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Proposed new term: emosexual. If asexual is on the left of the curve, and demisexual is in the left-middle, this would be to the right of (typically) sexual but still left of hypersexual. Unlike demisexuals who require an emotional connection prior to feeling sexual attraction, emosexuals feel emotional connection after a sexual relationship has begun. They may or may not feel exclusive and it may not be a deep connection, but emosexuals feel a lasting attachment after sex. Like demisexuals, emosexuals feel at odds with today’s disposable dating culture, but being more overtly and proactively sexual, they are more apt to be emotional casualties of it.

Thoughts?

ejbman 7 July 1
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14 comments

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0

No shit

bobwjr Level 10 July 7, 2019
0

I'm definitely emo and it is from hormones not guilt.

Lorajay Level 9 July 7, 2019
0

I'm definitely emo.

Lorajay Level 9 July 7, 2019
0

the chicken or the egg? … Is there a vague possibility that sex is vilified to the point that we need to justify it by the emotional ties?
Could it be that some people, especially women, feel so ashamed of their carnal desires that they somehow imagine the emotional ties as a prerequisites for sex?
I won't deny the more profound statisfaction that results from sex with a person I also feel emotionally attracted to, but I still believe that sexual attraction is in most instances the motivation to search for other values.

0

Seriously, my thought is that my head hurts.

1

All these terms , have heard many before but theses two are new,,can definitly understand the definition and where they playout in ones seex life,,but they can change over time,sometimes you see a person and right away you find them very pleasing and would have no problem getting to know them or have sex ,but it is whimsical fantasy because ot your situation in life,,then again one can end up having sex with a person you never thought you would just for sex sake and then find out there is a lot more to this person you would love to get to know about and just maybe be in for it for the long term

RoyMillar Level 9 July 1, 2019
1

"emosexuals feel a lasting attachment after sex" In my case, I always thought that was just gratitude.

2

Interesting thoughts.
I've never really known myself sexually until just these last 8 years or so. I didn't even know these terms existed until I got on this site!
Decades of learning to live with an unsatisfactory sex life in a bad marriage and ignoring needs in favor of another's tends to make one close up and become a bit cynical.
It's hard to relax now and open up. It takes effort. But I find I just can't get excited physically over someone unless there's real affection there. And they must exhibit some sense of intelligence first off and I find the mind is increasingly important to me. I've been called sapio sexual, but the demi is certainly another facet.

I can really identify with what you're saying! I've been divorced for 3 years now, after a 37 year marriage. It's really surprising me to realize how closed up I've become. I stayed in my marriage for way too long, all because of my vows before god. Finding my way to atheism is what ultimately freed me up to divorce my husband. (Also, after I became an atheist, my christian husband no longer wanted to stay married to me, anyway.) Staying in a loveless, nearly sexless marriage for so long definitely did a lot of damage to me which I wasn't aware of.

@nomorechristian It definitely takes it's toll....ugh

1

Your definitions more or less point out the way I've seen "love" progress in relationships. With women, they have wanted to feel love before opening her body to sex. But with me, I don't begin to feel real love until sexual tension is resolved.

mischl Level 8 July 1, 2019
0

Can relate

bobwjr Level 10 July 1, 2019
1

All the definitions are not necessary for me, even though I will respect your right to identify any way you choose. An individual can respond differently to others at different times of life, and labels can be restrictive. I thought I needed a deep emotional connection before getting physically involved, but I learned otherwise. My identity didn’t change, and neither did my values. I am who I am.

UUNJ Level 8 July 1, 2019
3

That does make sense. And I would have to say that is me. Sex is a highly emotional activity for me and opens me up emotionally. If the encounter is sensual as opposed to aggressive, rough, or kinky... I end up with loving feelings, often resulting in me getting hurt.

Wildflower Level 8 July 1, 2019
2

I have to give this a bit of thought 🤔💭

please, think for me...I'm moving on, on this one...

2

I hope I am not one.

St-Sinner Level 9 July 1, 2019
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