You are better off not taking the literature. Jehovah's Witnesses will count you as interested and come back soon to give you more literature. You would be considered what they call a "return visit."

It's not funny or interesting, but I just tell them that I am not interested, and it's true, I am not. I have too many things to do, or to read.

Gees now I want to get a door knocker alone and ask for their stories!

One should deal with them as Gene Wilder and his sidekick Marty Feldman did!

Hide!

I have a no soliciting sign that specifically says "no religion." I still get them now and then. I make them read the sign, then educate them that they need to be spending their time helping others not bothering people like me. I had to start being rude because when I first moved in they were coming 3-4 times a week. It's not like I couldn't find a church if I decided to go.

I had an experience with the mormons. I invited them in, my family apologized in advance (said they felt bad for the mormons), and I asked a lot of questions. They told me they had a curfew, and had to leave. I got a free copy of the book of mormon. I kept it as a momento for a while

I've used this approach on them before, with good effect. They seem to always travel in pairs and one or both of them always has a BuyBull in their hands which you get to kinda use as a prop. After the introductory small talk, focus your attention on the mouthy one doing most of the talking, like so:

You: Adam and Eve were banished from the Garden of Eden because they consumed the Forbidden Fruit from the Tree of Knowledge, is that correct?

Them: That's right.

You: And we all know that the Forbidden Fruit wasn't actually apples like in the children's stories, but the Knowledge of Good and Evil, right?

Them: That's right.

You: And who was it that wanted Eve to taste the Forbidden Fruit and thereby talked her into learning exactly what was good and what was evil?

Them: Satan, the Serpent (or some minor variation thereof) they will say with fervent conviction.

You: And how do we know today what is good and what is evil?

Them: It's all right here in the BuyBull! (as they smile and raise it up in their hands to display it)

You: (as you point to their BuyBull, look them straight in the eyes a little squinty-like, very slightly lean toward them and only very slightly raise your voice to speak through clenched teeth) EXACTLY! DO YOU REALIZE YOU ARE HERE TODAY DOING THE WORK OF THE SERPENT?

Immediately as this irrefutable logic hits them, their eyes get a deer-in-the-headlights look of fear, they blanch white as the blood drains from their faces, and they have nothing to say. Sometimes they will momentarily look down at their BuyBull in horror, but they will always avoid further eye contact with you best they can as they go into a kind of stunned shock, and the conversation is basically over at that point. It's a good time to scold them a little bit if you want on the value of applying some critical thinking skills to what they are actually doing as opposed to what they thought or have been told they were doing, but it isn't really necessary. They will leave, never to return, and you'll go back to what you were doing before they interrupted you with the satisfaction that you've almost certainly made another religious 'kill' that they will never unlearn or recover from. And you'll enjoy a little chuckle every time the rest of that day and afterward that you remember the looks on their faces.

Enjoy

I'm female. The Mormons wouldn't leave me alone until I got a boyfriend and he moved in, and told them to go away and never return. They said they respect the man of the house.

I'd gotten the suggestion at the time though to get a copy of The Satanic Bible and read it to them with my hand pushing up into the air over their heads. I was darned tempted...

Depends on my will to talk, sometimes I have better arguments than them, and they must resort on faith and misery to protect themselves against the doubts that I try to incept.

I got Mormons only once. I said " Heretics " and shut the door in their face. There seems to be a lot of Witnesses around here. Refusing to engage in conversation at all is the answer. Now, if I wanted to have a little fun with the knockers, I'd ask if they would like to do my ironing as they talked under the condition that when the ironing was done, they were done. That was 30 years ago and I never did it again. They couldn't iron for shit. I keep my front door locked at all times. It's mostly glass, so I keep a baseball bat right there. Don't open the door. My pat answer is " I would rather be eaten by wolves". That is a phrase that comes in handy with telephone sales people, too.

Ask them to come back with the pizza.

I keep it short and simple. I let them introduce themselves and tell me why they are at my door. Then I say "I'm not a believer" (adds "have a good day" while closing door).

I am trying to buy a house soon and thought that as a homeowner I should have a new strategy. This is what I have concocted and I hope it works. As soon as they knocked on my door and I opened to see that they're preaching, I fall on my knees and start praising Jesus. Thank you Lord so much for sending these fine young men in answer to my prayer you know my health is bad and I could never tend to Garden Alone. With the government constantly stealing from me and having very little money you know I rely on his garden so much..... ( I basically go on like this for 5 more minutes) and then very abruptly I tell the boys follow me. I point to about a 20 by 20 foot patch of grass and then I hand each of them a hole and a shovel.... that shouldn't take very long and I will bring you a glass of ice water in just a few minutes. Go ahead and get started.... then I walk in the back door and ignore them until they either finish or just wonder off.....????

It depends if im high I might come to door in underwear smoking a jay. robe open. gun in hand playing porn loud

Naked. That or offer them a beer or ask if they want to join my orgy. Keep on meaning to wear a robe, have the lights off, and say yay! 2 volunteers for the sacrifice

**I told some Catholic guys from the church accross the street NO to bother me with their propaganda. They ignored my nice request and placed pamnphlets under my door. Not only I picked said "literature" and gave back to them....but I called the police and told the cops a bunch of people were "soliciting". They were removed from the building.

I was a door knocker for many years. I hated doing it but it was a requirement. Now, Jehovah's Witnesses will not come to my door because they all know me as an "apostate". They are afraid I will infect them with my "satanic lies". They really are a silly, brainwashed bunch.

Depends on how I feel at the moment
If a bit "mischievous", I will play with their head for a few minutes.
If not, I just tell them I am an atheist. Sometimes they look like they have seen satin in person. Other times, they start their conversion speech, in which case iI say good bye, and close the door.

I've have store bought door knockers but I like to think I am can build them even better that the store bought ones

If a religious group comes to my door, I plan to tell them im an athiest and slam the door in front of them.

Perhaps one should deal with them as did Gene Wilder?

Well if the righteous religous folk come a knocking on my door I tend to humour them with some quotes from their good book before informing them that scotland is the birth place of the age of reason and that I am a dangerous athiest .

I live in a mobile home park which is entirely private property so if/when they venture on the property the are legally trespassing so if they make it to my door they are in for some shit. Often times I just start by telling them that they are trespassing and if that doesn't make them turn around then, while I am talking to them, I am on the phone to park management or the police and let them know to come on down to catch a trespasser.

If they are trying to sell me shit, I take their literature and business card then tell them that they are trespassing. It's at that point they try to ask for the paperwork back, to which I decline and I tell them I have to had it to park management so that he can call their boss and explain the trespassing statutes.

I think Mormon missionaries have discontinued what they called "tracting"... Door-to-door cold calls. Today if they show up at your door it's likely because a member referred you.