Not such a problem out here in California- at least close to population centers. As you get into the sticks there is a defined Trumpishness. As to the religious aspect, some of those people really like to sin.

I would like to offer some of my insight to the question. I have been married twice and divorced twice, and have lived by myself for most of the past 40 years. and I have treid to date and mostly haven't really found the "Friend" to share life with. living by myself has really never bothered me. society kind of looks at you askew, but hey up theirs hahahaha. as I close in on retirement , I do hope to find a companion to spend the rest of life with. not a nurse or a purse. a friend. its been a long tiring journey and having someone to spend time with will be appreciated better now than when I was married. just my 5 cent opinion. happiness for all.

Madam, I just joined this forum. I don’t have much to say about who is looking for what here. I am sorry that you’ve reached the conclusion that you have. But I am certain that I do not fit within those disfavored categories that you’ve identified.

I'm not quite 50 yet (49) but, it is a total nightmare. I thought by the time a man reached mid 40s that they would be more mature. But, all I am finding with men in my age range is that they want girls half thier age and/or nice bodies, etc. Basically, most of them are very shallow. And stop with the dick pics! LOL. I probably need to move. The town I live in are mostly conservative God bothering gun nuts.

As a man over fifty when people find I'm looking to date I'm labeled a dirty old man.When women over fifty are looking to date people tell them good on you.I find it confusing.

Starting to suspect that dating is ALWAYS a nightmare. We just process the experience after 50 with sufficient insight so that we now recognize the nightmare aspect. Also, most of us are coming out of situations where we thought we were beyond dating. And now the reality is that we have to take it on again. ick. Wish there were better ways to identify, connect, bond with the next person to who will be significantly into our lives.

The up side is that at 50 you are self sufficient. You don't NEED anyone, so if you choose to be around someone, it is a compliment in itself.

I am terrified of the word "dating". I have not dated since 1997 and I was very uncomfortable doing so. I have been separated from my wife for 2 years. She moved on and has a boyfriend. I am still in love with her and she has my daughter who will be 17 next month. She started dating too. I' m left alone, not knowing anyone. I am not particularly looking for sex. I would prefer the friendship better at this point. It is very hard for me to get intimate as I can be very shy. Most people that know me would never describe me as shy as I am able to carry on a good conversation and have a good time without drugs or booze. I look much younger that my age (63) and I am dying to have friends here in Toronto but have not had much luck in this aspect of life. My goal this year is to make friends in Toronto, both male and female although I really miss female companionship the most.

I graduated college the year I turned 50. A degree in fine arts and theater. I stopped dating. Period. Focused completely on my art career for 15 years. OMG now, I'm retired (still making art) but looking for a date...YIKES. It isn't the same world I knew when my studio mate in college kept trying to seduce me. I still look way younger than my age, but men my age don't seem to be interested in women their age. I've satisfied myself with have virtual relationships with men. I find it very stimulating because men love reading my erotica stories.

Seems many are religious or have no idea how to take care of themselves and never grew up...the dating pool sucks

I just turned 50 and recently divorced after 21 years in a quite difficult marriage. The prospect of being single and dating again is a daunting task. I am not sure I will be good at it. I am rusty for sure. But in a strange way I look forward to finding myself. Who knows, maybe being alone for a while will be a good thing.

Well, not married by 50, we've got the left overs no one else wanted, which, to be fair, includes us.

For us people of a certain age, dating and finding that special someone is way more of a challenge than it is for the younger people. Dating is much easier for some than others at any age, but the older we get, the longer we are alone or not in a relationship, the harder it becomes as far as I can tell.
When we are young and starting out, we meet someone who knocks us off our feet and fall in love. Chances are, we live at home, have limited income, big plans for the future and looking for someone to go through life with. Once we meet that person, we start our plans together, careers open up and we make life choices that meet our needs. And than the shit hit the proverbial fan, for whatever reasons, the relationship goes south, we don't meet each others needs, love dies, family and work take a toll on the romance and we get divorced, sometimes several times. Each time, we go in hoping the person will be the storybook romance we see others have, best friends, shared interests, shared families. But it doesn't work out.
Then for many, there comes a time of just being single. For many women, it seems to be while their kids are growing up, they don't want to bring new men into their lives and have it not work out. For men, it could be a career that is just too demanding to have time for romance and the effort of dating. Or we just have no interest in the heartbreak. Time goes by and through some means (On-line dating, chance encounter) we meet someone who stirs up interest, maybe go out a few times, get to feel like we enjoy each others company. But unlike the young lovers, we have each a long history, own our homes, have our own families and friends, habits and interests that have been nurtured for years. Our own financial situations, debts, and spending habits. Maybe one likes to eat out most nights, one like to cook at home or eat spur of the moment. If you get together, do we spend our time in your place or my place? If we decide to be a couple, what do we do with the finances, our family obligations, our furniture and collections? Admittedly, some are better at this than others. Some people have limited possessions, no financial obligations and the transition is fairly easy, but most not so much.
This is not to say it can't work, I have certainly known a few who made the transition without too much drama and had a very successful end of life relationship. But I have known many more that could not make it work. I have limited hope in finding that person, but have not closed the door as some on here have. But I try to keep my hopes realistic and accept that I may just die alone. I have grown comfortable with my own company after 10 years of being by myself. Not how I pictured my life, but better than being in a bad marriage as I see so many people dealing with, I think.

May Jesus find someone you can meet who "chooses" to be gay...and has D batteries

Ha!
You're killing me with these posts!
Suggestion: Singles, over 50, cruise.
Several of our single acquaintances have had success meeting folks this way.
WTF! It's at least a good vacation!

I love you girl! Lmao! It is a nightmare I could not have said it better myself.?

What a great post this turned out to be. I have enjoyed reading all the responses. It seems most of us middle aged people are sharing the same nightmare...?

What a great post this turned out to be. I have enjoyed reading all the responses. It seems most of us middle aged people are sharing the same nightmare...?

@ Crimson67, So True. Well put. After 60 doesn't seem like it gets easier either. LOL

It would seem that maybe your just " out of practice ". Please don't take that the wrong way it's just a turn of phrase, but i'm 50 in a few months and simply find the more people I know the more open I am to finding someone. Maybe it's different here in the UK but being Athesist doesn't bar you so much. I'm sure you have good friends but make more, then let nature take it's course

Maybe it's because I'm polyamorous, but I haven't really found it to be so difficult. I'm very "up front" about my beliefs, and that's a great jerk filter. I found it easier to find new partners before OKCupid got redesigned to be useless, but still - there are always new people.

I've been very happily married since I was in my late twenties, when I turned fifty some many years back I started getting random contacts from old girlfriends and old female school friends who all find themselves now single, asking if I was still married and if so was it a happy marriage, and to let them know if I ever find myself free. Came as an unwanted shock I can tell you.
It's weird because as a young man I was always the one who got friend zoned, "I like you but not in that way" and the classic "I would but you're too nice." YuK!.
So I am assuming that should anything ever happen to my lovely wife, I won't lack company, but obviously I'm in no rush for that.

You poor thing, you just live in the wrong place.

I joined OKCupid about 10 years ago, met a couple of nice women who I dated and hoped to become permanent partners. I havent used the site in about 5 years and I hear its now no good. I've been severely ill over the last couple of years and currently have no wish to date.

I think its important to be clear in your own mind exactly what sort of person you're looking for, and why you are using a given site. If its possible, make your 'wish-list' known on your dating profile. Also try to describe youself honestly, detailing your likes and dislikes. If you're willing to be flexible on a given wish-quality, please say so. this is a lot to think about and process, but I believe the more detail you can give the better.

If as you have found, there appear to be no suitable men in your area, you have a number of choices:

1. Change your requirements, perhaps for this site only. You may be hoping to meet a man with the aim of developing a romantic relationship. Are any of the men you've identified as local but unsuitable of any interest at all, for whatever reason. Maybe you can find a mutual interest that might give you the opportunity of doing things together and getting to know each other without it being sexually charged. Make it clear that you have reservations about someone and would prefer to get to know them more, without any thought of sex for the time being. You might be surprised that some men may be willing to proceed, and maybe, just maybe you'll find you like each other after all. Or someone might work as a mutual-interest buddy but will never be sexually attractive. Would you be willing to settle for that? If so, ask him if he would be prepared to settle for that too.

With OK Cupid, as with here, there was a good chance of meeting people with similar views through the discussion forums, who might make good online friends but live in another country and so be unsuitable to become genuine boyfriends/girlfriends etc. Its all down to what you want to do with your life and how well you want to utilise a dating sites resources.

If you're definitely not interested in settling for friendship, and don't see anyone that fits your criteria, are there any criteria that you can change? For example you may be looking for an idealised age range or physical build. Another quality might be the geographical distance between you.

If none of these tweaks yield anything, keep the site open (assuming you're not having to pay for it) and go try another site.
1 other option is to join a local club that caters to an interest of yours. I wish you luck!!!!

You hit the nail on the head. It’s horrible.