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Who else is a naughty atheist who invites the Mormons and the Jehovah's Witness's into their home when they show up unannounced and uninvited? Is it just me or are there others who enjoy deconstructing their delusional beliefs and leaving them shaken and questioning their dogma.

Surfpirate 9 June 16
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1

Well I don't believe I know enough about the bible to argue with them. I was one of those ones they got their hooks into but it wasn't because I was at a low point in my life, I was just very curious as to why they did what they did and about the bible. I talked with them for about 2 years but all I heard about was the good parts. They never showed me the not so good parts. I'm not really looking to argue with them anyway, they can believe in what they want and so can I. I also believe that when people are suppose to see or understand something they will.

Supposed to? What determines what people are supposed to do or when they're supposed to do it?

@JeffMurray It's when they are meant to understand something then they'll get it. Does that help?

@gracielufreebush No, what determines what and when things are to be understood by people? Do you not see where I'm going with this?

@JeffMurray I don't believe I do.

@gracielufreebush To say that one is "intended to" or "supposed to" begs the question why/dictated by who? A higher power? There is no "supposed to".

@JeffMurray I see what you mean guess wrong choice of word on my part.

11

A few years back when my wife was still alive, the doorbell rang and she answered it. I followed her to the door and listened as she asked the two young ladies to leave. Me being the butthead that I am, I invited them to sit on the porch and offered them some tea as it was a hot summer day. My wife glowered at me knowing what those two were in for. After getting the tea we sat and chatted about how god was all great and all powerful and all knowing. They seemed curious about how I knew just about everything they were speaking about. I regaled them with my history with the church and god and then sprung it on them that I am an atheist, and they were aghast! So we picked some popular verses and themes and put them up to the light. I could see they were shaken and not used to being taught by a heathen. I think one of them had more doubts than her friend and what I was saying was resonating with her.
As they left they effusively said I was the most gracious host they had had in several weeks, saying most people, particularly those who would claim religion, were rude and hateful and awfully opinionated.
Never saw them again but I hope I reached one of them.

Keep up the good work, there a lot of religitards that need help saving themselves, from themselves. 😀

9

I used to invite them in when I was a teenager. I saw it as a form of community service. If I could keep them at my house long enough, they wouldn't be able to harass my neighbors. When my neighbors found out, they started paying me by inviting me for a bbq. As a teenager, this was more valuable than money to me.
One time, they came knocking on my college dorm building. I invited them to come in and join in the impeding orgy (I wish). One of them just stood there with his mouth hung open. My friend was behind me, saw it all and said "yeah, I can work with that mouth position, you're in." We didn't see them on campus after that for some reason.

6

Haven't gone that far as yet but when the JeHos used to door-knock during the very hot Aussie Summertimes, ( days with the temps. reaching in the high 30's - mid 40's Celsius and dragging their poor little kids along with them) I'd answer the door with glasses of icy cold water for the kids.
The adults would look at the kids gulping down their cold water and ask me " Where is our water to drink?"
My reply was usually either, " Pray for it and Jehovah will provide it, won't he," or, "It's in the garden tap over there, help yourself."
Their usual response to using the garden tap was, " But the water will be hot or warm, we want a cold drink, why are you giving the children a cold drink and none to us?"
I'd answer quietly and simply with, " I detest anyone who drags children out in the summer heat just to preach or go door to door, that's child abuse in my opinion,so I'm punishing YOU because your God won't."

You got a point.

As an adjunct and an after-thought I'll mention a 'little prank' I pulled on a couple of those annoying Mormon ( Moron) Missionaries about 12 years ago now.
I knew full well that Morons are NOT permitted to drink ANYTHING containing either Alcohol or Caffiene.
So, one fine and very hot summers day, I had just finished making my 'special' Iced Coffee and Chocolate Thickshake when 2 of the arrived at my front door looking very worse for wear from the 42 degree heat.
They saw my icy cold Thickshake and I still think to this day that their mouths began to actually water, so I told them that they could enter my home, sit in the cool from my Evaporative Air Cooler and I'd give them a drink to ease their thirst, as an decent person would/should.
They immediately asked if I had any of my Thickshake to spare as it " Looked so invitingly cold and refreshing."
So, I served them each a very cold glass, I keep them in the Freezer compartment of the fridge in Summer btw, of Thickshake which they gulped down in almost a flash before my eyes.
They then rested up a while, we chatted about things not of a religious nature then then they left thanking me for my kindness.
I disn't have the heart to tell them that they had just drunk a glass of Thickshake that tasted of chocolate but was laced with Iced Coffee Essence.

Almost mentioned similar situations. Having listened, then answered their tag-team questions ..in the shade … eventually to find they had women & children sweltering in the midday sun! Never offered water, just told them - ‘you need to get them out of here.’ ...I began walking to their cars and checking for children after that.. Fools 😕

@Triphid Chocolate has a lot of caffeine in it. So I looked up to see if it was legal for them and it is. Caffeine is not the culprit. Some prophet said they couldn't have tea or coffee. I always thought it was caffeine because I used to travel with a Norman and he always ordered root beer because it did not have caffeine.

@Triphid Is it as fun if you don't tell them? I think making them choose with all knowledge is my favorite thing. "Oh, you don't eat pork/meat? Well, I made a dessert that's a double recipe of brownies, a layer of chocolate chip cookies, frosting, then sauteed bacon with extra popcorn salt. Feel free to have some if you'd like." I mean, there's no legitimate reason not to have a small piece of something like that, right?

@JeffMurray Well it is my private bit of fun and enjoyment to know that their thirst for my Thickshakes was the cause of them breaking one of their religions rules.

6

The couple of times they have come to my door I have told them I am an Atheist and they politely left.

6

They frequently rock up with their kids in tow. Maybe they think they're less likely to be abused. Anyway, when they bring their kids I start explaining to the kids about the delusion of a god being like adult father xmas. They leave pretty quick then and don't come back. I think my house is blackballed now 😄😄😄

5

I love it when they come by. I'll talk your dick in the dirt, as the expression goes. They usually leave after a few minutes. They can't stand atheists and agnostics. They just want to feel proud of themselves for going out and trying to bring us into the fold. They want to find some poor broken soul to bring in and get the praise of their cult leader and others for bringing someone to church (or getting more donations in the offering plate; that's not what they would say if asked, but yeah, that's what they're doing)!

They actually get bonus points for landing an Atheist but usually they have to call for back up in the form of an Elder who will try to get you to join a book study. They also get bonus points for landing a Catholic or a Jew, don't ask me why, these people are crazy.

@Surfpirate They are essentially no crazier than any other religion.

5

I have a bookcase near the door, right in their face if they step just inside. Their eyes automatically scan for Bibles, and start finding them. And then they start noticing some of the other books, and start to look nervous.

Hey, we gotta have fun where we can right? 🙂

Absolutely, I used to switch gears when my older brother, a JW elder would start quoting obscure passages from the Bibble, so I'd start throwing around the Koran and the Vedas, maybe some New Age metaphysical books just to spice things up, or some Wiccan books. That usually shut things down pretty quick, he never liked to colour outside of the lines, even as a kid; guess that's why he went back to the Kingdom Hall.

@Surfpirate
Does everybody in the JW become an "elder" if they just stay members and live long enough? Or is it a specific religious/political office in the church with powers and such? That has to be a crazy scene!

That picture is from a couple of weeks ago for a discussion I was having online, with a post-it note to prove to them it was legit. But I also wrote EZ 23:20 on it, completely out of context, just so they would look it up in their Bibles. No reason, except I'm a bastard that way! 🙂

@Observer-Effect From what I know, you have to kiss and lick a lot of ass in order to become an elder. My brother's first wife left him when he went back to the JW's and then he managed to knock up a full time Pioneer and had to marry her, that led to years of shame and climbing back up the ladder of JW hierarchy, thousands of hours of banging on doors, giving public talks and performing like a trained chimp at the circuit assemblies.
It's quite the racket but eventually he proved his loyalty to the Holy Moly so they made him an elder. They give you a special handbook on how to handle 'awkward' situations like - spousal abuse - child abuse - drug abuse - sex with minors by elders, etc. etc. I read it, not much of a handbook, maybe 100 pages, just confirmed how twisted these religitards can be. I loved my brother, he was pretty messed up and not a strong person - so he turned to religion in the same way that I walked away from it the day I turned 13 years of age and could quote the bible to validate my position. Know your enemy and use their words against them. 😉

@Surfpirate ‘trained chimp’, oh fuck, I fell over laughing and spewing my drink😂

@CarolinaGirl60 I'm a bit jaded, what can I say? I stood up to these ass hats as a 13 year old, enough said.

5

I will say, "is there anything I could say to you that would change your mind?" Then I will say, "there is nothing you could possibly say to me that would change mine, so let's not waste each other's time. We both have better things to do."

Fair Enough. 👍

4

What do you get if you cross a Jehovah's Witness with an Anglican.

Somebody that keeps knocking on your door for no particular reason

4

When someone knocks on my door uninvited they get whatever I feel like dishing out. I owe them nothing.

4

You are evil, h e, he.

BUT in GOOD Way.

@Surfpirate Of course.

4

With today's virus, I don't even answer the door.

Smart

4

I used to. It amused me on occasion.
I really don't have the time for it anymore, and they rarely venture out here.
The houses are too far apart to make it worth their time.

Although, I did have a JW call me on the phone last Saturday.
It was a New York number, and thought maybe it was a friend with a new phone, so
I answered it.
Imagine my surprise. Guess the pandemic has forced them to improvise.

I told her I was an atheist, and she gasped. Then I told her to take me off their list,
and hung up.

You can request that you be put on their No Call List and they are generally good about honouring it.

3

Usually, when they're done with me they think that I am the antichrist riding in on the sled behind the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse. I never let them in my house though.

azzow2 Level 9 June 19, 2020

It's an interesting level of stupidity when you really think about it, inhabited by demons and angels and all sorts of other idiocy.

3

I do. Just before the pandemic I ended a year long, once a week "bible study" with a nice young JW couple. Suffice it to say, I learned a lot about their beliefs 🙂

A YEAR!? Really?

3

Most Jw will not engage theses days they will direct you to there web sight or ask you to go to their meetings. I was once approached by a mormon they where very active in the town i was living in then and most people gave them a very wide berth. One thought up an idea to get people talking he asked them what he could do in the evening as he was new to town. Oh boy i thought this is fun. I asked if he liked meeting interesting people he said yes i said people who like an intelligent discussion in a civilize manner. I said if he met me that evening i would take him to my local pub where there was a ale festival and lots of interesting people to talk to and i could introduce him to the bar maid as she was young single and very attractive. He shot off very quickly.

He had to because he knew he couldn't resist the temptation.

3

I generally don't want to I am often quite rude (they are on my property they can take their chances) I don't want to waste my time and effort on a worthless task.

Budgie Level 8 June 17, 2020
3

Around here, near Mexico, the door to door folks are usually looking for Spanish speakers. I’m not sure but I think they’re trying to prey on folks who are feeling weak and already probably already have a catholic background. I tell them I’m a non Spanish speaking atheist of Jewish heritage and they move on but if they want to talk and if I have time then I do. It’s a chance to meet folks.

I heard a story once about someone I knew who was gay and how he led on the local Mormons because he enjoyed flirting with them. In the end I’m not sure if anyone got converted, or to what.

kmaz Level 7 June 17, 2020

Jewish and Atheist would score double bonus points if they could some how manage to reel you in but they never even get a nibble, that's why they go for the vulnerable types, it's easy to snag a sucker.

3

In general if I am just relaxing at home, I talk to them, and use wall of arguments to get them confused, I might have implanted some doubts in some of them.
Now that I have the certificates from FSM church I might try to convert them next time =)

3

15 years ago my Rastafarianboyfriend almost got the JW to come in and smoke a bowl with with us.

I am an emancipated Mormon. One day they knocked Right before diner, so I asked if they wanted to join us, they did. when it became clear we were a “no sale” they needed to go home by curfew.

The diner was more of a cultural exchange that fell flat.

3

i would but i don't wear clothing in the house so i don't answer the door. anyone who has business with me can call first and if i want to see them i can find a shmata to slap on.

g

Not a fan of unnecessary clothing myself, I've had a few dog walkers complain that I don't wear enough clothing at 5 am when I am stumbling about trying to make coffee. I always ask them why they are peering in my windows at 5 am when the road is 150' away from my house, that usually shuts them up.

@Surfpirate as well it should!

g

3

I love doing this, and so does my daughter. Makes me a very proud dad.

3

When missionaries talk to me, I read the literature they give me and listen to what they say. Then I demand facts and evidence to back up their claims. I also point out the weaknesses in their arguments. Often, when I do this, they say "Goodbye" forever. Sometimes they hang on for a while, trying to "reason" with me, but I point out their logical fallacies and explain why I am an atheist. They eventually give up on me. I hope I have planted a seed of doubt, and that it will help them come to a realization of the truth. 🙂

3

I used to have a NO SOLICITING sign on my porch. I had several folded paper hand-outs to give these special morons. The front would say no soliciting... They would assure me they were not trying to sell me anything. I asked them to unfold the paper to read the definition of "soliciting"... Then they got it.

Now I have a 1/4 mile long driveway with a NO TRESSPASSING - NO EXCEPTIONS that keeps people out. Hell... The UPS guy is even afraid to come up here!

3

As an X moron, I want no part of dealing with any of them. Besides, I don't argue well.

Ex-JW so I get your drift but I still like to play, see if I can save a few of the saved from a wasted life of delusion.

@Surfpirate I'm not a people person, & get rather tongue-tied so I just keep to myself.

@Lilac-Jade You are wiser than I, can't seem to help engaging with the maddening crowd.

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