Question

Dave's 6 Vital Relationship Concerns 20190807_0627

Take care of yourself first. If you still have open wounds from your past, you need to get healed before you try to start up with someone new.
Study all about yourself to be able to specifically identify by the correct technical terms precisely who and what you are.
Fairly evaluate yourself by pros and cons in all the usual important categories and learn to fix or proudly own everything about yourself and find contentment in yourself and your life completely alone.
Work to solidly know all of your specific personal needs and limits for sustainable happiness (contentment), then set them as strong and clear boundaries for yourself.
Whenever you get in a "together" relationship, set up your home with the usual "share" areas, but also talk about normal human life cycles, and provide for secure privacy areas too, for those times that you need to withdraw and have alone time to think and settle back into sharing again.
Divide up home control as equally as reasonably possible (keep written score with negotiated trade-offs) as to who sets, maintains, and enforces what the functional purpose, activities, and contents of each room shall be. The old "we share everything equally" rarely works out realistically. You both reside there; one is NOT a guest.
END/DWS 20190808_0307

Comments? Questions? Confusions?

CuriosityExtant 7

Answer 1

Wish I'd seen something like this decades ago .

Answer 2

I understand some of these from personal experience and them not being done on both sides of the relationship. I want next time or I will remain single.

Answer 3

First 4 should be done before dating again,#5 should be "negotiated" long befoe co-habitation as should #6 but keeping a list is a great way to destroy a relationship."Remember how back last November 23 you said you'd vaccuum the house but didn't?" will lead to "Why are you packing your suitcase?".Got an issue? Speak then, not chart it for future complaining.

Answer 4

The how is there, but the why is missing.

Answer 5

Takes all kinds I guess, but this list would be a deal breaker if it was presented to me. Generosity and spontaneity are important, I couldn't live with someone always keeping score.

Answer 6

Sounds.... very... methodical.

Answer 7

Well said. It's hard to keep your feet on the ground when you're "twitterpated"...yet the break ups occur over the most mundane issues....

Answer 8

We outlined. Well sail! Applause!!


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