With this:

Posted this elsewhere but friends of a friend were butchering some chickens when Mormons showed up at the door. The guy, still wearing a bloody apron and carrying his bloody knife opened the door and said "yay, Christians!" They ran for a block.

I have signs posted that read no solicitation no trespassing all violators will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law

Two fun stories:
I was working in the garden with my sister and nephew when 3 JWs started coming down the back path. This was about the time that Tim Burton's "Mars Attacks" had come out. The language of the Martians was a loud and grating "ACK! ACK ACK!", which we found hilarious, and would often use in response to one another. We looked at one another in silent accord, and began a spirited ACK conversation. I then turned to our uninvited guests, and with arms outstretched, greeted them with a ferocious volley of "ACK! ACK ACK ACK!!".
Those witnesses can move pretty fast when motivated.
The second time, also with Witnesses, I was more direct. I was cutting up downed tree limbs with a chainsaw. When they got about halfway down our long driveway, I started the saw, and just stood there, expressionless. They retreated slowly, making no sudden moves.
Living rather deep in the jungle as I do now, I thought the opportunities for such fun were over. But just the other day, I found an invitation to the local JW church for their Easter service, in a plastic bag (#rainforest) affixed to my gate post with a rubber band. I'm SO sorry I missed them, but it does give me hope! ?

Many years ago, like in another lifetime it seems, I was one of those doorknockers. Really you don't have to try to shock anybody or be rude. They are entitled to their beliefs too. If you just say you are committed to your own religious beliefs and not interested they will leave.

I can't believe that talking through a doorway has more than a non-zero chance of changing their mind. I am convinced that to be going door-to-door means that these people are beyond the pale or reason. A) Say the equivalent of "Not interested" and close the door. I posted a sign that says "No Soliciting".

Talk to them about aliens, nicely. I Also like to hear their views on their religion, as long their not forceful

So I grew up as a Jehova's Witness and because of it I guess I tend to be a little more on the polite side about it... Honestly if I have the itme I'm more than happy to invite them in for a drink and let them speak ther piece.. I also really enjoy the challenge to my belief system.. Though funny story

I had these Mormon women coming to my door early in the morning.. As I work an overnight shift I would be very groggy and upset that they kept coming to my door so I told them if they want to talk to bring me coffee... And they did... Anywho so I allowed to come into my home and being a polite host I tried to find them something they could drink and despite knowing they couldn't have certain things I'd still offer them coffee,tea,soda,beer and what have you.. Then to be sneaky I offered them hot chocolate which they glad accepted and enjoyed whole heartedly....

Interesting thread. I live in France and the ones we get are English and generally wet, bedraggled and tired by the time we get them, so they are cordially invited in and given a tea and a place by the fire. Once they get started, we just go about our lives and cook, clean, tune up the chain saws, whatever, while engaging them in debate. We had one young French guy last year who seriously fell for my daughter last year - I don't think he had ever met anyone of his own age who thought independently, snd he came back three times ?!!!
My husband also brings out our bible , which has post -its all over it to the various contradictions, when they say " You have never read this passage."
Oneguy I met later in town, said the warmest reception he'd ever had, was from ......the atheists.

Ps. Nice to meet you all, this is my first evening here.

A friend of mine made up a "Zeusist" pamphlet stressing the importance of praying to Zeus and the other Greek god and goddesses. He gets door knockers on a regular basis and has a bunch of these ready to hand out in return for a Gideon Bible or Book of Mormon.

I had the Jehova's Witness come one Saturday morning at 845 after a long Friday night and was still a little tipsy. They tried to invite themselves in to save me and I wasn't having it. I told them if they would bring a virgin I could sacrifice I would invite them in and listen to their pitch. That was over 2 years ago and I haven't seen them since!

I used to try to scare of them away, but lately I've taken to speaking with them and asking them what they believe and why they believe it.

I am always keen for a chat if I have the time. I regard this as a subset of my overall approach of "know your loonie." That's also why I keep tabs on Fox News - how we laughed. If they've made the effort to knock on the door, I really want to know what their motivation is.

This is the other sign: [amazon.com]

I put up two signs, that keeps them away, as well as salesmen, and others: [amazon.com]

"Oh please come in, and I will show you, in the buybull, where it contradicts itself, and why I am an atheist. After that, we can put my grandson in the rotisserie and we will have dinner." The looks of horror! ???

I used to tell those people I was agnostic. That's a mistake. I think they go into overdrive and think they have a live on. To them agnostic means someone who hasn't heard the good news or some other such nonsense. Like we are just sitting around completely ignorant of jesus and christian mythology. Telling them you are an athiest is better because it is a little more clear where you are coming from, but the most ardent ones will still try to proselytize you. In my experience the most fun I have is to say you are jewish. There is no ambiguity and they know they will not be converting any jewish people. Plus, they usually want to leave quickly because they don't want to get any Jew germs on them lol.

Back in Florida when I kept reptiles, I would see them coming down the street, and answer the door DRAPED IN SNAKES!! They never returned!

remove your door knocker and have a secret bell installed that masquerades as an ornament that only your bessie mates know is there.

I put signs up for no solicits and don't answer

I'm always civil. If i have time I'll engage and discuss religion but mostly they seem to turn up when i'm practicng so i just say 'thanks but im not interested'
Years ago i did used to go out of my way to wind them up but thats not very nice and ive grown out of it

Hit on ‘em. Invite them in for weed, drinks, and sex.

I do not answer to cold callers, religious or otherwise.

As soon as they introduce themselves, I ask them to leave and I shut the door. I figure there is no point in wasting my time or theirs.

I was raised as a JW and I took a lot of abuse going door-to-door. I will tell you from personal experience that these folks are totally brain-washed and it really does no good to engage them in any discussion at the door--they have to come to certain realizations on their own. If you really don't want them to come to your door again, the best thing to do is to politely tell them that you are really not interested and that you would like to be put on their "do not call list." There's no guarantee that you won't hear from them again after a few years--just repeat the protocol. Also, placing a "Do Not Tresspass" sign will sometimes do the trick since, legally they can be sued if they do not oblige.