatever the scent may be make sure she has a hand in picking it or at least try to be mindful with what she may or may not like.

Parzival Level 5 Feb 26, 2019

I like your concept, but I don't have a significant other. I'm talking about when you meet someone new.

@Unclehotrod well..l i think that depends entirely upon the woman and how well you know them... they may not be entirely comfortable with being touched. Or if you barely know them...especially if they have undergone some sort of trauma or bad situtation. In reality that can happen to anyone, no matter what gender.

It really depends entirely on the person and their preferences. Wildflower makes an excellent point about communication and love languages.

4

I think it is just you. I am all about touch. Not so much giving a massage, my hands have arthritis so it hurts to give massages, but I will take a massage any day.

HippieChick58 Level 9 Feb 26, 2019
3

Oh heck no. If anything, it's increased. I was very wary about touch when I was younger. That being said, it ALL depends on who is doing it and in what context.

bleurowz Level 8 Feb 27, 2019
3

When do you make the offer? I’m all for massage from a lover but not on a first date. Also, what’s the skill set? Some people touch all the wrong places and it’s so freaking awkward.

UUNJ Level 8 Feb 26, 2019
3

I disagree completely. I am a very physical person and at going-on-70, touch is still very high on my list of things needed in a relationship.

MissKathleen Level 9 Feb 26, 2019
3

Does it depend on the women? I'm all about touch and making each other feel good. Massages -- I love my feet massaged.

2

Giving or receiving? My last lover was 76 and loved a gentle massage. She also gave as good as she got.

RonWilliam53 Level 7 Feb 27, 2019
2

Perhaps, I'm a touch snob. If the timing is off its annoying. I was more receptive when I was younger.

Kojaksmom Level 8 Feb 27, 2019
2

If I’ve just met someone, I’m going to be shy and reserved before I let my guard down and open my boundaries. Anything that feels too aggressive causes me to keep my distance.
I didn’t use to be that way, but hard experience in online dating has taught me to be cautious and go slowly.
I’m not big on PDA anyway. Holding hands, maybe arm around the shoulders and a quick kiss. I’m too shy, and too old, to make out in public.

2

Well there are people out there that believe the earth is flat so it's no surprise that there are people out there who don't like massages.

pmar074 Level 6 Feb 26, 2019
1

Since my late 40's I have avoided friendships and groups of women my age. Mostly because I am still raising children and have little in common with them, but also because of the man hating. They tended to have little use for men and yet complained they couldn't find any good men. I can imagine that it is difficult to find a women of that age group who isn't so guarded and jaded that you could break thru.
I had to do much work before and after my seperation in counselling to break down those walls. Many never do that work.

SaucyCheryl Level 8 Feb 27, 2019
1

It's just you. Touch is good

moonmaid Level 8 Feb 27, 2019
1

I think it's just you. I know a lot of women that are older and still love touch.

Nukdookum Level 8 Feb 27, 2019
1

I love tactile stuff but my partner won’t ever initiate but will engage if I do. I don’t mind though it gives me a bit of freedom. She’s not touchy touchy at all and sometimes I get a disconnected feeling but all I have to do is cuddle her and it’s all ok again

Nardi Level 7 Feb 27, 2019

The reason that I ask this, is that the last few women that I have dated won't do it by even upon request. I might have a foggy memory ... But I seem to remember when I was younger, just a suggestion, and it was happening.

@Unclehotrod it might be because it’s a trust thing. The older we get the more negative lessons we learn as we move from one relationship to the next. So our expectations and willingness to open up becomes progressivley less. I can imagine this makes person less and less comfortable with intimacy as time goes on. Still worth persevering with though if the attraction is there.

@Nardi well that's an accurate assessment

@Freespirit64 why thank you smile001.gif

1

Not me, it is more important than ever. That connection and intimacy that all kinds of touch bring.

1

I hurt too, but I will still give if it counts

Unclehotrod Level 7 Feb 26, 2019
0

I’m not.

brainyactress Level 7 Feb 27, 2019
0

Sometimes

bobwjr Level 9 Feb 26, 2019
0

I love massages, foot massages, back massages.....whatever massages. If I like a man, I am a big toucher. Kisses, hugs, cuddles, spooning, their arm, their shoulder, their face.....I miss all of it.

Alvinsmama Level 8 Feb 26, 2019

So do I. If I had a significant other I wouldn’t waste a second learning how and where he likes to be touched. A slow touch of the hand leads to the arm. If all is well—imagine the possibilities.

0

I’m not sure I understand the question.

brainyactress Level 7 Feb 26, 2019

Have you read 5 Love languages? Fascinating. It says that what different people need to feel loved varies. Some like me, and maybe @unclehotrod, would feel more loved by a brief touch to the shoulder, or a brush of the cheek, than words of love. Others may prefer words, or gifts, or something done (like a service) for them to feel loved. Free pdf here: [youth-portal.com]

@MojoDave I know five love languages. I just couldn’t decipher the question

0

I've no experience with this

Cutiebeauty Level 9 Feb 26, 2019
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