Love all the different perspectives on this subject ,from many angles ,probably a combination of all these are what is required at times and for some people,they are in love because they want to be and will work o n that relationship thru out life a long as the other person has the same attitude you have a lifetime match which is so rare these days,,I think at times we try to over do it ,instead of letting it happen naturally and stress free.

Sounds like a dysfunctional codependent relationship. Not sustainable long term.

I've overcome the delusion that monogamy is the natural way for humans. For me, I've come to the conclusion that one person cannot meet all the needs of another in a relationship, there is not one "perfect match." I wish there was... but I'm through looking for it. I've opened myself up to find "matches" for different needs I may have. So far I've met a man that meets many of my emotional and sexual needs, which I think is the hardest thing to find! And I am extremely happy having those needs met, they are my most important needs. Since I understand that he likely cannot meet other needs that I have, I will leave myself open to find that.
I don't want to live in a delusion anymore.

I am sure there are relationships like this, I had two friends in a relationship like this, but it could not be maintained for a lifetime. There does come a point when the giver who gets nothing back will want their needs met also and if their partner does not recognize this, they will lose them.
No one is perfect but someone might be just enough perfect for you.

Way too prescriptive to be a general classifier. A number of relationships that I would describe as "approaching perfect" don't operate as you describe.

This is one perspective and often it applies. But sometimes both parties know their relationship is not an illusion and has come as close to perfection as is desirable. An ideal relationship is one with enough imperfections to make it a learning and adapting process for both.

I disagree. You can have both people deluded, neither one deluded, or your version of a relationship. Relationships come in a variety of forms across a broad spectrum. Yours or the ones you have personally witnessed the most are but one form along that spectrum.

I see a "perfect match"as a relationship with enough in common to make it comfortable to be together through good and bad with enough plasticity to adapt to the changes that inevitably come to each one of us over time. It's wen that adaptability goes away that relationships flounder.

I theorize that every intimate relationship, even a "perfect" intimate relationship, has a typical lifespan of about three years. In some cases five. That seems to be true largely because people change and grow, and almost never change and grow in exactly the same way. Seven years is really stretching it.

There is no person that is perfect. There are people who are more or less perfect for you, in that they embody the things you are looking for in a partner. You just have to decide what is the minimum level of compatibility that you are willing to accept in order to be happy. It's a wonderful thing when two people both feel that the other is the kind of person that they want as a partner. Basing a relationship on an illusion as you have suggested isn't good. An illusion is basically a lie. Sure, you could accept a relationship with someone who thinks you're perfect but they aren't what you need, but that will ultimately lead to heartbreak. One day you might find exactly what you're looking for and realize that you should have kept looking instead of settling. You might realize that after years of maintaining the illusion that you're tired and just can't do it any more. There is a small chance that given time you will come to love that person but gambling that this will be the outcome is never a good choice when someone else's emotions are involved.

That depends on the person you are with. Everyone has flaws strengths and weaknesses if they match up with each supporting the other it can work if they don't you have trouble. Any relationship is give and take plus most importantly chemistry that illusive thing no one can accurately describe that can result in love. Too much compromise can develop into disaster.

I think I have a perfect match... Only time will tell...

The book “Connected: The Surprising Power of Our Social Networks and How They Shape Our Lives -- How Your Friends' Friends' Friends Affect Everything You Feel, Think, and Do” posits that it’s not a matter of finding 1 perfect match but rather accepting that we each have countless people with whom we could partner happily. They are likely in our network of acquaintances or neighbors (or online groups) already. The work is not to delude ourselves or a partner but rather to engage with others in ways that allow us to discover commonalities and attraction.

It is interesting. Yes, I think we all psychologically adopt and make the best of the relationship. It is not bad in the long run when the positives outnumber the negatives.

1. The majority of relationships if not almost all, do not have a perfect match.
2. In the young age, we are ambitious, want everything great, we fight, often we split but over time we learn to look at how the glass if full and focus on the positives.
3. As you get more invested in a relationship such as kids, home, memories, gratitude, you play down the negatives and tell yourself that there are many good things you have in the match.
4. It is a common story.
5. But how common is this ? [cnn.com]

I don't think one person has to be deluded for a relationship to succeed. Is it bad? Not in a bubble, but it would force children to take sides, either enable the person's fantasy world or challenge the other parent to reveal the "truth".

My pet expression: I'm perfect, I even walk on water! (Everytime it rains)
Seriously, a person I love to death, has some serious issues. It's those issues that are part of why I love her to death because few people understand them, but I do, and.... Well, I can't explain it... It just is. By the by... We can't have a relationship in the classic sense because of her issues. That helps make her all the more comfortable. Feeling accepted and cared about is worth it's weight in gold.

Alvin Toffler explained why it's so hard to find a "perfect match"...

He pointed out that as we continue to grow and get healthier, that relationships will be strained.

"we'll meet more people, and go in different directions much faster and easier than our fore-fathers....so our chances of "staying together" and "growing together" are greatly reduced".

His solution was ominous;

“To survive, to avert what we have termed "future shock", the individual must become infinitely more adaptable and capable than ever before. We must search out totally new ways to anchor ourselves, for all the old roots - religion, nation, community, family, or profession - are now shaking under the hurricane impact of the accelerative thrust. It is no longer resources that limit decisions, it is the decision that makes the resources.”
― Alvin Toffler, Future Shock