My interest or lack thereof , depends on whom I'm with . The problem may not be who she is , but who she sees you as being .

Are you the self turn on routine or is she finally relenting to your expectations and lubricating herself to get ready for your saddle mounting ? You sound vanilla and minimizing just how great she is outside of bed.....don't you like back massage ? Does she ever ask you where an aging body hurts ? Do yo live with her ? Are you not understanding love is a lifestyle not a rainbow of sex colors ? Do you ever actually talk with her about your intimate lives ? Maybe she has memories of a boy worse than you she is struggling with ? Do you have a clue what a real woman wants from a real man ?

How well do you communicate with each other about sex? I don't hear any of that from your post. Perhaps she's had physical, emotional, or sexual trauma, or any medical conditions that effect her libido?... If you have a wonderful relationship otherwise, then I would say it's more than worth for you and her it to be able to talk to each other and find a way to make this work.

When prostate removal and Alzheimer's-its medications and side effects-took away my husband's interest in our former mutually high-libido sexual relationship, I had to make a decision. My issues were; was sex the foundation block of our relationship, and were there any other reasons to stay married. After much internal dialog, I realized that not only did I love the man but I respected and admired him and never wanted to see him suffer. I wanted to be with him as long as was possible and I wanted to be his anchor as he had been mine during difficult times. There were several other ways to satisfy my own lusty yearnings, but his intelligence and kiindness had imprinted on me and I realized that sex was really just one small part of the deep relationship we had. I believe I instinctively knew I would never meet another man with whom I would fit together so well. The realization that I could not leave him and be happy made the difference for me. That's my story of my journey from sexual fever to celibacy. He's gone but I've never regretted that I stayed. And, of course, mine is a female perspective which probably makes a difference.

This is a more common phenomenon that we know. A lot of men and women stay in relationships because a lot of other factors outweigh the negatives. People hardly blow a relationship, especially of a sufficiently long time for one or two factors in a big picture of many factors.

In my case, I struggled since the first day of honeymoon of whether she was the right woman in my life. Sex has never been good (in fact terrible), sex is not a topic open for discussion. Whenever I brought it up, initially she listened and kept quite, later she started saying... "Again, you and your sex". I have realized that she is chemically different and unchangeable. But a lot happened since in the last 25 years of being together.

1. She stood tall and strong by me in very hard days (no job, no money, sicknesses, setbacks)
2. She took care of my mother dying of cancer at home in CT and did everything from finding doctors, doing chemos, comforting, bringing all family together, handling finances
3. She gave me a fantastic child and has been an outstanding mother
4. She made a great home for me and my immediate family to come to and live in
5. Every single person among my friends and family love her
6. She has never asked me for anything, no gifts, no house, no vacations ever
7. I threatened a serious divorce once and she said just take care of the daughter's future and take everything we have. I want you to be happy. I have left and come back once. She knows my love for the daughter is outstanding and that was never in dispute.
8. My daughter thinks her mother is her solid rock

This was too much for me to destroy. When people ask me "do you love your wife?". My answer is evading. I say "she is great. I have a deep gratitude." Love to me is a difficult idea to understand.

I am telling you this because I believe yours is a common dilemma. Only you can determine what is important to you in life and if you can live with the consequences of your decision. Nobody can do that for you.

Some people in some cultures say... the fate dealt certain cards to me and I have to deal with them for life.

In Muslim conservative culture, playing with breasts and doing oral sex is considered "Haram" which means prohibited in Quran. I am sure men and women are frustrated there. But marriages and relationships continue, families grow and the life continues for generations that way. I am not asking you should do that or saying it is right.... Lol

Ask a doctor working in the hormonal therapy field. Maybe her libido can be increased by hormonal treatment. But don't be surprised if she starts to have dozens of lovers. Lol

Some women simply have a low libido. (As do some men.) A high libido person should not get into a relationship with a low libido person. As for me, I'm pretty much a male slut. (Although I don't have a female counterpart yet.) But I'm not going to get roped into a relationship with a low-libido woman. I'll wait until my slut comes along.

I think sexual compatibility is important. But to each his own...

Have you openly discussed this with her? Has she had bad experiences with past lovers?