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Ridiculous Rumors

What’s (if any) the most ridiculous rumor you’ve heard about yourself?

An old friend called me one day asking if I was still sober because she had heard I was drinking and using LSD. Lol..
I had about 26 years sober at the time, I laughed it off.
Figured that since I stopped going to AA 6 years prior, they needed to come up with some sort of drama to attach to my name.
The fact that I was happy, successful, sober and not in the program may have threatened their foundation, I don’t know.

By AMGT8
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9

I've started ridiculous rumors about myself.
It's fun.

  1. I was born male.
  2. I was in a gang.
  3. The scar on my back is from a knife fight.
  4. I have a tattoo of a tiger ripping through the flesh, on my back.
  5. I worship satan.
  6. I have 5 different kids to 6 different men.
  7. I have a few kids that I don't know about.
  8. I like black licorice.

I have started all of these and more.
I have quite a sordid reputation.

One of them is true. You gotta be convincing.

@Humanistheathen I'll never tell.

ROFLMFAO @ 6 & 7. I remember you saying something about adding anise to hot water; so based on that I'm guessing number 1. ??

I've gotten "glimpses" of what is in various dossiers about me. Trust me, it's the same crap as gossip and yes they do exist.

But I like this plan. If you can't kill the beast and you can't control it. Feed it some boloney! So now I have a project!! Thanks!!

@Normanbites My pleasure. Oh, the mystery...

boy born a man and had more than 5 kids some you don't know about you are good!

@benhmiller Science

@Donotbelieve Aw come on, please!

A person of mystery, a parent of many. Altogether too good to be true.

@morlll Is it? Mwahaha!

8

When divorce took place 11 yrs ago , I lost 30 lbs in 3 months or so . I was only 127 lbs to begin with , so I was looking pitiful I am sure . At work , and these are doctors and nurses !, I heard that " she is sick ", " she has cancer ", " she has hiv ", and all type of things of same quality . And I smiled ?

Pralina1 Level 8 Sep 3, 2018
7

I found out I had died.

nvrnuff Level 8 Sep 3, 2018

That must have been interesting .

7

When we were in Kansas the school had a voice mail system that parents could leave messages for other parents and the school. So one of the moms of classmate was leaving a message for another mom, and I was the subject. I have no idea how she left it in my VM box without being deliberate about it. She was scathing and cruel. It wasn't a rumor, it was downright gossip and meaner than snake spit. I had to deal with this woman for Girl Scout Activities. I was dealing with depression, she called me stupid and depressed, and then it got worse. If she talked about me that way who knew what else she said about me. I ran into her a few years later after we moved to Omaha and I was back in Kansas for a visit, we were in the same hotel in the elevator. I caught her eye, looked her up and down, and never said a word, never changed my expression. Longest damn elevator ride ever, however from my ex I know that "'the look" shakes people to the bone. I hope she's happy in her sad little world.

You got the last laugh. Enjoy your day.

7

I'm an incredibly boring person and no one ever generates rumors about me. It would require too much imagination. "Did you hear? Mordant is writing software again! Just can't stop! I hear he's getting fed work on the sly by an accountant in Schenectady ... hey ... wake up, I'm talking to you!"

mordant Level 8 Sep 3, 2018
7

Widows are apparently free game where I work. I actually had to fear for my job, the rumors of sexual indiscretions got so bad. Mostly, guys I rejected and insecure wives were spreading them. As recently as this year, I had an angry wife complaining about my going after her husband. It's all 100% false. I dated ONE guy in the last twelve years. I decided to focus on raising my kids after he threatened them. Sigh.

Zster Level 8 Sep 3, 2018

It was always "she's a lesbian if she won't have sex with me. " It would be better to have sex with anything than you Poindexter.

7

There was a rumor that I was a successsful porn actor, but it died shortly after I started it.

7

My brother pulled out in front of a white van doing 60 in a school zone with me as a passenger. It didn't end well. I got 9 stitches in the side of my head. I was lucky. I was dating a girl from another school. By the time it got to her, I was decapitated. She thought that I was dead. She had started the grieving process when I called her. I had to convince her that it was really me and that I was alive.

@AMGT It was the early 90's, she had limited resources at her disposal. I was just glad to see how happy she was to be wrong for once. A lot of reaffirming of life happened as a consequence. I was not mad at all.

7

When I was in college, there was a silly story about how I performed a superhuman feat of tackling someone 15 or 20 feet away from a complete standstill. In high school, there was a much more cruel rumor spread by a malicious, bullying classmate that I'd been masturbating in the bathroom between classes (which was ridiculous for various reasons) — but that guy's dead now, from a suspected suicide, so, not to be petty or anything, but I won.

resserts Level 8 Sep 3, 2018
6

That I was involved in a lesbian four-way with my college roommates. Because, you know, when two of your roommates are bi and hookup and all four of you get along and hang out, you're obviously all gay and banging each other.

Always amazing the inbred perfidy they imagine for even sympathizers of gay or bi folks or even garden-variety "fornicators". My late / prior wife was president of a non-profit organization for years and when she retired a gay member ran for the office and she backed them. This prompted another member to disassociate himself from us. This was the guy who, with his wife, provided music at our wedding and gifted us with a hand-crafted bookcase as well. I half expected him to show up with a U-Haul and demand the thing back. He was willing to chuck a lifetime of friendship over that issue. It was as if my wife had grown a second head and I'm put in mind of the venomous label "gender traitor" that was used against gays and gay sympathizers in The Handmaid's Tale. I can tell you that asshat got a few choice words from me about the way he treated my wife and for that matter myself and the candidate for office.

Oh ... the lesbian won and went on to do a great job.

@mordant "inbred perfidy": my new favorite bon mot!

6

My mother used to say something when I was a kid, that has always stuck with me.

"As long as they're picking on me, they're leaving some other poor schmuck alone."

That's pretty much my attitude with people talking about me.
I honestly don't care what they're saying, and they really are leaving someone
else alone. I like that a lot more than I care what they're saying about me.

KKGator Level 9 Sep 3, 2018
6

There was a rumor years ago that I was single, sterile and I ate pussy. Actually only one of those was just a rumor for a while. Actually it is no longer a rumor. Actually I was the one who spread that rumor.

jlynn37 Level 8 Sep 3, 2018
6

Hmm. I heard it was PCP and bath salts. I guess you can’t believe everything you hear.

5

The rumour mill started early for me. When I was 5 I was hanging around with my younger brother who was 3. We were yapping about kid stuff while leaning on the door to our parents' bedroom (no idea why). Suddenly he ran like an idiot, tripped, and bashed his head on the corner of my parents' bed's footboard. Blood was everywhere. He needed stitches above his eyebrow (he still has a scar there). No one saw what happened except the two of us, so since then the story that has gone around to all my relatives and family friends is that I pushed my brother because I was jealous of him (my older brother is first born son, my younger brother is the baby, and I'm the nothing middle female child). To this day, everyone believes I did it no matter how much I deny it. And my younger brother was too young to even remember what happened.

My sympathies, to be unjustly accused and unable to prove you are blameless is tough.

@Marionville I’m used to it. I seem to be held responsible for everything even if I’m not even there or didn’t know it happened. My younger brother had a messy room when he lived at home with my parents and my mom would call me, who lived in the next province, telling me that that is my fault because I should tell my brother to clean his room. That’s the kind of family logic I’ve had to deal with. In a lot of Asian families, boys can do no wrong.

@graceylou Saw a video of a kid , who , when asked if he'd had an accident in his pants , promptly said his little brother did it .

5

The rumors were true but I’m not telling because you’ll think I’m bragging and I like to present myself a modicum of decorum. I will say it was the 80’s, drugs were a thing and I should have locked the door.

5

I always think rumors about one's self are a kind of flattery...that people actually notice and talk about you...

It's true the angry sad people don't like the happy people. So they make stuff up about them. It's better if you do it yourself.

5

I don't ever recall hearing any rumors about myself. actually I might need to start a few.

hankster Level 9 Sep 3, 2018
5

I pretty much flew under the rumor radar until I got divorced. Ex’s stupid friend and his wife spread rumors that the reason we got divorced was because I was having an affair. I’m actually friends with the guy and his wife who I was supposedly having the affair with. Thankfully she knows better and jokes about it.

I could deal with adults thinking that but somehow my daughter heard the rumors and asked me about it. That pissed me the hell off!

5

Our lives have a lot of similarities. I was a faithful member of AA for 25 years, but stopped enjoying the meetings after the last guy died who was there when I picked up my white chip. I haven't been to a meeting in 4 years now. I'm sure there are plenty of stories about how awful my life is now, but they haven't gotten back to me.

5

No, all the rumors I've heard are sadly true.

4

All the time because I am atheist I can not be a good person and end up in hell when dead. Get asked were do I get my moral compass. I said not out of a book of fiction thats for sure.

4

My roommate is the same way. 17 years ago he stopped going to AA meetings because of all the "higher power" bullshit, flushed all the cocaine and heroine down the toilet and hasn't touched the stuff since.

webbew1 Level 7 Sep 3, 2018
4

The only rumors that I recall hearing about myself were in China schools(like small villages)...they were all true ;D

4

My kid's mother wrote this letter. It was filled with things like I was gay and was running a brothel and I was some drug overload. She put it on every one of my neighbor's homes. I was fortunate that at least one neighbor knew nothing was true and gave me a copy of the letter. I have it on file if I need it for future use.

azzow2 Level 9 Sep 3, 2018
4

I worked closing shifts -- 7 pm to 2 am -- as a bartender while going to college back in the 80s. At 6:55 one evening I was sitting at the end of the bar waiting to clock in when I was violently pulled off the stool and slammed up against a wall by a crazy b*tch screaming at me for "f***ing" her husband.
I didn't know who her husband was, but it didn't matter since I wasn't seeing anyone at the time and knew I wasn't guilty.

As I was 1) worried about losing my job, 2) going to jail, 3) getting kicked out of college for getting arrested....I talked her down off her crazy tree without taking a swing at her. Turns out, I wasn't the bartender she was looking for.....

After it was over, I smiled at her and told her if I ever saw her in the bar again during one of my shifts, I'd have the bouncer remove her. My boss did me one better, he told her never to come into the bar again.

Over the past 30+ years of my career, I have heard a thousand rumors about myself.... everything from sleeping with people to get jobs, to being a lesbian, to being a swinger, to being on drugs.....to being a "fake" vegan.....to having "made my money" by "selling drugs".....etc.
Oh....the crazy, crazy things I've heard about myself....some are so hurtful I can't imagine anyone trying to cause another human pain like that.

I don't waste time addressing them anymore or trying to defend myself.
People who don't know me, don't matter. People who do know me, know better.

I'd be proud to be all of those things.

@morlll you would be proud to be labeled as "being on drugs" or "being a drug dealer"? or are you saying you would actually be proud to be a druggie and a dope dealer?
Or you would proud to be accused of succeeding in your career by having sex with people? Or accused of being successful because you sold drugs to make money? By your words...you say you would actually be proud of sleeping your way to the top...or being an adulterer.....which is sooooo bizarre I can't wrap my head around it.

boy, your morals and ethics are worlds away from mine...

@SkotlandSkye

Sure are.

@morlll I don't deal with people who think selling and/or using drugs is a good idea. Also, it's incredibly misogynistic to advocate accusing women of sleeping their way to success. I hope your wife knows how you feel about being proud to be called a drug user or someone who uses sex to get ahead in life.
Therefore, I will be blocking you.

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